Flatulent cows start fire at dairy farm.
SOCO on the scene says that cow that struck the match a direct descendant of Mrs. O'Leary's cow in Chicago fire in 1870s!
written by Bureau, 28 January 2014
Feds shut NJ slaughterhouse over calf treatment.
Hear that PETA! If you want to bug people go bug these!
written by Bureau, 28 January 2014
New 'R.I.P.' bullet hailed as 'one-shot man-stopper'.
Even if you catch him on the big toe, the rest will take off the leg.
written by Bureau, 28 January 2014
Futuristic Bra Only Opens For 'True Love'.
Or you can fake it if you really try. It's not as smart as company thinks.
written by Bureau, 28 January 2014
Preparations include air defense exercise at Super Bowl
Half time show cancelled. Instead, everyone will practice duck and cover plus leave and come back in in a peaceful manner.
written by Bureau, 28 January 2014
NHL May 'Reevaluate' Sending Players To Sochi.
"We don't want our Hockey players in a world of shit!", say Commissioner.
written by Bureau, 28 January 2014
Rand Paul: Hillary 'Big Proponent of Surveillance State'.
"She's had somebody on Monica Lewinsky's tail for the past ten years!"
written by Bureau, 28 January 2014
Exorcist dismisses increasingly popular SKYPE exorcisms as 'worthless'.#3
"Quit listening to all that junk and catch me with a real audience on my 1AM Infomercial!"
written by Bureau, 28 January 2014
Exorcist dismisses increasingly popular SKYPE exorcisms as 'worthless'.
"They wouldn't now Wormwood from Captain Howdy!"
written by Bureau, 28 January 2014
Exorcist dismisses increasingly popular SKYPE exorcisms as 'worthless'.
"Pshaw! Amateurs will wind up quoting Manson and blowing pea soup!"
written by Bureau, 28 January 2014
True Facts From Snoops #889
According to Snoops: Due to early minting errors and piece of printer falling off, some 1914 Buffalo Nickels have huge dongs.
written by Bureau, 28 January 2014
True Facts From Snoops #679
According to Snoops: King Birdinhand of Spain accidentally poisoned all his family and friends and wound up on the throne of Spain on this day in 1366.
written by Bureau, 28 January 2014
True Facts From Snoops #942
According to Snoops: If you fold a dollar bill in the right way, it makes George Washington look exactly like Madonna.
written by Bureau, 28 January 2014
True Facts From Snoops #372
According to Snoops: Mr. Pibbs was named after the employee who fell in the big vat and drowned in it.
written by Bureau, 28 January 2014
True Facts From Snoops #844
According to Snoops: Kelloggs Corn Flakes add just a tiny bit of nicotine to their flakes that you cannot taste because of sugery cover up. So that's why you want to eat them all the time.
written by Bureau, 28 January 2014
Gassy German cows blamed for barn explosion; 1 cow lightly injured
She was probably the very one who lit the match", says disgusted farmer!
written by Bureau, 28 January 2014
Authorities work to identify man found decapitated in Wyoming
"We have already checked most of our county's headquarters!"
written by Bureau, 28 January 2014
Government Deals With the Floods
Kiss the baby and you will stop the floods of tears.
written by j.w., 28 January 2014
JITTERS: Popped Tire Causes Explosion Scare In Manhattan.
"I crapped in my pants", stated one old man near by. George over there sleeping it off on...under the bench never moved. I gotta find out what he drunk. Pardon while I shake my leg."
written by Bureau, 28 January 2014
'Homeland Security' to X-ray all food and drinks at Super Bowl.
"That should really increase the flavor", says guy with ticket. Why not let us open it up and show them?"
written by Bureau, 28 January 2014
Flatulent cows start fire at dairy farm. #2
Neighborhood cows say they herd it go off! "They sure raised quite a stink", states Elsie. "I think it's all just a big tail", replies Ferdinand.
written by Bureau, 28 January 2014
Flatulent cows start fire at dairy farm.
Farts hit fireman in the face while attempting to hose fire. Retreated and came back with masks. Cows herded out of danger.
written by Bureau, 28 January 2014
CLAIM: Earth's Magnetic Field Weakening.
