True Facts From Snoops #626
According to Snoops: One out of five wreckers are bogus and are stealing your car if they can get a quit sell!
written by Bureau, 24 January 2014
True Facts From Snoops #222
According to Snoops: 75% of all spouses left behind at a rest stop was done on purpose!
written by Bureau, 24 January 2014
Driver leaves note on car
Hit and run driver in parking lot stops to place a printed note of bent car with the name and address of his worst enemy on it.
written by Bureau, 24 January 2014
True Facts From Snoops #866
According to Snoops: Harry S. Truman hated it when someone referred to him as "Hairy S Truman!"
written by Bureau, 24 January 2014
Supreme Court Ruling
Anyone eating blood pudding in the United States must first sign report as to where the blood came from!
written by Bureau, 24 January 2014
Larry King is exposed.
Apparently for the past ten years, someone is using a puppet. Police are investigating. "Someone pulled some strings here."
written by Bureau, 24 January 2014
Mantis shrimp see colors like no other creatures
Ever since this has been announced, people have been huffing, eating, snorting and shooting these things but apparently only the Mantis shrinp get high on the colors.
written by Bureau, 24 January 2014
Lindsay Lohan Back in Trouble
This time she was throwing burning sacks of dog doo at her neighbors house. Now what will Justin Bieber do to one-up that?
written by Bureau, 24 January 2014
Lindsay Lohan, Et Tu Bieber?
Lindsay Lohan has accused Justin Bieber of trying to take away her Chief Airhead award!
written by Bureau, 24 January 2014
Just Bieber Arrested
He was going 60 miles an hour in a Lamborghini. He told the officers, "Old men on three-wheelers were passing me, why not arrest them? "Because they were sober."
written by Bureau, 24 January 2014
True Facts From Snoops #739
According to Snoops: In 'All In The Family', Edith Bunker's maiden name was actually 'Dingbat'!
written by Bureau, 24 January 2014
True Facts From Snoops #087
According to Snoops: A tube of toothpaste between the sheets will prevent drunk husband from wetting the bed, the floor and after a long night of drinking, the downstairs living room and ceiling.
written by Bureau, 24 January 2014
True Facts From Snoops #229
According to Snoops: Over 35% of husbands in bed with wives prefer the "Heimlich Position"!
written by Bureau, 24 January 2014
True Facts From Snoops #780
According To Snoops: The seventh leading cause of death in the United States is toenail fungus.
written by Bureau, 24 January 2014
Police/Driver/Police/Checkmate
NYC motorist receives pic from police showing him driving through stop sign. He mails them pic of amount of money he was to pay. The next day he gets another pic from police with pic of his cellmate.
written by Bureau, 24 January 2014
He's On Speed!
Angry neighbor tries to retaliate for snowblower blowing snow over his parked car, sneaks come cocaine in neighbor's car tank. The next day neighbor, suspecting nothing, takes off to work at 200 MPH!
written by Bureau, 24 January 2014
Minnesota man arrested for indecent exposure
After trying to get driver's door unstuck on car by pissing on it!
written by Bureau, 24 January 2014
Can't Always Believe Old Tales
Trucker sees line of motorcycles lined in front of cafe he likes but is teased by cyclists. He goes out and runs truck into first bike expecting all to fall. They don't. Gang comes out and kills him.
written by Bureau, 24 January 2014
FBI warns retailers: more breaches are coming
The latest victim? "The Fudge Factory Toilet Supplies". "We're up to our you-know-what in bogus credit card thieves!", says owner, Mucus Stools!
written by Bureau, 24 January 2014
Boehner opts for wine and cigs over White House
"Besides that, who would want someone who cries all the time in the White House?"
written by Bureau, 24 January 2014
World Stocks Fall on Emerging Market Woes
According to Fonzi, who claims he saw it in the mirror after deciding not to comb it.
written by Bureau, 24 January 2014
Unbelievable Close Encounter With Bear Caught on Tape
Near Victim: If not for my all-purpose duct tape, I would have wound up as bear meat!"
written by Bureau, 24 January 2014
Elizabeth Vargas: 'I Am. I Am an Alcoholic,' Says ABC News Anchor
Blames reading and reporting bad news day after day. "We are a crazy species!"
