Woman has baby after sperm frozen four years
"I'm either having a girl or a boy but it felt like Frosty the Snowman. Hope he/she doesn't want to live in Alaska."
written by Bureau, 11 January 2014
CLAIM: Smell of Fear Inherited Through Genes.
"I don't know about that but smell of crap can come through the jeans", jokes Scientist.
written by Bureau, 11 January 2014
Woman to give birth to own grandmother!
Sorry. That should be "Woman to give birth to her own granddaughter."
written by Bureau, 11 January 2014
COPS: Man stabs woman for bringing home pizza instead of chicken sandwich.
"My job gets crazier every day as people get crazier every day!", says policeman.
written by Bureau, 11 January 2014
OUT: Arbitrator Bans A-Rod For Season!
Yankee star may retire, may go to another team in 2015. Never was Mr. Clutch! (Like Berra always was).
written by Bureau, 11 January 2014
Paula Abdul Sues Tanning Company For Frying Her Brain
In further news about Paula Abdul suing the tanning company for frying her brain, the defendant's will use all the years of American Idol Paula Abdul was on to show that her brain was already fried.
written by Al N., 11 January 2014
Depressed peat bog found in Wales
Wales, home to peat mires, raised peat bogs, level peat bogs and raised peat mires has hit the jackpot with the discovery of a depressed peat bog at Y Borth, near Aberystwith.
written by Auntie Jean, 11 January 2014
A-Rod out of baseball for an entire season
Now they can stop needling him.
written by Michael Balton, 11 January 2014
True Facts From Snoops #833
According to Snoops: Eleven monks were injured Saturday morning, two with serious head trauma, after a silent fruitcake fight.
written by Bureau, 11 January 2014
True Facts From Snoops #997
According to Snoops: The average number of times a person taking a driver's test in Arkansas, until they pass it, is ten.
written by Bureau, 11 January 2014
True Facts From Snoops #607
According to Snoops: The International House of Pancakes once asked a man to leave who had ordered, "Let me have a stack of them old flapjacks!"
written by Bureau, 11 January 2014
True Facts From Snoops #296
According to Snoops: The late actor Lloyd Bridges (Sea Hunt) wore frog feet every time he took a shower.
written by Bureau, 11 January 2014
3-hour orgasm sends woman to ER
Now all the big book companies want her to write about her experience! If she can't, they'll send ghost writer.
written by Bureau, 11 January 2014
20 celebrities we didn't know were gay before they came out.
Number One: Liberace! Who would have thought? Both Siegfried AND Roy! Boy, go figure.
written by Bureau, 11 January 2014
Why are owls attacking people in Missouri?
Mostly on mousy CPAs, Ratty Attorneys and Rabbity politicians!
written by Bureau, 11 January 2014
Man has cockroach pulled from ear in 10-minute procedure because he didn't want it in there
I can't imagine why he would not want it in there. Probably might fall out during a date at a restaurant or something.
written by Bureau, 11 January 2014
How to Fall Asleep When It's 4 a.m. And You're Wide Awake
Call us, Big Knockers! We have people who will knock you out at a very low cost! That's Big Knockers. See our ad in Boxer's Digest.
written by Bureau, 11 January 2014
Burrito vending machine arrives in Los Angeles.
Over 1,000 vending machines filled with munchies broken into in Colorado.
written by Bureau, 11 January 2014
Dog tests positive for cocaine, pot.
Policeman noticed that other dogs weren't sniffing its rear end as usual.
written by Bureau, 11 January 2014
STUDY: Cellphone 18 times dirtier than public bathrooms.
Making a call from the bathrooms could cause you to be taken out undignified on a stretcher.
written by Bureau, 11 January 2014
Nevada's biggest casinos lose $1.3 billion in '13.#2
No more free bottled water or colas! Alcohol prices just jumped.
written by Bureau, 11 January 2014
Nevada's biggest casinos lose $1.3 billion in '13.
The odds against you winning just became a lot less!
written by Bureau, 11 January 2014
French Prez threatens lawsuit over report of mistress.
Mistress also threaten to file suit against the same publication. Mistress: Just not true!
written by Bureau, 11 January 2014
Mystery Remains: Woman finds wrong body in mother's casket.
Funeral Director orders check on what families have had recent cremations.
written by Bureau, 11 January 2014
GM recalling 370,000 full-size trucks for fire risks.
"We have reason that many have been wired on assembly line with high explosives. We have arrested assembly worker. I'd hurry if I were you."
written by Bureau, 11 January 2014
U.S. issues alert for Sochi-bound Americans. #2
"BOOM! What was that Joe? I don't know but the high jumper just doubled the record jump when he heard it."
written by Bureau, 11 January 2014
U.S. issues alert for Sochi-bound Americans.
The Olympics is supposed to be safe but we estimate that at least half of you will be able to return here in one piece.
written by Bureau, 11 January 2014
Media mocks De Blasio for eating pizza with fork.#3
Bet he doesn't even cut up his candy bars with a fork and knife before wolfing them down. Someone needs to show him that old Seinfeld episode.
written by Bureau, 11 January 2014
Media mocks De Blasio for eating pizza with fork.#2
Not only that, but he used the WRONG fork. What a dork!!
written by Bureau, 11 January 2014
Media mocks De Blasio for eating pizza with fork.
Doesn't the guy realize that pizza should be eaten with a spoon? He probably doesn't even know which spoon is the pizza spoon.
written by Bureau, 11 January 2014
STUDY: Too Much TV Can Damage Child's Brain.
Also, every other part of his body if he never gets any exercise!
written by Bureau, 11 January 2014
White House says Iran bill could draw USA into war.
Also, any other nation that tries to collect what we owe them.
written by Bureau, 11 January 2014
Credit Card Hackers Hit NEIMAN MARCUS.
Many are trying to get the Big One, Walmart. Credit card companies may send every customer a new card.
written by Bureau, 11 January 2014
Teen arrested for videotaped 'knockout' attack on elderly woman.#2
George Foreman volunteers to teach this youth how that feels from the 'knockees' point of view.
written by Bureau, 11 January 2014
Teen arrested for videotaped 'knockout' attack on elderly woman.
Police accidentally lock him in room with 30 old ladies with umbrellas.
written by Bureau, 11 January 2014
'For Every One Job Added, Nearly 5 People Left the Workforce'
President says that they should really use better deodorant and personal grooming.
written by Bureau, 11 January 2014
1,500 people camp out for chance to apply for job.
Warned that the job of becoming the next President can be a rough one with the press.
written by Bureau, 11 January 2014
Woman to give birth to own granddaughter.
It's very complicated how they both grandmother and mother as baby exits grandmother into mother and then exits mother.
written by Bureau, 11 January 2014
Emperor has a problem
The Emperor of Japan has admitted to being addicted to Facebook and Twitter. He said he once spent 48 hours just browsing the social media websites in search of a "good laugh". Is he for real?
written by whatinthe world, 11 January 2014