Lots of panicking going on in rural areas with people screaming and then asking, "Now, how does that scare us?" and go back to screaming!
written by Bureau, 28 January 2014
CNN apologizes profusely after airing video of Hillary laughing. #3
FOX follows it up with her puffing on a reefer!
written by Bureau, 28 January 2014
Cops of the Future!
Smart Bullets, Crowd-Stun Cannons, Crime Prediction, robots to enter shooting areas first taking pics, other crime scenes etc.
written by Bureau, 28 January 2014
Denver County Fair to hold joint-rolling contest.
Also contest for "Colorado's Biggest Idiot" as competitors take stage after three reefers.
written by Bureau, 28 January 2014
John Denver Makes Comeback Years After Death
"Rocky Mountain High (in Colorado)" in the top ten once again. Also huge numbers of Disney's Fantasia selling.
written by Bureau, 28 January 2014
Frito-Lays Pull Machines from Colorado!
We were selling a lot but machines all broken into!
written by Bureau, 28 January 2014
DEA Chief Rips Obama's Remarks.
Pot is NOT the same as alcohol! Most people have a glass of wine for dinner, not smoking a couple of joints and turning over snack machines.
written by Bureau, 28 January 2014
White House Deletes Blog Post Warning Against Marijuana Legalization.
Also deletes blog on President never in Office that's been there since Bush Presidency.
written by Bureau, 28 January 2014
Supreme Court Calls Recess!
After Ginsburg lays fart on Judge Thomas, who returns the flavor.
written by Bureau, 28 January 2014
Snowden Threatens to Reveal Bill Clinton Pics if Hillary Runs
"I got a whole shoebox full. Can I come home now?"
written by Bureau, 28 January 2014
CNN apologizes profusely after airing video of Hillary laughing.#2
After seeing video of Monica Lewinsky bust butt falling on ice, caught by NSA hidden camera.
written by Bureau, 28 January 2014
CNN apologizes profusely after airing video of Hillary laughing.
This was after Bill's latest girlfriend's arrest.
written by Bureau, 28 January 2014
Feds Look at Ways to Prevent Spying -- on Spying!
"Well you guys started it", says guy arrested this morning. "I sent the rest to Snowden."
written by Bureau, 28 January 2014
Santa Claus May Release More Info Than Snowden
"Either start leaving out more cookies and milk or I release the whole wad on Naughty List!"
written by Bureau, 28 January 2014
Snowden Docs Reveal Spies Snooped on YOUTUBEFACEBOOK.
Also spied on Uncle Fred pissing on passed out neighbor. He's arrested.
written by Bureau, 28 January 2014
Woman gives birth in own driveway in -10 degree temperatures.
Baby tries to climb back inside where it was warm!
written by Bureau, 28 January 2014
Brutal cold shuts schools, delays travel.
Fire departments out rescuing those with tongues stuck to poles. "Same people who touch 'Do Not Touch' signs on wet paint", says Rescue worker getting kid's tongue off flagpole!
written by Bureau, 28 January 2014
Pete Seeger dead at 94!
"We're still "Knee-Deep in the muddy water and the old fool says Push On!" "To Everything There is A Season".
written by Bureau, 28 January 2014
China Plans Dealing With Smog!
No, not cleaning up the air. They will begin building living quarters above the factories so no one has to travel outside.
written by Bureau, 28 January 2014
China Admits Smog is Bad!
The smog today in China was so bad that the city of......well you can't see what city it is, but it was bad.
written by Bureau, 28 January 2014
Smog Really thick in China
Each worker to have their own private seeing-eye cat to help them get to work at the right factory.
written by Bureau, 28 January 2014
Chinese laborers threaten to strike
Unless they get an hour at lunch to play on the playground outside, they will walk out...even if paddled and sent to bed without supper.
written by Bureau, 28 January 2014
New Malady Hits Top Ten Charts
The Top ten causes of death was rocked in the last month by BOREDOM! "Lots of people die of boredom every year but once the Holiday season was over this year, Death from Boredom hit at #7!"
written by Bureau, 28 January 2014
Fortune Teller Arrested
New Jersey Fortune teller who gets rid of curses is charged by bullfrog.
written by Bureau, 28 January 2014
