Reading Into Fab Melo: What's in a Name?

Written by Ossurworld

Tuesday, 3 July 2012

Fab Melo has a name that everyone can love. The only exception to the Boston Celtics draft pick would seem to be the faculty at Syracuse University. Melo seems to seem as sweet as a rose by another name.

Fab's academic record at a great university was not so fabulous.

In a program designed to assist student athletes stay eligible to play for the university, Melo flunked out at Syracuse University. There is no word if he passed the bar with former Assistant Coach Bernie Fine's special ball and chain test.

Melo seemed to be a good sport at the introduction ceremony for his new team, the Boston Celtics.

Some bright light over on Causeway Street decided to set up the first meeting with the media at the Jackson/Mann School, billed as "A Good Place to Learn" in Allston, a Boston borough, to promote a new "Read to Succeed" program.

Together with Jared Sullinger and Kris Joseph, Mr. Melo stood tall at 7 feet among the tiny desks of children.

Doc Rivers, ever the wag, asked him previous to the visit if he were all right with the school visit. He assured his new player there'd be no tests afterward.

If Melo ever wanted to be Fab, it was his grand opportunity in Boston. He has learned English since coming from Brazil, and his mother made her first visit to the United States and sat in the attentive audience at the introductions.

Melo stood and thanked her and his business manager/agent. After that General Manager Danny Ainge inquired whether the business manager was also his academic adviser.

Welcome to Boston, Fab Melo. You seem to be a fast learner, and the Dean of Students with the Celtics, Kevin Garnett, has not yet weighed in. If Garnett decides you deserve detention or retention, these pages will soon reveal.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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