Alaska Suspends Enrollments After Signing Up 3 People.
"When we think it might get up to 10, we'll try again", says spokesman.
written by Bureau, 28 October 2013
True Facts From Snoops #1114
According to Snoops: Most molested male occupation in the U.S., Grocery Boys with low IQ. "You say you want me to put these groceries you ordered in the bedroom, Mrs Robinson?"
written by Bureau, 28 October 2013
Syrian Electronic Army Claims Hacked Obama TWITTER Account.
Also, President may have forgotten and left nuclear weapons launch codes on napkin at DC diner. Blames waitress.
written by Bureau, 28 October 2013
Hollywood Homes Now Featuring Moats for Security.
Prices for live alligators going up fast!
written by Bureau, 28 October 2013
Texan survives being hit by lightning twice #2
Officials warn him about the third strike rule. "Three strikes and you're out of here."
written by Bureau, 28 October 2013
President Obama Puzzled
First, no one wants my Obamacare and now none of the Muslim leader will meet me for a beer conference.
written by Bureau, 28 October 2013
True Facts From Snoops #209
According to Snoops: The late Jimmy the Greek never went anywhere without a box of Lucky Charms cereal on him.
written by Bureau, 28 October 2013
Holloway Leaves the Palace.
After leaving Crystal Palace Ian Holloway has been asked by the Queen to manage Prince William's team Buckingham.
written by j.w., 28 October 2013
Incest at school?!
Grand Daughter: We have no school on Monday. It's an incest day.
Grand Dad: These free schools! I suppose the teachers will be studying relativity.
written by j.w., 28 October 2013
Texan survives being hit by lightning twice
But he was at two different places during the storm. So the Old Saying also survives.
written by Bureau, 28 October 2013
True Facts From Snoops #886
According to Snoops: No one has ever gotten pregnant on January 23rd. We double-checked.
written by Bureau, 28 October 2013
NSA Claims They Have Been Bugged By NRA
"What's fair for the goose is fair for the gander", says NRA. "We just place our listening devices, etc, next to all the others."
written by Bureau, 28 October 2013
Docs to parents: Limit kids' texts, tweets, online
"That is, if you ever see them again because of this message."
written by Bureau, 28 October 2013
Wynonna Judd. Doing Fine
Gets apology from Japan over harpoon incident. "Tell Kirsty Ally not to swim to far out," jokes Judd.
written by Bureau, 28 October 2013
Man Making Ireland Tax Avoidance Hub Proves Local Hero
Ireland could have more millionaires than any country in the world. "We're getting greener every day!"
written by Bureau, 28 October 2013
NSA: Obama didn't know about any spying going on #2
NSA: Sometimes you forget to report things, like those 60,000 recorded in one month in Spain. "I DO recall telling Joe Biden ", says one operator who asked not to be shot.
written by Bureau, 28 October 2013
Latest on Obamacare
Computers crash. "We'll have to start all over again", says one employee. President completely white-headed.
written by Bureau, 28 October 2013
Presidents Advisors Ask Him To Quit The "Not My Fault"
Instead, they think it would ease the situations more if he replied, "Did I do that?" in an Urkel-like voice.
written by Bureau, 28 October 2013
Finger Pulling Over Obamacare!
I'm sorry. That should have read, "Finger pointing".
written by Bureau, 28 October 2013
Malfunction hits Obamacare 'hub'
"If you think it's bad now, wait until you send them a claim", says one operator.
written by Bureau, 28 October 2013
NSA: Obama didn't know about any spying going on
"Even when we tried to tell him it was getting out of hand, he'd place his finger in his ears and hum", says spokesman.
written by Bureau, 28 October 2013
Many Americans are now living Off The Grid!
Especially old retired football players!
written by Bureau, 28 October 2013
Scientists dig for fossils in LA a century later
"We're using a Time Machine", says scientist 100 years from now. "Getting here was half the fun!"
written by Bureau, 28 October 2013
Report: US monitored 60 million calls in Spain
Spain tells citizens to close each call with "Nuts to you, NSA!"
written by Bureau, 28 October 2013
Sandy +1: Preparing for the storms ahead
Weather experts predict 57 hurricanes next hurricane season. (To make up for those that never came the past four years).
written by Bureau, 28 October 2013
Kansas City to change name of Chiefs
From now on they will be called, The Kansas City Mohawks. (None left to protest).
written by Bureau, 28 October 2013
Atlanta Braves agree to change offense name
From now on they will be called the Atlanta "...You Know"
written by Bureau, 28 October 2013
Defense rescues Denver in 45-21 win over Redskins
I'm sorry. Denver Broncos defeat the Washington Redass Monkeys. No offense to any Redskins intended.
written by Bureau, 28 October 2013
President Comments About ball he hit into the woods at golf course
"It wasn't my fault!" "Somebody coughed!" "I blame Bush!"
written by Bureau, 28 October 2013
Platini wants bigger world cup
After seeing Ice Hockey's Stanley Cup which stads at over a meter tall he felt the current trophy looked a bit titchy.
written by John_L, 28 October 2013
Cameron: Storms a disappointment.
Prime Minister David Cameron was said to be greatly disappointed by the big storm. He had hoped that the disaster level would mean that he could hide all sorts of unpopular policy announcements.
written by John_L, 28 October 2013
When the music's over
First Jimi. Then Janis. Now Lou Reed. When does it end?
written by Michael Balton, 28 October 2013
More trouble for Obamacare
Some people have joined under fake name & info. Now the same ones are calling in to drop it.
written by Bureau, 28 October 2013
Data center glitch is latest problem in 'Obamacare' rollout
White House: Give it a chance. It's only been planned for four years.
written by Bureau, 28 October 2013
