Nancy’s Law
The Department Of Justice has subpoenaed the boots of Melania Trump under a little known piece of legislation called the Nancy Sinatra law, which states: “These boots were made for talking.”
written by Ana Sian, 12 April 2022
Honor Thy Cats
What do you call 100 cats owned by Honor Blackman? Pussy Galore.
written by Ana Sian, 12 April 2022
Jesus the Bootlegger
If Jesus could turn water into wine, why can’t I get drunk at a Christian wedding?
written by Ana Sian, 12 April 2022
Lauren Boebert Is So Dumb ...
She scheduled a trip to the Sahara Desert to look for her camel toe.
written by Ana Sian, 12 April 2022
Mars Marjorie
Marjorie Taylor Greene has signed up with Elon Musk to be the first woman to personally hand out Bibles to Republicans on Mars.
written by Ana Sian, 12 April 2022
Gaetz Lost A Date
Matt Gaetz was going to go to the Oscars, but his date was stuck in a time-out.
written by Ana Sian, 12 April 2022
Mitch McConnell is so old ...
That not only can’t he find his moral red line, but he also can’t find his underwear, car keys, his Russian passport, nor a president who isn’t a criminal at large.
written by Ana Sian, 12 April 2022
After Chris Rock Got A Smack
Will Smith didn’t get laid by Jada, so he could only spank his monkey.
written by Ana Sian, 12 April 2022
Darth Jada
Jada Pinkett Smith has signed a contract to be in the next Star Wars epic, where she will play Darth Emasculator.
written by Ana Sian, 12 April 2022
Hollywood is Obsessed with Remakes
So the next Lord of the Rings will be an all-Wookie and Stormtrooper production where they throw the Death Star into a black hole called Mordor.
written by Ana Sian, 12 April 2022
Putin’s Golf Game
He always wins because he uses anti-tank missile launchers instead of golf clubs.
written by Ana Sian, 12 April 2022
Lunch at Putin’s House
Where the food tasters are dropping like flies!
written by Ana Sian, 12 April 2022
A Modern-Day Dracula
Vlad ‘the Impaler’ Putin with a glass of red ‘wine’.
written by Ana Sian, 12 April 2022
Jerry Seinfeld in Russia
What’s the deal with genocide? I mean, there can be no Russian history without it! [Beat.] I’m going to the Gulag, aren’t I?
written by Ana Sian, 12 April 2022
Amendment Typo
A typo has recently been discovered in the Second Amendment. Correct version: “The right of the people to keep and bear Farms shall not be infringed.” America was an agrarian society at the time.
written by Ana Sian, 12 April 2022
Nancy’s Law
The Department Of Justice has subpoenaed the boots of Melania Trump under a little known piece of legislation called the Nancy Sinatra law, which states: “These boots were made for talking.”
written by Ana Sian, 12 April 2022
Cancelling Disney
Some are calling for the cancelling of Walt Disney. Guards at Disneyland are keeping a close eye on the thermostat to make sure no one fiddles with it.
written by Ana Sian, 12 April 2022
Achy Breaky
Miley Cyrus’ mom, Tish, has an achy breaky heart, so she has filed for an achy breaky divorce from her achy breaky husband, Billy Ray ... who now regrets ever writing the song that ended his marriage.
written by Ana Sian, 12 April 2022
