Young woman has sex with ghost cow in a caravan
Wait, what? Yes you read that right. What is this world coming to eh?
The cow did not want to be named for obvious reasons and has since fled to Brazil, where he works in a mincing factory
written by Matt Brown, 07 January 2014
Bigfoot Hunter May Take Alleged Sasquatch Corpse On Tour
Rick Dyer, a professional Bigfoot Hunter, has offered what he says is photographic proof of a Sasquatch he killed by planting a fungus between it's toes while it slept.
written by Bureau, 07 January 2014
Suspect Allegedly Caught Coaching How to Fake Depression
Police say the coaching included onion wedge in hanky, sticking pin in hip while talking to judge, How to say "I wanna die!" "There's just nothing to live for!' and "I hope I remember where gun hide!"
written by Bureau, 07 January 2014
PHOTOS: Scenes From the Deep Freeze Enveloping the US
These photos are amazing. Hold on for a minute. Just hang in there. Any time now. Whoops whole grid just went down. Boy, you really missed it this time.
written by Bureau, 07 January 2014
True Facts From Snoops #268
According to Snoops: The old Indian that cried in those old commercials about ecology, was the uncle by marriage to Republican leader John Boehner!
written by Bureau, 07 January 2014
True Facts From Snoops #160
According to Snoops: The common black bear is the only animal that will try to stop a forest fire while all the other animals are hauling ass out of the woods!
written by Bureau, 07 January 2014
True Facts From Snoops #176
According to Snoops: There has never been a horse by the name of "Chester" running in the Kentucky Derby!
written by Bureau, 07 January 2014
True Facts From Snoops #169
According to Snoops: Emeril Lagasse blew it when he attempted to make a Southern dish using hog testicles, when he referred to them as "mountain lobsters".
written by Bureau, 07 January 2014
Gatwick Airport Boss Apologises Over Christmas Eve Chaos
'The airport's poor performance was all due to chaos,' he told reporters. 'Chaos Theory confirms that all that bloody weather was caused by butterflies flapping their wings in Australia.'
written by Swan Morrison, 07 January 2014
United States Freezing in Winter Cold
North Korea's Kim claims that his country has invented the Polar Vortex!
written by Bureau, 07 January 2014
Man who lost 130 pounds surprise his parents
"Joe? What happened? You wouldn't weigh 90 pounds soaking wet! You've been around that Richard Simmons man again, haven't you Lad?"
written by Bureau, 07 January 2014
TIME Mag blamed 'polar vortex' on 'global cooling' in 1974.
Better fire back up those closing coal burners or the grid is going down!
written by Bureau, 07 January 2014
A Man's Fantasy!
John Doe (not real name) of Memphis admits that he often fantasizes about booting house cat through the goal posts every time he sees it peeing outside box.
written by Bureau, 07 January 2014
Hardest thing to learn as an ambassador?
Most former American Ambassadors will tell you that the hardest thing to learn is fart Protocol in each nation. (You have committed a Poo Faux, Ms. Ambassador).
written by Bureau, 07 January 2014
Logan, Kentucky The First!
Logan, Kentucky is the nations first state to make it legal to get high by licking the back of a certain toad.
written by Bureau, 07 January 2014
True Facts From Snoops #551
According to Snoops: In some parts of East Tennessee, men who can cross one eye only pretty well have their choice of women.
written by Bureau, 07 January 2014
True Facts From Snoops #863
According to Snoops: Tiger Woods the golf great cannot play croquet. Somehow he always forgets and launches his ball 200 yards.
written by Bureau, 07 January 2014
Tourism down all over Mexico
May bring back public floggings, hangings! "Bring a picnic for a fun day", ads beginning to appear.
written by Bureau, 07 January 2014
Young People Shaving Their Heads The In-Thing!
Old guys at park say they have been out of style with early baldness and now implants laughed at all over again.
written by Bureau, 07 January 2014
Lee Greenwood's Song Not Selling!
