Written by Skoob1999

Tuesday, 24 April 2012

image for Gentleman John Terry Red Carded For Kneeing Alexis Sanchez Up The Bottom
Cuenca - Top Captioneering There!

There was an extremely tense atmosphere at the Camp Nou as Barcelona entertained Chelsea in the Champions League semi final a few minutes ago, with Chelsea under siege from a rampant Barcelona strike force. Including Lionel Messi and Alexis Sanchez.

With Chelsea trailing, Gentleman John decided to launch his knee at Alexis Sanchez's bottom, sort of round about the coccyx. Which is just a bit above his arse hole.

For no apparent reason.

And he got sent off.

Unfortunately for Terry, Chelsea, and the Oligarch, the ref's assistant saw the incident, and Terry was red carded, leaving Barcelona 2-1 up on the night on aggregate, and the commentator continually describing Barcelona striker Cuenca as 'Wanker'

As the second half kicked off, Barcelona were awarded a penalty, but Messi hit the bar. It's only a matter of time though...

Skoob Sports News would like to offer unreserved apologies for the shoddy content of this match update, but our reporter, Martin Shuttlecock, just can't help but giggle childishly every time the commentator calls Cuenca 'Wanker.'

Unreserved apologies.

2-1 Barca in the 58th minute.

John Terry - What a silly Billy.

More as we get it. Won't be long - this one's got 'controversy' written all over it.

More soon.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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