There were 25 spoof news snippets published in February 2019. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get all the news snippets from a day in this month.
300,000 Jobs Added in January
How many of those jobs were taken by shutout federal workers?
written by Ralph E. Shaffer, 02 February 2019
The Physics of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (AOC) Explained
AOC demonstrates a measure of intelligence quotient that is in inverse ratio to accelerating volubility, impelled by a delusion of superior morality and inherent virtue.
Sir Aizak Neuron
written by Trinculoman, 02 February 2019
The Physics of Chris Christie Explained
New Jersey Ex-Governor Christie demonstrates the physical phenomenon of pizza gone terribly wrong.
Sir Aizak Neuron
written by Trinculoman, 02 February 2019
Old Street Sweepers Never Die...
They just reach the end of the road.
written by Adam Click, 02 February 2019
Royal family to be ejaculated to c*untryside says No 10
Hard luck, eh?
written by queen mudder, 04 February 2019
The Physics of Bernie Sanders Explained
It's a rare, but not isolated, phenomenon where farts produced by inefficient digestion of psychedelic Vermont mushrooms issue from the oral cavity, and are misinterpreted as speech..
Sir Aizak Neuron
written by Trinculoman, 05 February 2019
The Physics of Nancy Pelosi Explained
A truly unusual case:a 19th century automaton(in dire need of replacement) has been fabricated with periodic face shedding and mechanically wired with a squawk of a turkey vulture.
Sir Aizak Neuron
written by Trinculoman, 06 February 2019
'Squeaky Benders' latest TV series to go viral!
As a sequel to Peaky Blinders, Jaggedone's latest literary bombshell, 'Squeaky Benders' goes viral on TV. It's a 6-series show with frontman, a transgender, squeaking his rubber ducks in the bath!
written by unknown
Combustial farting banned in BA's Business lounge!
BA has banned any form of combustial farting in their business lounge! However, silent farting is still allowed, as long as it's done in privacy, and does not disturb other passengers!
written by unknown
May performs splits in front of Juncker!
PM May revealed everything in her 'Backstop' to the EU. In Brussels she performed a huge 'splits' in front of EU top brass. However, her 'backstop' remained closed so they told her to go to 'Hell!'
written by unknown
Klopp claims he is sane after all!
Liverpool manager, Klopp, has attempted to convince UK tabloids he is really sane, and, for the first time in tabloid history, they told the truth; he is a total Prussian Nutter!
written by unknown
What Crawls Out?
Jeff Bezos says, “I prefer to stand up, roll this log over, and see what crawls out.”
Cherchez la femme.
written by K.C. Bell, 09 February 2019
Jared Kushner and Trump Sons Are Working on a New Gig "Just in Case"
"Everyone says that we should go on the road as a Three Stooges tribute act, so maybe," said Eric.
written by Al N., 13 February 2019
Putin Offers Trump Sanctuary If He's Deposed
"I'm saving a nice little apartment for him and the kids in this swell spot in Siberia!" said Putin.
written by Al N., 13 February 2019
New Gluten-Free Bible Popular with Both Christian and Jewish Dieters
Christians like that the bread in Feeding the Multitudes was Gluten-Free; Jewish the G-F Unleavened.
written by Al N., 14 February 2019
Putin to Meet With Amazon's Jeff Bezos
Trump said that he didn't care Putin was meeting with his foe, and then put his fist thru a window.
written by Al N., 15 February 2019
Trump Doesn't Know How to Issue a State of Emergency and Accidently Declares Martial Law
When he found out his mistake, he immediately tried to correct it by outlawing the Democratic Party.
written by Al N., 15 February 2019
The Physics of Beto O'Rourke Explained
Beto O'Rourke demonstrates an instance of random kinesis in tandem with incoherent sound emissions and methane exudations in a political blackhole.
Sir Aizak Neuron
written by Trinculoman, 15 February 2019
Eric Trump Accidently Blurts Out the Real Reason for Trump Declaring a National Emergency
"Daddy was mad at all the attention the Virginia politicians were getting so he did what he had to!"
written by Al N., 17 February 2019
Scientists Warn Against Another North Korea-United States Summit Due to Trump's Weight Gain
Scientists are afraid that when Trump and Kim Jong-Un meet again, it could alter the Earth's orbit.
written by Al N., 17 February 2019
Trump is Attempting to Get Veterans and Jewish Leaders to Contribute to the Wall
Trump told the veterans they can put names on the Wall like the Vietnam Wall. Jewish? Wailing Wall!!
written by Al N., 18 February 2019
Daily Star reveals secret behind their popularity!
Bums, boobs, sex scandals and VIP garbage are not the secret behind the Daily Star's UK popularity! They revealed their secret: Star reporters are aged between 6 and 13, and write kids fairy porkies!
written by unknown
Patriots Owner Robert Kraft Claims He Was Set Up With Prostitutes
"They said there was a top college star behind the door, but when I opened the door it was uh, uh...
written by Al N., 22 February 2019
Persistence
Headline on my ISP: “Boeheim to coach Syracuse vs. No. 1 Duke after fatal crash.”
That’s what I call persistence.
written by Matt Birkenhauer, 22 February 2019
Now There's A New Official Award Category at the Oscars
Supplanting the out-of-date one for Achievement in Film Directing is the new category for Solamente Directors Cinematecas Mexicanos---all gringos need not apply.
written by Trinculoman, 25 February 2019
