Sports Umpires: Time to Call Robocop

Funny story written by Ossurworld

Monday, 11 June 2012

Bobby Valentine of the Red Sox was tossed out of the game against the Nats in the bottom of the ninth inning for arguing a strike call.

After the game he called the officiating "lousy," and he cast doubt on the umpiring in the entire series the Sox lost.

When Jim Leyland of the Detroit Tigers also goes after the officiating of his MLB game as blind, deaf, and particularly dumb, you know there is a problem, League Commissioner Bud Selig.

Now Roger Goodell is looking for a few good men to be replacement referees. Where is the Terminator? Robocop? Or even Dirty Harry?

A few weeks ago in baseball, another example reared its ugly head at Fenway Park when Mr. Leyland noted he could not criticize umpires for fear of his job. He called on the media to call a spade a spade.

The umpires missed a call, deliberately or mistakenly, and it cost Detroit a game and ended up with ejections galore.

The replays clearly show the error of the umpires. Not one would look at a giant screen looming above their work that could easily overrule their bad calls.

In the Miami Heat-Celtics game, referees gave the game to the Heat with five technical calls. All five penalties were judgmental and perhaps by design against the Celtics.

Whatever else you call the technical fouls, they were a shot of adrenalin to the Heat.

Human nature being what it is, we can understand the sensitivity of the game cops. Yet, it makes us more aware that all sports game ought to use the overriding component of a Robocop. Infallible and above dispute, let the computerized HALs take over the officiating. We saw how good a HAL computer was in 2001: A Space Odyssey.

In one of our favorite science fiction movies, the original Day the Earth Stood Still, life in the universe gave total power to a race of infallible robots, led by Gort, to eliminate any aggressor in a dispute with a laser beam.

We suspect sports would again become the purview of gentlemen if such an overpowering body took complete control of the sports games. Thugs, bums, and goons would become obsolete.

Since sports have become the opiate of the masses, the games are meant to keep young men distracted and focused on silly trifles rather than starting revolutions. Perhaps the fixed nature of games is merely part of the process.

Just ask Manny Pacquaio whose loss this weekend looked like bad officiating to almost everyone.

Let us go one step beyond the outer limits and into the gray area of the Twilight Zone.

If there has ever been the need for a Robocop or a Terminator in the officiating ranks, the world of professional sports may now be ripe for the picking.

Let the laser beams begin.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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