"Proud to be A Frozen American" stuck at number 198 in top 200.
written by Bureau, 07 January 2014
Another ABC Annoucement
Champion marries another man. Robin Roberts says she's gay and today, Diane Sawyer revealed that she is a druid.
written by Bureau, 07 January 2014
TV Audience Tired of Hearing About Obama Playing Golf
We're averaging a temperature of 13-degrees all over the U.S. and they're talking about that birdie he made in Hawaii.
written by Bureau, 07 January 2014
Guy Just Back From Colorado Hits Big Pay on Slots
"Surprised? I thought I was voting for Hillary for President!"
written by Bureau, 07 January 2014
Must Be A Record!
300-pound man on Bunny Slope at Ski resort wipes out 47 trainees on his first trip. "He was rolling into a big snowball when he got me", says one victim.
written by Bureau, 07 January 2014
Man in Ski Mask Holds Up Ski Lodge Cashier
"I don't think he was too bright but I couldn't take a chance", says cashier. "He left with his skis still on."
written by Bureau, 07 January 2014
'Polar' freeze grips United States, disrupting travel, business
Number of people with asses in a sling, knotheads!
written by Bureau, 07 January 2014
Pope set to name cardinals to reflect his vision of the Church
After that he will have a serious meeting with the peckerwoods!
written by Bureau, 07 January 2014
Snowden has more U.S.-Israel secrets to expose:
"Richard Nixon once kissed Golda Meir on the lips."
written by Bureau, 07 January 2014
So Cold People Doing Strange Things
"My wife wore double pajama's and a hoodie to bed last night. At least I think it was my wife."
written by Bureau, 07 January 2014
Is Iran the United States' new best friend in the Middle East?
If Iran is our best friend, what are our enemies like?
written by Bureau, 07 January 2014
Sandusky tries to get his Penn St. pension back
He's lucky that he still has his penis if he had gotten caught by a parent.
written by Bureau, 07 January 2014
Robin Roberts Shares First Photo of Her Girlfriend
She tells audience that John will wed her soon. "He's gay and so am I, so we need to go to one of those states where it is legal."
written by Bureau, 07 January 2014
Drug Dealer Under House Arrest Begs for Jail to Escape Nagging Wife.
I had to sell drugs to have enough money to purchase drugs to deal with the wife!
written by Bureau, 07 January 2014
STUDY: Moms Who Drink Wine While Pregnant Have Better Behaved Kids.
Just as long as you put a dab in their milk daily!
written by Bureau, 07 January 2014
UFO 'forced pilot to duck'.
"I apologize for what happened. It was a reflex action. Can the AFLAC company use another duck?"
written by Bureau, 07 January 2014
Supreme Court stays gay marriage in Utah.
Are we living in sin or not?, asks one couple. Judge: That's like asking if I'm still beating my wife?"
written by Bureau, 07 January 2014
HHS Uses Cold Weather to Push Obamacare.
Refuses to discuss Global Warming. Many have teeth chattering so bad they can't talk to those answering calls.
written by Bureau, 07 January 2014
Federal Judge Overturns Chicago's Ban On Gun Sales.
"Considering the rabble we see in here every day, a person needs to be armed!"
written by Bureau, 07 January 2014
Climate Change Groups Seek New Leadership as Movement Loses Steam.
May we suggest, Punxsutawney Phil. He has a lot better record.
written by Bureau, 07 January 2014
Al Sharpton dons white lab coat, explains global warming.
I guess if your name is Al, you can't see the evidence outside your frosted window.
written by Bureau, 07 January 2014
Osborne's challenge
I can be nastier than you IDS and I've got more power.
written by j.w., 07 January 2014
Is today really the most depressing day of the year?
I certainly hope so. Because now it is over, the wife can tell where she hid the shotgun!
written by Bureau, 07 January 2014
Rodman, ex-NBAers head to N. Korea
Wonder if they know that losers are fed to the dogs?
written by Bureau, 07 January 2014
'It's too darn cold': Historic freeze brings rare danger warning
"Unless you have your heart set on becoming a eunuch, I'd stay indoors as long as I could", say health authorities.
written by Bureau, 07 January 2014
In a major turnaround from past decades, a majority of Americans support legalizing marijuana
But still hasn't given permission to grow hemp that would put thousands of people to work!
written by Bureau, 07 January 2014
Sente Confirm Yellen as Fed Chairwoman
"I'm so gellin' I'm like Magellan", says new Chairwoman, Yellen!
written by Bureau, 07 January 2014
