Transsexuals have to enter the Olympics as their birth gender

Written by IainB

Monday, 2 April 2012

image for Transsexuals have to enter the Olympics as their birth gender
It's hard enough running in heels, never mind against other men

The Transsexual and Gay Alliance are up in arms this afternoon with the news that transsexuals cannot compete as their true gender, and instead will be forced to compete against those who share their birth gender.

"This is highly sexist," said Quentin Sparkle, spokes-person-of-indeterminate-gender for the TGA. "And it unfairly penalises Thailand."

For Female to Male transsexuals this will lend them an unfair advantage, but as there are no FTM transsexuals that take part in any sport, it should not be an issue. For the Male to Female transsexual population who do still enjoy sport, this renders them at a significant disadvantage.

"One of the effects of becoming a woman," said Sparkle, "is the loss of muscle mass. This is a problem, as the male part of the brain devoted to competitive sport remains. Also, running in heels against other men is going to lead to a twisted ankle, surely."

The Olympic committee have defended their decision on the grounds that it makes drug testing overly complicated, and they cannot afford to genetically test every woman in the Olympics.

"It's hard enough getting a woman to pee in a pot," said Mary Huana, the Olympics drug testing chief scientist. "Aiming is hard, you know. Drawing blood and running DNA tests would add another zero to the cost of the Olympics."

Sparkle thinks this would be worth it. "I think it would be worth adding another zero to the cost of the Olympics," he said. "Especially if it was at the start."

Lawyers for Fatima Whitbread have been put on alert in case she is cited as an example.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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