London - A nasty outbreak of Tinea Pedis or foot ringworm has arrived in London and is heading straight for the Olympic Village.
Foot-in-Mouth Olympic sources said this afternoon they are dealing with the problem by making competitors walk through a 'sheep-dip' trough filled with fungicide.
That way, it is hoped, the infection will not spread to other susceptible parts of the body 'such as the groin' where it manifests as a notoriously tricky condition called scrot rot.
The communicable disease is caused by a parasitic fungus called Trichophyton rubrum and is typically spread in warm, wet environments such as showers, bathrooms and 'charity shop changing rooms'.
In 1992 an outbreak of the disease at Buckingham Palace was eventually traced to a notorious St Tropez toe-sucking incident involving the horrible Duchess of Pork.
Today's pandemic is believed to have spawned in a Heathrow Airport air conditioning cooling unit normally responsible for Legionnaires Disease.
Trillions of spores of the ringworm pathogen may have been released onto an unsuspecting Arrivals lounge at the start of the busy Olympic season.
A bottle of topical miconazole nitrate will usually nail the condition on the head as will rubbing the entire body with fresh garlic cloves.
Alternatively spraying with paraffin is equally effective.
