Sex Toy Christmas Gift Not A Hit
Wife mails it anonymously to hateful neighbor down the street.
written by Bureau, 30 January 2014
Man's Best Friend In Doubt
After getting up and asking him to fetch his shoes, owner finds they have been chewed to death.
written by Bureau, 30 January 2014
Missing Prisoner May Have Been Found.
After a group of investigators find his DNA in follow prisoner's stool sample.
written by Bureau, 30 January 2014
President visibly upset over ObamaCare Sign-Ups Not Paying.
Also, missing that short one-foot putt when he should have asked for a gimme!
written by Bureau, 30 January 2014
Restaurant ask man to leave after complaints
"He was just sitting over there, drinking coffee and 'picking & Grinning'. You had to look somewhere else.", says lady at table near by. "He also passed gas when going by our table."
written by Bureau, 30 January 2014
Schools Starve Students Over Money
Salt Lake City snatched 40 lunches from hungry students & threw them away because their meal cards weren't paid up. Is Feed The Children or Save the Children have to help? Nope! Mixing Church & State.
written by Bureau, 30 January 2014
Chinese rice farmers look for quick turnover in Somerset paddy fields
Chinese helicopters have created rice paddy fields all over Somerset. The genetically modified rice will be harvested by a Chinese satellite with a tractor beam when it is ready.
written by Auntie Jean, 30 January 2014
50th Anniversary of Beatles on Ed Sullivan #2
Typical remark of Baby Boomer who saw them: "It's finally happened. I'm officially older than dirt!"
written by Bureau, 30 January 2014
50th Anniversary of Beatles on Ed Sullivan
Girls called them "Moptops", boys called them "Moe Howard" tops. But either way, they were tops!
written by Bureau, 30 January 2014
Presidential ratings have Obama up .01%
Pulls back in front of Millard Fillmore and closing in on James Buchanan.
written by Bureau, 30 January 2014
Bieber Back At Number One
Retakes lead from Miley Cyrus getting into the press!
written by Bureau, 30 January 2014
FBI Checking Comedian/Golfer
He's been accused of having sport with the President.
written by Bureau, 30 January 2014
True Facts From Snoops #822
According to Snoops: Having a "shot" of whiskey got its name from people trying to find old guy's whisky-making still back in the East Kentucky Mountains. Never did. Many tried & disappeared.
written by Bureau, 30 January 2014
Hundreds of snakes found in home
Man being led away by police officers: "I was trying to raise them right."
written by Bureau, 30 January 2014
Substitute Teacher Reissues Threat
"I don't want to have to tell you this again." "I've just about had it!" "Do you want to make me come back there?", to empty room as kids run up and down the halls!
written by Bureau, 30 January 2014
Bully on School Bus Puts Up Sign
"No One Sits Behind Me! No One Sits Beside Me! Farters Are Martyrs!"
written by Bureau, 30 January 2014
Air Guitarists Makes Regular Stop!
"Yes, I know. You want 24 doughnut holes and a large coffee!"
written by Bureau, 30 January 2014
Trucker Checked at Truckstop
'What's in the gallon jug down there on the floorboard?" "Piss, Sir!"
written by Bureau, 30 January 2014
Place Your Best Bid Today
Syria's Assad trying to sell chemical weapons on eBay turned down once again.
written by Bureau, 30 January 2014
Psychic Cat in Canada!
A cat in a nursing home in Canada, which always went to the room of the next person to die, was caught by a hidden camera last night placing rat poison in their nutrical!
written by Bureau, 30 January 2014
True Facts From Snoops #271
According to Snoops: The old game of "Tic Tac Toe" was named after a nail fungus!
written by Bureau, 30 January 2014
True Facts From Snoops #660
According to Snoops: Neil Armstrong admitted that he and two fellow astronauts lowered their outfits and "Earthed" our planet on the way to the moon.
written by Bureau, 30 January 2014
True Facts From Snoops #511
According to Snoops: Combining a bottle of Pepsi Cola with green molded hot dogs can actually make you sick. Confirmed!
written by Bureau, 30 January 2014
True Facts From Snoops #923
According to Snoops: Scientists say that 'Bubble Yummy' does not contain spider eggs as rumored. "All we found were a few rat hairs."
written by Bureau, 30 January 2014
Cop Arresting Man Missing His Eyebrows
A Cleveland, Tennessee man who was taking a Breathalyzer test after being stopped for DUI, blows up analyzer! Both drunk and cop lose their eyebrows!
written by Bureau, 30 January 2014
True Facts From Snoops #780
According to Snoops: Hostess Cupcakes do not have indefinite shelf life. "20 years at the most", says CEO.
written by Bureau, 30 January 2014
Super Bowl: There will be snipers in the stands!
