Comedian Natasha Leggero Says Sphagetios Only Food Old Vets Can Eat #3
Wonder what you would be eating right now if we had lost that war, young lady!
written by Bureau, 04 January 2014
Comedian Natasha Leggero Says Spaghetios Only Food Old Vets Can Eat #2
"Just don't lose that job. We vets need that social security and Medicare dollars keep coming in!"
written by Bureau, 04 January 2014
Comedian Natasha Leggero Says Sphagetios Only Food Old Vets Can Eat
While, on the other hand, you have good teeth and it will be easy for you to eat that fur hat.
written by Bureau, 04 January 2014
Under Pope's: Orders Rise of exorcists in Catholic Church.
"Just trying to keep everyone's spirits up", says Pope Francis!
written by Bureau, 04 January 2014
Rise of exorcists in Catholic Church.
Revelation sends a lot of politicians heads to spinning!
written by Bureau, 04 January 2014
MSNBC Host Cries During On-Air Apology to Romney Family.
Later, onion found in handkerchief. This one is probably headed for SNL Spoof!
written by Bureau, 04 January 2014
Romanian immigrants purchase Traflager Square!
Trafalger Square now belongs to a group of Romanian immigrants after they purchased it with the money they received from the social services and there was enough to send some home too!
written by unknown
Get set for the coldest air in 20 years #5
It is so cold that our words froze in midair and we had to put them in boiling water to thaw them so we hear what we were talking about.
written by Bureau, 04 January 2014
Get set for the coldest air in 20 years #4
It's so cold that the city police don't even have to yell, "Freeze!"
written by Bureau, 04 January 2014
Get Set For Coldest Air In 20 Years
It's so cold in Northeast that a city flasher was caught *describing* himself naked to women.
written by Bureau, 04 January 2014
Get set for coldest air in 20 years
It is so cold in Minnesota that it's froze the nuts off the bridge between Duluth and Superior, Wisconsin.
written by Bureau, 04 January 2014
Get set for coldest air in 20 years
Ted Williams body out looking for his head at Cryonics center in the Big Freeze!
written by Bureau, 04 January 2014
Erdogan denounces 'plot' against Turkey's future
"That bird is not going to wind up on somebody's dinner table!"
written by Bureau, 04 January 2014
Intellectually disabled group allegedly asked to leave McDonald's
Intellectually group goes back to their intellectually challenged home in Arkansas.
written by Bureau, 04 January 2014
Michelle Obama Off to Haiti
She's there to learn how to give Danish Prime Minister the evil eye!
written by Bureau, 04 January 2014
Chinese ship used in Antarctic rescue stuck in ice
Rescue helicopter trying to grab another crew now frozen in the air.
written by Bureau, 04 January 2014
Chicago breaks 96-year-old snow record!
"Wonder what it would have been without global warming?", is favorite line at bars and malls.
written by Bureau, 04 January 2014
Wales's top attractions 2013
1) Raised peat mire near Borth.
2) Dylan Thomas's toilet
3) Rain
4) Tatacre Beach
5) Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwyll-llantysiliogogogoch village
6) Slates on sides of houses.
written by Auntie Jean, 04 January 2014
Colorado Helping Surrounding States
Patrol Cops say they have issued hundreds of tickets to drivers leaving Colorado to get home.
written by Bureau, 04 January 2014
Man's blood alcohol content too high for police to measure
"He was driving without a seatbelt and sitting a good two inches above his front seat", says officer.
written by Bureau, 04 January 2014
Denver Looking For New Name
Most say they are tired of the name "Broncos". Number one favorite: The Denver Doobees.
written by Bureau, 04 January 2014
We Won't Play There
Opposing football teams say they will not play Denver if whole crowd high on pot and laughing all through the whole game.
written by Bureau, 04 January 2014
San Francisco Request Turned Down
A request that their players could use ice skates at Green Bay game has been turned down.
written by Bureau, 04 January 2014
Tony Romo Not To Play Today For Cowboys
Coach says he is just making the excuse that the Cowboys won't be in the Playoffs.
written by Bureau, 04 January 2014
Historic freeze in Northeast at -70 WCF.
