White House Seeks to Bypass Congress to Lift Iran Sanctions.
Congress seeks to bypass President in taking away his powers!
written by Bureau, 21 January 2014
Adm. Mullen: Americans forget troops who die in 'our dirty little wars'.
"We put up tributes for the big wars but they never stop. Who cares about the dead soldiers in all the little dirty wars?"
written by Bureau, 21 January 2014
This town ain't big enough for both of us!
OK! Tomorrow at high noon. Pocket drones is my choice of weapons. Bring a Second.
written by Bureau, 21 January 2014
True Facts From Snoops #805
According to Snoops: It was first lady Margaret Truman who first coined the phrase "Hung in there like a hair in a biscuit". This was after newspaper had Dewey winning election instead of Truman!
written by Bureau, 21 January 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1015
According to Snoops: In an emergency, Canola oil can be substituted for Ky-Jelly!
written by Bureau, 21 January 2014
True Facts From Snoops #564
According to Snoops: Before the 'Iron Horse' was invented, most people traveled out west by train.
written by Bureau, 21 January 2014
True Facts From Snoops #1007
According to Snoops: A little known fact. KFC in 2001 to Kentucky Fried Critter. It was just recently spotted when a lady found a possum tail in her chicken breast.
written by Bureau, 21 January 2014
'Fist Bump' Now Acceptable
White folk in Utah are using it. The gesture is still suspiciously racially charged when used by Mr. and Mrs. Obama.
written by The Ruling Authority, 21 January 2014
Russia Expecting More Trouble
Members of the bungling, but extremely dangerous terrorist group, Al-Bundy spotted in the area.
written by Bureau, 21 January 2014
Obama's pot comments could help legalization efforts in states
Next he plans to mention the benefits of LSD and magic mushrooms!
written by Bureau, 21 January 2014
New Study Reveals Fascinating Fact
Nine out of ten snow and ice hit U.S. citizens mumble something unpleasant about 'Al Gore' while cleaning off their automobiles.
written by Bureau, 21 January 2014
Major Snowstorm May Affect the Northeast Thursday
Also, Friday, much of the weekend and again next Monday. But 12 hours on Sunday there just could be a bit of sunshine.
written by Bureau, 21 January 2014
MSNBC host apologizes to Mitt Romney
Sorry we ran those 2,000 free ads for the President to be re-elected.
written by Bureau, 21 January 2014
Scammers Using Photos Of Cute Puppies To Dupe Dog Lovers Of Thousands.
"Yes. If we don't raise another $100 by this week, these little guys will be gassed."
written by Bureau, 21 January 2014
Women sell positive pregnancy tests on Craigslist for $35 each
"Read the report. Either marry me or I go public with this!"
written by Bureau, 21 January 2014
True Facts From Snoops #909
According to Snoops: Richard Nixon and Henry Kissinger used to record themselves getting drunk and then listening to the tape the next day and laughing themselves sick. Obama, Biden prefer reefers.
written by Bureau, 21 January 2014
True Facts From Snoops #908
According to Snoops: Colonel Sanders invented his secret recipe for KFC while trying to think of something else during sex with his wife.
written by Bureau, 21 January 2014
True Facts From Snoops #419
According to Snoops: (2014) U.S. Trade Officials just now figure out that "Made In America" can mean made anywhere in North, South, Central America!
written by Bureau, 21 January 2014
True Facts From Snoops #058
According to Snoops: While captured in Hanoi, John McCain taught North Vietnamese officers Klingon instead of English.
written by Bureau, 21 January 2014
Bill Gates Sees Almost No Poor Countries Left by 2035.
Most see almost no countries left by 2035, poor or otherwise!
written by Bureau, 21 January 2014
Man shoots self in road rage.
"I had no choice. I cut myself off in traffic and this should teach me not to do that again."
written by Bureau, 21 January 2014
State considers allowing 'service monkeys' to take care of paralyzed people.
Foes say: Some service monkeys can rip off a face. Let's stay with illegal aliens.
written by Bureau, 21 January 2014
Sochi scrambles to sell tickets.
Russia's Putin: Hey! Where's your sporting blood? (Aside: I should have left off the 'blood')
written by Bureau, 21 January 2014
NEXT: Self-Replicating Robots?
Oh that's a great idea! Robots that can create more robots. Why not mix Charles Manson DNA with that of all new babies?
written by Bureau, 21 January 2014
REPORT: Treasure Trove of Drugs In Bieber Mansion During Raid.
