Out of favour England skipper Rio Ferdinand will be appearing at Euro 2012 - representing the Republic Of Ireland - according to SEN's latest acquisition, Ms Verity Warbling-Trollblog.
"It's all true," Ms Warbling-Trollblog wrote on her website. "Rio was proper peeved at being left out of the England squad by Roy Hodgson, and reports suggest that he'd enjoy nothing more than a head to head with his nemesis, John Terry. With this in mind, a few canny Irishmen got their heads together and decided to approach Rio with the offer of a few games representing Ireland. It seems he jumped at the chance."
According to sources, Bono out of U2, Jedward, Graham Norton, and Dara O'Briain put their heads together and came up with a deal which Rio will find difficult to refuse.
"He'll be on free Guinness and Kerrygold butter for the rest of his natural," Jedward said. "And we'll make him a Freeman of Ballykissangel, or something. For sure. He's been to Ireland so he should have no bother getting approved by the FAI."
"I had a chat with Sir Alex Ferguson, and Giovanni Trapatonni," Ms Warbling-Trollblog revealed. "And they were quite happy with the arrangement. Sir Alex wished Rio 'all the luck in the world' and Trapattoni has promised to accomodate Rio in the Irish back four. In a pivotal role. Rio is chomping at the bit. He'll for sure be in the starting eleven against Croatia on Sunday. He's flying out to join up with the squad in Poland on Saturday evening."
We asked SEN supremo Buffty Ginslinger for a comment, but he was being taken away in an ambulance following a drink related accident in Acton. Which apparently had him falling head first out of a skip, entangled with a Thai ladyboy.
More as we get it.