written by Bureau, 24 January 2014
Gross Side Effects Of Chewing Gum #4
It can lose it's flavor on the bedpost overnight! You can catch it on your tonsils and heave it left and right.
written by Bureau, 24 January 2014
Gross Side Effects Of Chewing Gum #3
When it finally comes out of your body, it wants to hang on and you have to pull it out. (remember to wear gloves).
written by Bureau, 24 January 2014
Gross Side Effects Of Chewing Gum #2
A stick of gum can stay inside your body for up to a year!
written by Bureau, 24 January 2014
MooMoo BooBoo
Fat Cows Must Go On Diet, Farmers Warned.....there are plenty of the non-Bovine variety that could also use a diet!!
written by Herrdoktorfox, 24 January 2014
Gross Side Effects Of Chewing Gum
Number one: Companies first test the gum out by giving it to cows to chew and it's just right to take to factory and form into sticks.
written by Bureau, 24 January 2014
Wyatt Earp Junior?
Police Officer Shoots himself In The Leg while 'holstering' his pistol ...first responder, Ambulance and air Ambulance called out.....only thing missing was the Luton Girls Choir!
written by Herrdoktorfox, 24 January 2014
Cricket Finishes
The days of running in straight lines over and over, standing around for ages doing nothing and panicking about the nearest nimbus' are over. Cricket has finished and it will never return, hallelujah.
written by Matt Brown, 24 January 2014
Syria minister threatens to quit talks
"Since I'm not going to listen to anyone once I've had my speech, you can continue without me anyway."
written by Bureau, 24 January 2014
State Dept. warns Olympic athletes to not wear US team gear in public.
Audiences will be told when to turn their backs to the games.
written by Bureau, 24 January 2014
Implantable battery transforms movement of organs into energy
Big cheer from couples everywhere. "When can we get one?"
written by Bureau, 24 January 2014
UN to take up debate over REDSKINS' name.
Well they have finally decided to do the important things first. Glad to see that happen.
written by Bureau, 24 January 2014
Jet In Near Miss With UFO.
No No No. Don't you people ever listen to George Carlin? It was a near-hit, not a near miss. A 'near miss' means they hit the thing!
written by Bureau, 24 January 2014
STUDY: Nighttime smartphone leaves people tired at work the next day.
So does nighttime sex but the next morning I'm willing to drink my coffee and do the best job I can!
written by Bureau, 24 January 2014
Obama's Norway Ambassador Pick Fumbles Basic Questions About Norway.
"Look. I'm new at this. All I know now is that it's somewhere in South America."
written by Bureau, 24 January 2014
Mini-satellites could function as 'space cops'.
How many of those armed 'Weather Satellites' do they think are up there already?
written by Bureau, 24 January 2014
Holder willing to 'engage' with lawyers
Especially with "Good-looking" lady attorneys! Immediatly offends 100,000 female lawyers.
written by Bureau, 24 January 2014
YANKEES Pitcher To Lose Over Half of $155 Million Contract to Taxes
Well poor old guy. Maybe he can sit on NYC streets with a cup and wearing his baseball uniform.
written by Bureau, 24 January 2014
Banks To Handle Pot Money #2
I employee already caught smoking One Dollar Bill while outside on break.
written by Bureau, 24 January 2014
Banks To Handle Pot Money
Holder: Feds to let banks handle pot money......STOCKS SINK. and that's the latest bathroom news from here at $tar$!
written by Bureau, 24 January 2014
Neighbors thrilled Bieber finally got caught
"He's going to get himself or innocent people killed by his wild behavior", says lady who asked not to be identified as Helen Langston.
written by Bureau, 24 January 2014
Justin Bieber Smoking Weed All Day Say Cops
"He needs to find some pot in Denver for that", says officer. "The weeds in Florida are hard to dry and smoke, especially sea weed."
written by Bureau, 24 January 2014
REPORT: NFL prepared to change time or day of Super Bowl depending on weather...
Two AM on a Sunday already ruled out as players say that's the time they usually go to bed.
written by Bureau, 24 January 2014
Bitter Blast To Last Weeks.