Both ends burning like crazy! Next will be hearings, then community service, rehab and then croaking while on commode. It's deja vu all over again.
written by Bureau, 21 January 2014
STUDY: Positive Outlook Linked to Better Health.
What if we're 'positive' that Obamacare a crock from the beginning?
written by Bureau, 21 January 2014
Postal workers march to end after-dark delivery.
Especially in well-known gang, zombie, high crime areas of cities!
written by Bureau, 21 January 2014
At Davos, Rising Stress Spurs Goldie Hawn Meditation Talk
Sure! It's easy for her to empty her brain of all thoughts.
written by Bureau, 21 January 2014
'Gentle succession' underway as Charles prepares to assume monarch's duties.
For the first week or two he plans to study the correct way to wave!
written by Bureau, 21 January 2014
President Obama on Dope Again?
Tells Mitch McConnell and Nancy Pelosi to call him "Barry".
written by Bureau, 21 January 2014
STUDY: Sitting For Hours Unhealthy As Smoking
Also studying 'sitting for hours' worse than smoking and eating sugar combined!
written by Bureau, 21 January 2014
Hunt For 'BLACK WIDOW' In Sochi
Also, 'Blue Orphan', 'Yellow Dog' and 'Red October'!
written by Bureau, 21 January 2014
Snow blast set DC, Philly, NYC- Federal gov't closes
"We weren't doing much of anything anyway", says Nancy Pelosi!
written by Bureau, 21 January 2014
£6,000 Of Viagra Stolen From UK Military Stocks!
It's a hard life in the modern Army!
written by Herrdoktorfox, 21 January 2014
Woman gives birth to 15-pound baby in California
"I thought I would name him a bad name cause he nearly killed me but he's a cutie like myself so I named him Helen."
written by Bureau, 21 January 2014
Supermodel shatters stereotypes, runway
220-pound model cheered by crowd but falls through runway. Police say it was rigged to fall by jealous designers.
written by Bureau, 21 January 2014
Report alleges torture, killings by Syrian government
"They have tortured and killed 100 times the amount of people we have tortured and killed", says opposition.
written by Bureau, 21 January 2014
Obama: Obama: Pot not 'more dangerous' than alcohol
I may have to quit the beer sessions and head for Denver for meetings.
written by Bureau, 21 January 2014
Denver apparently stoned in after Bronco Victory!
"Weir da best. hee hee Ask pot what you can do for your country...oh. Ha Ha Ha Forget it! Rollin rollin rollin! Keep those cigs a rollin BRONCO HIDE!!"
written by Bureau, 21 January 2014
Frozen nation: Propane emergency threatens to leave millions shivering
Al Gore missing. House in Tennessee burned to the ground.
written by Bureau, 21 January 2014
Rumor: Rand Paul May Run on 3rd Party, the Redneck Party
Ralph Nader says he may run on the Greenneck Party!
written by Bureau, 21 January 2014
Better Keep an Eye on Canada
First we get Justin Bieber, then the Polar Vortex, next thing you know we'll all be ending our sentences with "eh?" Oh no. It's too late, eh?
written by Bureau, 21 January 2014
Rogers, Feinstein Say Snowden Foreign Spy
They also said that he has put American lives in jeopardy. But FBI says no such cases have been found and he is not under influence of foreign gov'ts. Mystic j. Ra says they channel Joe McCarthy.
written by Keith Shirey, 21 January 2014
True Facts From Snoops #788
According to Snoops: Pressing the keys D.U.M.B.A.S.S on your telephone will allow scam artists to run up long distance calls on your bill. Don't press these. I don't care what they say you have won.
written by Bureau, 21 January 2014
True Facts From Snoops #122
According to Snoops: While it's true that a snapping turtle never lets go of your finger until it thunders, ordinary turtles let go as soon as you pull on their tail.
written by Bureau, 21 January 2014
Why Morale Is So Low Among US Nukemen?
Many officers who would launch land-based nuclear missiles have been relieved of duty for being drunk, not knowing safety rules. The nukes are aimed at russia. The cold war was over 20 years ago.
written by Keith Shirey, 21 January 2014
Why Are The Rich So Rich?
Guru Raja Shiva said today, when asked why 0.2% of the top 1% in America were billionaires said, "Well that's easy, they chose the right parents before birth."
written by Keith Shirey, 21 January 2014
