Remember when we got al-Qaeda #2?
Turns out that #2 was what he was doing when we shot him. I thought we had killed a lot of #2's. Now we know how.
written by Bureau, 29 October 2013
Washington in a Quandry
Now Washington has really balled things up. Several al-Qaeda terrorists have signed up for Obamacare. Now, if we knock one off, we have to pay his widow two hundred and fifty thousand dollars.
written by Bureau, 29 October 2013
True Facts From Snoops #644
According to Snoops: Woody Allen holds the record of receiving the most wedgies when in High School at 107. In fact, other student say he was often called "Wedgy Allen" back then.
written by Bureau, 29 October 2013
Mark Brunell wouldn't be surprised if the Jaguars end up in London
Most NFL fans are asking "Doing what?"
written by Bureau, 29 October 2013
Each Taxpayer Has Federal-Debt Liability of $1.1 Million
Then they won't be needing my piddling $200. amount.
written by Bureau, 29 October 2013
SOWELL: 'Dangerous polarization has set in'!
Oh it has not! That's just what I expected to hear from your group!
written by Bureau, 29 October 2013
Britain's NHS pulls plug on £11bn healthcare computer system.
Seems like several countries are ready to "pull the plug" on spending on infirm and elderly.
written by Bureau, 29 October 2013
Hoyer: 'We Knew' Americans Would Lose Current Health Plans.
But you didn't want Americans to know about it? Is this so the government will be in charge of all health care?
written by Bureau, 29 October 2013
HHS head to testify on troubled website rollout
As the public face of President Obama's top health care program, Kathleen Sebelius admitted this afternoon that it's been more like a freak out than a rollout. "Certain people should have been ready."
written by Bureau, 29 October 2013
U.S. Now 25th in Education
Congressman: We got to get some book learning into these kids or the country won't be worth diddly squat.
written by Bureau, 29 October 2013
True Facts From Snoops #899
According to Snoops: Heavyweight Jimmy "The Slammer" Tortello was undefeated at 7 wins, 0 loses but never won the championship since he never fought any champ because of spending so much time in jail.
written by Bureau, 29 October 2013
True Facts From Snoops #1212
According to Snoops: The very first ad on personal computers was an ad for cheap Spanish Fly from Mexico.
written by Bureau, 29 October 2013
Human remains found in sewage plants
"Most of us thought the water was a little off but none of us thought we were becoming cannibals", says one citizen.
written by Bureau, 29 October 2013
Singer, songwriter Lou Reed Dead at 71
Takes a Walk on the Other Side!
written by Bureau, 29 October 2013
Feinstein Pledges 'Major Review' of Surveillance.
"I tried to tell them that we'd get caught one of these days."
written by Bureau, 29 October 2013
Nothing To Say
Energy Companies run out of gas. Completely fracked.
written by j.w., 29 October 2013
Man shot after breaking into home, ranting about zombies.
Walks back out with six holes in his head, still ranting.
written by Bureau, 29 October 2013
Al Sharpton sniffs injustice.
Many opponents say he sniffs a lot more than that.
written by Bureau, 29 October 2013
Florida man's cell phone stops robber's bullet.
"It was the bravest thing I've ever seen", laments owner.
written by Bureau, 29 October 2013
Former TB Hospital Now Attracts Ghost Hunters
"You can't see them but you can still hear all this coffin.. coughing!"
written by Bureau, 29 October 2013
Gov't Employees 'Absent' 50% More Than Private-Sector Workers.
Also receive more days off for more holidays, birthdays, weekends.
written by Bureau, 29 October 2013
Food Bank CEO Warns Welfare Cuts May Spark Riots #2
WalMart already rolling out tanks from Arkansas headquarters.
written by Bureau, 29 October 2013
Food Bank CEO Warns Welfare Cuts May Spark Riots
Everyone is anxious to riot anyway. May as well get it over with before elections.
written by Bureau, 29 October 2013
Prosecutors to lay out UK phone hacking case.
They will also explain all the different gadgets inside the case and show everyone how each one works.
written by Bureau, 29 October 2013
Doctors resisting Obamacare.#2
No more free trips for conferences in Las Vegas paid for by drug companies.
written by Bureau, 29 October 2013
Doctors resisting Obamacare.
Have to hire more staff to fill out forms.
written by Bureau, 29 October 2013
Latest Hurdle
The latest hurdle in signing up for Obamacare is a sawhorse in the doctors office lobby. No one had spotted this on page 10,665, second paragraph, Part C.
written by Bureau, 29 October 2013
True Facts From Snoops #671
According to Snoops: By the time Thomas Edison finally invented the light bulb, he had created 26 new curse words from the 90-Plus failures.
written by Bureau, 29 October 2013