One whole police squad getting young kids tongues off cold metal services, dogs from hydrants.
written by Bureau, 04 January 2014
True Facts From Snoops #987
According to Snoops: One of Sam Walton's (of Walmart fame) nephews, his brother's John's sons was actually called "John Boy" Walton.
written by Bureau, 04 January 2014
True Facts From Snoops #907
According to Snoops: Elephants do not make good house pets. Sure, they're cute when small but they soon get really big.
written by Bureau, 04 January 2014
True Facts From Snoops #802
According to Snoops: Nine out of Ten Certified Public Accountants hate the name "Bean Counter".
written by Bureau, 04 January 2014
True Facts From Snoops #813
According to Snoops: Ringo always wanted Apple Records to be called "Nipple Records" but was outvoted.
written by Bureau, 04 January 2014
Ipod rice trick works due to Chinese "rice fairies"
The "Putting a broken iPod in a bag with some rice" repair works due to "magic rice fairies", Stephen Hawking said yesterday. "It's not due to hungry Chinese assembly line workers fixing it."
written by Auntie Jean, 04 January 2014
WWII Bomb Found in Germany
Of all places to find an old WWII bomb, in Germany. You just never know about this weird old world.
written by Bureau, 04 January 2014
Weather Gang: An astonishing, dangerous cold snap is about to descend on the U.S.
Could determine the ending of half the NFL Play-Off Games!
written by Bureau, 04 January 2014
World Briefing Middle East: Israel: Interceptor Missile Passes Test
Can knock nuke missile out of the air but has no idea where fallout will come down.
written by Bureau, 04 January 2014
Obama proposes new gun rules for mentally ill
Then declares 95% of Americans are mentally ill.
written by Bureau, 04 January 2014
DEL TACO launches 150-calorie turkey tacos.
Taste just like you thought they would! Perhaps a bit worse.
written by Bureau, 04 January 2014
REPORT: Pentagon waived laws to keep F-35 on track with China-made parts.
I'm sure they'll work just fine, even against China.
written by Bureau, 04 January 2014
Phony cops detain, beat man.
Arrested by more fake cops who throw them in cold river.
written by Bureau, 04 January 2014
Woman gives birth at WALMART!
I was trying to get through all week for Obamacare but the baby couldn't wait another month!
written by Bureau, 04 January 2014
Rand Paul to lead class action lawsuit against Barack Obama over NSA spying.
You can tell Rand is a chip off the old block (Dad Ron Paul) or blockhead!
written by Bureau, 04 January 2014
End of Television?
Tiny 'screens' sit directly on users' eyeballs. With the right adjustment you can see yourself driving down the road, running into another eyeballer!
written by Bureau, 04 January 2014
PNC Bank Says 'Glitch' Causing 'Strange Charges,' Double Mortgage Payments in Customers' Accounts.
President claims that it looks like Obamacare hacking is catching on.
written by Bureau, 04 January 2014
NYC Man sees car snow-jacked while he was cleaning it off!
Witness says neighbor was finishing up with a broom and the car just drove away!
written by Bureau, 04 January 2014
ANTARCTIC Ice Shelf Melt Lowest Ever Recorded!
Al Gore : Shut up! Shut Up1 Shut Up!
written by Bureau, 04 January 2014
Miley Cyrus Says After Being the Daughter of the Guy Who Did Achy Breaky Heart, Nothing Could Embarass Her
Miley Cyrus, perpetrator of twerking, nudity, and tongue lapping, says that nothing could ever embarrass her after growing up as the daughter of the guy who sang Achy Breaky Heart, Billy Ray Cyrus.
written by Al N., 04 January 2014
