Rondo Faces the Music: Off Key Again

Funny story written by Ossurworld

Tuesday, 1 May 2012

If punishment ought to fit the crime, then Rondo's judges are not exactly an oligarchy of Tommy Heinsohn clones.

Apart from the chorus of "we told you so," Rondo's detractors are crying out loud for everything from the gas chamber to crucifixion. Who said liberal Boston was against the death penalty?

Marie Antoinette devotees are telling Rondo to eat cake on the way to the guillotine.

Socrates denigrators are suggesting a bowl of hemlock.

Pro-Castro Cubans are suggesting a firing squad.

Madonna clones are hinting that bumping referees is in vogue.

Tim Donaghy, disgraced NBA referee who has served time in prison, may suggest Rondo be given three opportunities to trip the referee during the next game.

NBA Semi-Commissioner David Stern has weighed into the act, stepping out of the bounds of objectivity to note that Rondo is guilty before judgment was passed.

If NBA justice is a yardstick, we may be looking at the Ox-Bow Incident or Sacco and Vanzetti revisited. Give him Hell, David.

No one seemed to note that earlier in the game when a timeout was called, Rajon Rondo headed in the opposite direction to berate referee Marc Davis. By the fourth quarter, the worm had turned.

Though many of the anti-Rondo cohort want to bury Rondo up to the neck in a hill of red ants, kinder and gentler Celtics fans think he should be hit in the wallet where all athletes suffer the greatest indignity at the ATM.

For aficionados of basketball, Goldilocks Rondo's one game suspension seems either too little or too much.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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