Bitter people say they may not make it though several more weeks. Will there be a Million March to Florida?
written by Bureau, 24 January 2014
True Facts From Snoops #662
According to Snoops: Although the huge Brontosaurus was a vegetarian, it killed hundred of smaller dinosaurs by stepping, sitting or crapping on them.
written by Bureau, 24 January 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1005
According to Snoops: French Lick, Indiana got its name from all the people coming there after someone was cured of the mange after licking a Frenchman.
written by Bureau, 24 January 2014
True Facts From Snoops #874
According to Snoops: The famous "Shootout at the OK Corral" was won by Wyatt Earp and his 15 brothers.
written by Bureau, 24 January 2014
True Facts From Snoops #124
According to Snoops: There we actually three Darrins on "Bewitched. Darrin #2 had a twin brother.
written by Bureau, 24 January 2014
"You mean it wasn't a spoof?" an incredulous Romney exclaims
Some saboteur gave Mitt Romney the book, "How to Win Friends and Influence People," telling him that it was a hilarious satire. Mitt giggled his way through it, and has been losing friends ever since.
written by sylvia kronstadt, 24 January 2014
Lame Ass Comedy Writers Screw Up The Spoof
Spoof website The Spoof! was totally screwed up Thursday by dozens of people reporting stories that were true and not spoofs. "It's actually supposed to be funny, not just a recitation of the facts."
written by Al N., 24 January 2014
Elton John to Putin: I want you to meet my gay friends
Putin: "Oh, Goody! I'll introduce them to some heterosexual soldiers. Guess my macho photos has backfired on me!"
written by Bureau, 24 January 2014
Women's rights in Afghanistan worsen in 2013: report
Half the crowd will be plain clothed soldiers!
written by Bureau, 24 January 2014
Women's rights in Afghanistan worsen in 2013: report
Muslim woman have few rights to begin with. But women's groups like NOW say little about it anymore.
written by Bureau, 24 January 2014
Little-known aspect of Medicaid now causing people to avoid coverage
You wind up in a nursing home and your house could be sold to pay bills there.
written by Bureau, 24 January 2014
French Pres.'s Ratings Go Up After Mistress Revealed
Francois Hollande's political policies have been a bust. But when it was revealed he had such a good looking mistress the public now admire him and his popularity has soared.
written by Keith Shirey, 24 January 2014
U.S. Efforts to Detect Nuclear Programs Are Inadequate, Pentagon Study Finds
For instance, didn't even know that Monaco had gone nuclear two years ago.
written by Bureau, 24 January 2014
Reason For Seahawks Sherman's Rant
After Seahawks win over 49ers the cornerback screamed into the camera, the rant going viral. It turns out that he tipped a pass into teammates hand. He went wild to protect his thuggish image.
written by Keith Shirey, 24 January 2014
Hawaii Man Gets 18 Months for Hoax Plane Threat
Might have gotten a shorter sentence if it had been a real threat.
written by Bureau, 24 January 2014
Pentagon will send two warships into Black Sea in case of Olympic terror
That should deter any terrorist threat to athletes knowing that two warships will be after them immediately.
written by Bureau, 24 January 2014
Snowden Says He'll Never Return To U.S.
His constant companion, Gwen Ashton from the UK, revealed the real reason is that his long-time girlfriend who he left in Hawaii is impossibly angry. "Snowden won't face her wrath" she revealed.
written by Keith Shirey, 24 January 2014
Russian Communal Toilets Objets Of Interests
Pics of side-by-side thrones have gone viral on the internet. They're not in keeping Russian homophobia. But, more importantly, the pictures reveal that there is no provision for toilet paper.
written by Keith Shirey, 24 January 2014
New U.S.Olympic Uniforms Ugly
But the chair of the U.S.Olympic Committee says they couldn't be. "They were designed by Ralph Lauren whose taken me out for at least a dozen lunches at Spago."
written by Keith Shirey, 24 January 2014
Justin Bieber Object Of Comics' Ridicule
Funny men and their audiences enjoyed making him the object of ridicule. But a noted sociologist says it is they who are ridiculous. "He's badly in need of help. Only dumb-asses would laugh."
written by Keith Shirey, 24 January 2014
Transgender Inmate Close To Surgery
Conan O'brien and Jay Leno are delighted about the surgery as they see a new opportunity for jokes. They often make funnies about prison rape, which the U.S., the center of world morality, find funny
written by Keith Shirey, 24 January 2014
