Land Rover Curiosity Kills The Cat
Cat must have slipped aboard. Well, I guess it's true on Mars as it is here.
written by Bureau, 25 January 2014
Violence mars third anniversary of Egypt uprising
We should have been expecting that", says police chief. "But there's so many uprisings, you forget their anniversary."
written by Bureau, 25 January 2014
Surfing biggest waves in a decade
Surfer rides high wave all the way to street beyond beach. "I was hoping for the hotel lobby!"
written by Bureau, 25 January 2014
Court system hit with cyberattack #2
Judge ordered man who mooned three people to be poisoned, wrists slashed, set on fire and dropped off the Chrysler Building.
written by Bureau, 25 January 2014
Court system hit with cyberattack
"We need to stop this childish behavior", says Judge. "Where's Bieber" Latest hack: Amish Man Convicted of using modern tools, ordered shunned for life!
written by Bureau, 25 January 2014
True Facts From Snoops #331
According to Snoops: There has never been a Pope Go D'Weasel!
written by Bureau, 25 January 2014
True Facts From Snoops #345
According to Snoops: The all-time favorite flavor of life-saver in the South is 'Persimmon'.
written by Bureau, 25 January 2014
True Facts From Snoops #781
According to Snoops: There has never been a city named after a dung beetle!
written by Bureau, 25 January 2014
True Facts From Snoops #209
According to Snoops: The reason Agatha Christie named her mystery books after nursery rhymes (Hickory, Dickory Doc) was that her heroes Miss Marple & Hercule Poirot couldn't possibly be real people.
written by Bureau, 25 January 2014
Rat Meat Dressed as Lamb Scare in China
While "Mutton dressed as Lamb" common in England!
written by Bureau, 25 January 2014
True Facts From Snoops #912
According to Snoops: The first woodpeckers were called Treepeckers until the Puritans changed it.
written by Bureau, 25 January 2014
True Facts From Snoops #782
According to Snoops: Before starting Walmart, Sam Walton nearly went broke creating "Lemonade Mart".
written by Bureau, 25 January 2014
True Facts From Snoops #501
According to Snoops: Ex-NFL star "Mean" Joe Greene actual first name was Bobby.
written by Bureau, 25 January 2014
True Facts From Snoops #778
According to Snoops: You should never go swimming until at least an hour after a meal. Not doing so will cause fish to go after the not quite digested meal & you could choke on a cod.
written by Bureau, 25 January 2014
Ford Caught in Illegal Testings
The Ford Automobile Company has admitted to using illegal aliens to test airbag safety in some of their models.
written by Bureau, 25 January 2014
Obama backpedals on marijuana
Told by bodyguards that you're supposed to go forward. Sober up!
written by Bureau, 25 January 2014
Why You Should Try Out a Home Before You Buy It
Be sure to take it out and give it a good test drive!
written by Bureau, 25 January 2014
Texas Needs Dead Incubators
Texas to Harvest Brain-dead Women as Incubators. Says Gov. Rick Perry, "It's a way for the family of the deceased to help new life grow from a persistent vegetative state. It's win-win!"
written by Matt Birkenhauer, 25 January 2014
Plot Sounded Good When We Read The Joke
Sober decoy leaves pub so that drunks can slip away home after cops chase him. Gets arrested for fraud. Drunk friends have ten wrecks before reaching house. Sue decoy.
written by Bureau, 25 January 2014
18th-century oil painting pierced by champagne cork.
"There goes the celebration. You would have thought he would have aimed a different way", says guest.
written by Bureau, 25 January 2014
BUSTIN BIEBER: Crazed Fans Camp Outside South Beach Mansion For Hours.
Many of them chanting, "Do Something Silly!!"
written by Bureau, 25 January 2014
NOONAN: No one's listening to Obama now.
"Want proof? What has he had to say lately? Where has he been outside of a golf course?"
written by Bureau, 25 January 2014
UN investigating 23,000 prisoners missing from camp closure.
Low on supplies and food, many suspect they were eaten by other 122,000.
written by Bureau, 25 January 2014
NYPD to 'blanket' Midtown Manhattan with temporary surveillance cameras.
"Someone lighting up a cigarette on Fifth Avenue, Boss!"
written by Bureau, 25 January 2014
Pope to visit USA.
May be guest host on Saturday Night Live! Francis: Don't mind the black smoke. That's coming from Denver! (Applause!)
written by Bureau, 25 January 2014
Struggling MCDONALD'S Rethinks Strategies.
