Blair on Middle East Peace
Lock up all the journalists and you will get peace!
written by j.w., 31 January 2014
Cameron's Dredging
How to deal with mud so it doesn't get thrown at you
written by j.w., 31 January 2014
Prince Charles hits out at climate change deniers and brands them the 'headless chicken brigade'
As opposed to "The Chicken Little-The Globe Warming Is Coming Group".
written by Bureau, 31 January 2014
Boy, six, suspended from school for four days after teachers found a packet of Mini Cheddars in his lunchbox
Whole school may bring junk just to get off a few days.
written by Bureau, 31 January 2014
'We laugh at naked bodies and take snow globes from children'
U.S. Agent confesses to what being with airport security is like.
written by Bureau, 31 January 2014
'Homeland Security' seizes $21.6 million in fake merchandise, arrests 50.
Officers got suspicious when they saw a kid wearing a Seattle "Seahorse" helmet!
written by Bureau, 31 January 2014
NJ mayor hosting Super Bowl not invited to game.
Are you kidding? I'm no crazy. There must be a million nutjobs in NYC and NJ besides any terrorists.
written by Bureau, 31 January 2014
Suspicious Powder Mailed to Hotels Near METLIFE Stadium; Another Sent To Giuliani
In Russia Putin will not discuss if they have been receiving powdered envelopes either.
written by Bureau, 31 January 2014
Hidden snipers deployed in stadium.
They have been practicing shooting footballs in flight all week.
written by Bureau, 31 January 2014
Dan Marino talks Peyton Manning, strategy in Super Bowl XLVIII match-up
"He is going to do his to win!" (And here most of us thought he would do his best to lose).
written by Bureau, 31 January 2014
Dan Marino talks Peyton Manning, strategy in Super Bowl XLVIII match-up
"He is going to do his to win!" (And here most of us thought he would do his best to lose).
written by Bureau, 31 January 2014
Russian construction insider says Sochi Games money used for payoffs, kickbacks
I wouldn't sit in some of those bleachers for anything.
written by Bureau, 31 January 2014
Military jets drilled over NYC at night for Super Bowl
Russia says that you would be safer at Olympics that at Super Bowl!
written by Bureau, 31 January 2014
Lake Mead is shrinking -- and with it Las Vegas' water supply
They need to keep the drunks out of the Mead! It's too big of a temptation.
written by Bureau, 31 January 2014
Americans aren't flocking to Sochi #2
Aren't "flocking" to the Olympics? I guess most of us have 'chickened' out!
written by Bureau, 31 January 2014
Americans aren't flocking to Sochi
"I'll stay home and watch it on television", say most. "I hope nothing happens but if it does, I'll slap myself on the back!"
written by Bureau, 31 January 2014
Mayer Nailed Yahoo Promo at Stanford Alum Fest
Marissa Mayer scored big at a recent Stanford alumni event. She nailed the greased pig riding contest in record time,screeching Yawwhooooo! as she came in.
written by Trinculoman, 31 January 2014
True Facts From Snoops #418
According to Snoops: Not only did all George Straits exes live in Texas, but not a one of them could write their names.
written by Bureau, 31 January 2014
True Facts From Snoops #490
According to Snoops: Lawrence Welk, because of his thick accent, never understood a word he was saying.
written by Bureau, 31 January 2014
True Facts From Snoops #623
According to Snoops: It is now a shunning offense for an Amish lad to tip a cow on Halloween as it might injure the cow. Instead, cows are now found wearing lots of different colored lipstick.
written by Bureau, 31 January 2014
True Facts From Snoops #383
According to Snoops: One sure way to get rid of warts is to rub a white dish rag on them and on a full moon, take a sharp knife and cut them off down to the roots!
written by Bureau, 31 January 2014
Argentinians horde US dollars, supplies amid economic turmoil.
This is really sad. They are actually hiding dollars.
written by Bureau, 31 January 2014
COPS: 18 Busted For Selling Super Bowl 'Party Packs' of Cocaine, Sex.