So I'd be careful with those end zone dances. Sniper might be pulling for the other team.
written by Bureau, 30 January 2014
Boston Tops List for Doctor Wait Times with 72 Days.
But you may move up pretty fast as so many die while they are waiting. Just grit your teeth and say "I will not die, I will not die!"
written by Bureau, 30 January 2014
Bieber turns himself in to police
"Oh he slipped out a uniform and arrested half a dozen people. One of the other officers...I mean, another officer. Bieber wasn't an officer, you see..we arrested Justin Bieber! I got no more to say."
written by Bureau, 30 January 2014
50 years since The Beatles on 'Ed Sullivan'
A million baby boomers united in saying, "That can't be!"
written by Bureau, 30 January 2014
Russia IDs suicide bombers, arrests alleged accomplices
Putin rids himself of those criticising him, as suicide bombers had driver's license ID saying: Profession: Suicide Bomber.
written by Bureau, 30 January 2014
Snowden claims NSA engaged in industrial espionage #2
Also, Carrie Jean is in love with her seventh grade teacher, Mr. Dougherty. Bobby Layne was always the teacher's pet.
written by Bureau, 30 January 2014
Snowden claims NSA engaged in industrial espionage
Also, neighbor broke smoking laws every day and a car ran over a poor old possum.
written by Bureau, 30 January 2014
Snow, ice send South's flagship city reeling
Atlanta had one big vehicle jam in the latest winter event they have named "Sherman". Hundreds of people left cars & walked to any shelter they could find. Others stay in their cars. Baby born is OK!
written by Bureau, 30 January 2014
Bieber surrenders to police over alleged attack on limo driver.
Beiber seems to be able to keep police on the run as he leaves a trial of arrest warrants behind him.
written by Bureau, 30 January 2014
POLL: Huckabee leads 2016 GOP hopefuls.
Which poll? One just reported that it is Palin. Someone needs to do a poll about polls.
written by Bureau, 30 January 2014
POLL: Palin has highest favorables among GOP primary voters...
But not as a politician!
written by Bureau, 30 January 2014
UPDATE: South paralyzed by 2 inches of snow.
"I've had enough of this. I'm moving up north", says guy from Atlanta!
written by Bureau, 30 January 2014
Buchanan: Push for Immigration Reform Will Spell End of Boehner's Speakership.
"He'll have the whole GOP crying before long!"
written by Bureau, 30 January 2014
Justin Bieber Toronto Arrest Breaks Own Record for Police Altercations
Pop star thug Justin Bieber broke his own arrest record with an arrest in Toronto for assault. He has recently enhanced the record with altercations in California (vandalism) and Florida (DUI).
written by Al N., 30 January 2014
Teacherless Classrooms Obama's Newest Money Saving Idea
President Obama advocated teacherless classrooms in a speech to Apple Execs."Nobody listens to teachers anymore.They're too busy texting. We should use those thousands of dollars for healthcare!"
written by Wumf, 30 January 2014
New Christmas Study Out!
Study: 95% of all Christmas Gifts Showed Trace Amounts of Reindeer Poop! Beard hair!
written by Bureau, 30 January 2014
Mall Santa on Probation
"As none of the kids were actually hurt but you are banned from being a Santa for any malls in Texas", ordered judge. "I couldn't believe you tried to sit in their laps."
written by Bureau, 30 January 2014
School Subjects Tie
School: Kennedy Assassination, The Old North Church Tie as Favorite U.S. History Test Answers!
written by Bureau, 30 January 2014
Girl Scouts Battle Weight Watchers
Thirty injured mostly the scouts as heavy women sit on them!
written by Bureau, 30 January 2014
Gang up to no good
In breaking news, a gang of field mice have overtaken the village of Thursby in England's north. The gang have asked for a ransom of 3000 pounds of cheese in exchange for the villagers' lives. Gosh!
written by whatinthe world, 30 January 2014