May create Adults Only McDonalds with Twerking female clowns in big cities.
written by Bureau, 25 January 2014
Growing Beard Popularity Shaves PROCTER & GAMBLE Sales.
"Skinheads have become our greatest customers. Free Skull & Crossbones flag with every $50 orders.
written by Bureau, 25 January 2014
President Objects to New Name
"Name calling is juvenile. I am not 'The Chief Jackass!"
written by Bureau, 25 January 2014
'You Learn to Work With Every Jackass Who Walks Through Door'.
"And you know which Party I'm talking about. They have the right animal."
written by Bureau, 25 January 2014
Obama To Address 'Global Warming' -- In Coldest SOTU In History?
Washington warns that anyone who laughs at him may be spied upon for two years.
written by Bureau, 25 January 2014
NFL prepared to change time or day of Super Bowl.
"Just so we get it in before baseball season and March Madness", says Commissioner.
written by Bureau, 25 January 2014
Bitter Blast To Last Weeks.#2
As Tennessee Valley Authority ordered by President to close two energy-producing plants, lay off thousands.
written by Bureau, 25 January 2014
Transformer Explodes, Leaving Residents Without Heat.
Parents asked not to allow children to play with any transformer toys until Spring.
written by Bureau, 25 January 2014
Bitter Blast To Last Weeks.
From both the weather and the bitter people out in the weather!
written by Bureau, 25 January 2014
Federal Courts Hit With Cyberattack.#5
Woman involved in Christmas altercation sentence to pull rickshaw for a year. This is the first clue as to where Cyberattacks are coming from.
written by Bureau, 25 January 2014
Federal Courts Hit With Cyberattack.#4
Man who cheated on income taxes given one year sentence in the electric chair.
written by Bureau, 25 January 2014
Federal Courts Hit With Cyberattack.#3
Man who killed whole family next door while on pot told by judge, "Go home. I hope this teaches you to smoke your pot responsibly!"
written by Bureau, 25 January 2014
Federal Courts Hit With Cyberattack.#2
Couple suing for divorce get 20 years each at Guantanamo!
written by Bureau, 25 January 2014
Federal Courts Hit With Cyberattack.
Guy arrested for Jay-Walking given thirty years community service.
written by Bureau, 25 January 2014
Much of US is frozen,
First dogsled races to be held in Key West!
written by Bureau, 25 January 2014
Southern US gets hit again with low temps!
"If this continues, those from Cuba, Haiti will be able to walk here across frozen Gulf.
written by Bureau, 25 January 2014
Texas Turns to Ice
Now both first and second largest states frozen solid!
written by Bureau, 25 January 2014
PRIVACY Fears Intensify!
"Man writing for Spoof in snippet says Privacy fears intensify. Better check him out"-NSA.
written by Bureau, 25 January 2014
Pentagon to launch Blimps in USA
There's plenty of us to launch. Will we get a special lawn chair and balloons with oxygen tanks?
written by Bureau, 25 January 2014
Super Bowl ticket prices continue to plummet
As the winds begin to howl and the snow keeps piling up!
written by Bureau, 25 January 2014
Chihuahuadoodle Not Such a Good Idea
Bernice Thibodeau, of the American Dog Breeders Assoc., says new dog breed a " total disaster ". Feisty, curly haired dogs that require fourteen hours to groom will never fly.
written by Wumf, 25 January 2014
Latest From The Weather Channel
We're thinking about doing away with weather reports and do a little soft shoe number that we think you will enjoy.
written by Bureau, 25 January 2014
Started Off Just Farting Around
Cops say man who attacked uncle with toilet seat lid is number one on their shit list!
written by Bureau, 25 January 2014
Lady Having a Run of Bad Luck
Woman who had face torn off by monkey trampled to death by elephant!
written by Bureau, 25 January 2014
Serenade Of Frogs Wins
Serenade of Frogs at Night wins over Barber Shop Quartet, Monk's chants and Justin Bieber Crying at Police Headquarters!
written by Bureau, 25 January 2014
Train Late Pulling Into Station
After the incident of a live/dead cow on/all over the track!
written by Bureau, 25 January 2014
Zakaria: Iran deal a train wreck
We grant them aid an they promise us nothing about nukes. This situation is going to blow up any day now.
written by Bureau, 25 January 2014