How do you package sex? I gotta read the news more often.
written by Bureau, 31 January 2014
REPORT: Nearly Half of America Lives Paycheck-to-Paycheck.
Other half are unemployed. Spending most of paycheck on food, fuel and gadgets.
written by Bureau, 31 January 2014
GOOGLE: Mechanical parts to replace biological human body.
Men say "Just leave in the natural brain and the dong."
written by Bureau, 31 January 2014
NASA to Make Water on Moon
You mean that after all those flights, no one took a whiz on it?
written by Bureau, 31 January 2014
Scientists discover region of brain that controls anxiety.
Also report that the least anxious city: Denver! Example: "So my house caught on fire? Those red truck guys will put it out. My stash is hidden out back. Everything's cool! Except the house ha ha ha"
written by Bureau, 31 January 2014
Norovirus Outbreak Cuts Short ANOTHER Cruise Vacation.
Many are asking: Why hasn't Stephen King written a book about this?
written by Bureau, 31 January 2014
Bags of human remains found along MI roadways.
All stripped of gold and silver jewelry, teeth.
written by Bureau, 31 January 2014
ObamaCare Favorability down 46 points since passed
"We didn't know what was in it", say those previously supportive. "We didn't know either", says congress, White House.
written by Bureau, 31 January 2014
Stocks slide on global worries.
Also, slide on two inches of snow and ice. "We had to put down hundreds after broken legs", say farmers.
written by Bureau, 31 January 2014
GOP to Obama: Let's do "Year of Action" Together!
Run the place to the ground. After all, everyone in Washington DC has gotten plenty of gold stashed away!
written by Bureau, 31 January 2014
The Super Bowl Fans Are One Hungry Bunch
Fans at this year's Super Bowl in New York City are expected to devour 22,000 hot dogs - or as Kirstie Alley would call it, a midnight snack.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 31 January 2014
Flat As Four Pancakes
TV critics are saying that the funniest Super Bowl commercial will probably be the one were NASCAR driver Danica Patrick and actress Keira Knightley compare chests to see which one is the flattest.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 31 January 2014
The President Was Hot Under The Collar
President Obama stated that if people keep criticizing his State of The Union speeches then he'll just stop making the friggin things altogether.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 31 January 2014
Bernie's Latest Financial Gambit
Madoff is back in risky finance by taking bets on how long his incarcerated ticker will last. Again, Bernie gets cash up front, but now his "investors" are adept at collecting on a "sure thing."
written by Trinculoman, 31 January 2014
Children Don't Recognize Dad's Rebuttal to President';s Speech
"You want a rebuttal? I got your old rebuttal." (Drops Pants in front of TV, Kids).
written by Bureau, 31 January 2014
True Facts From Snoops #442
According to Snoops: For many years among the lay people and workers, the Great Pyramid was called "King Khufu's Folly".
written by Bureau, 31 January 2014
True Facts From Snoops #902
According to Snoops: The witch that was killed when Dorothy's house landed on her was named "Ding Dong" by the Munchkins.
written by Bureau, 31 January 2014
True Facts From Snoops #877
According to Snoops: Post Cereals was named after their taste and fiber quality.
written by Bureau, 31 January 2014
True Facts From Snoops #235
According to Snoops: Eating Mexican food with beer will keep the mosquitoes away all day and you won't get West Nile Virus. Also, no one will get close to your fishing spot.
written by Bureau, 31 January 2014
Georgia gov. takes blame for snowstorm response
I can't dance but the wife insisted and I stubbed my toe. Anyway, apparently it was a mystic snow dance.
written by Bureau, 31 January 2014
Co-worker Comes in Wiping Feet Roughly on Mat
"Got your shoes muddy, George?" "No, I do this stomping every time I take a big crap. Like a dog. You all watch your step when you go out there. Yes Donald, my shoes were muddy."
written by Bureau, 31 January 2014
PETA after severe punishment of 5-year-old
"It was horrible!" stated PETA's Patter Jones. "He had a dozen wingless flies that he called his horseys! Those poor poor flies."
written by Bureau, 31 January 2014
