Gronk: Man in the Pink Zubaz Shorts

Written by Ossurworld

Wednesday, 4 July 2012

Only a legend could dare.

When the effervescent Dwyane Wade of the Miami Heat donned his hot pink hot pants walking into the lockerroom during playoffs, he looked like a giant Pepto-Bismal pill waiting to be swallowed by someone with a deep sense of dyspepsia.

When Rob Gronkowski of the New England Patriots shows up for a charity golf tournament in Zubaz hot pink shorts, it looks like the tiger not only changed his stripes, he went with a more risqué color to stand out in the jungle of pro sports animals.

When you are known as a flake of the first order, anything goes.

Dwyane Wade is a recent "Father of the Year," and when he wears pink, it's news.

When bon vivant and devil-may-care bachelor Gronk shows up in pink, it makes Molly Ringwald jealous. We half expect Anthony Michael Hall to be the Gronk's caddy.

Never ask Rob Gronkowski if he's in the pink because the answer may create a fashion faux pas if not a run on the Internet stores for pink Zubaz.

The late Mr. Blackwell of fashion sense might give Gronk a few demerits for wearing black knee socks with his pink shorts, but the Patriots will never give Rob the pink slip for his fashionably late 1960s style. Cruella DeVille seems to be his patron saint.

As big as Gronk is, we never for once thought of him as being the victim of the dreaded Pink Elephant like so many athletes.

Indeed, whatever he does, from handing out coffee at a local donut chain to having photos taken with an adult film star, we always end up tickled pink by the effervescent Gronk.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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