QPR Release Joey Barton Into The Wild

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 31 May 2012

image for QPR Release Joey Barton Into The Wild
Barton this morning looking for someone to bray

Queens Park Rangers have taken immediate and decisive action after last week's 12-match FA ban handed to their temperamental captain Joey Barton, by releasing the player... into the wild.

Barton, 32, has had a chequered past that has seen him in trouble on a number of occasions, but the latest incident, during which he was sent off in the final match of the season against Manchester City, seems to have been a defining moment in the player's career.

An unsavoury incident in Liverpool city centre led to him being jailed for six months in 2008, before which he was involved in a 'training ground dispute' with teammate Ousmane Dabo who, claimed Barton, had "a funny name".

The FA also charged Barton with violent conduct for punching Morten Gamst Pedersen in the stomach, but who can blame him for that?

QPR manager, Mark Hughes, said:

"We signed Joey as a way of bolstering our midfield in the Premiership, but he's proved himself beyond a shadow of a doubt to be an untameable animal."

He laughed:

"We've taken the advice of vets, and have decided to release him into the wild, where he will have to learn to forage around for himself."

When asked for his reaction to the news, Barton growled.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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