Dog blamed for apartment fire in Wash. state
Renter of other apartment says he saw the dog acting sneaky & had a box of matches in his mouth.
written by Bureau, 26 October 2013
Authorities investigate if cornbread was spiked
"It's a modern version of the poisoned apple", say police. "Only this was down in the South. All cornbread tastes funny to me."
written by Bureau, 26 October 2013
What's behind the U.S. rift with Saudi Arabia?
"This president does not hold my hand while we walk", says the Saudi leader.
written by Bureau, 26 October 2013
Brett Favre Will Stay Retired.
After visits to other men who have had concussions. "They talk about 'George and the rabbits' most of the time.
written by Bureau, 26 October 2013
Cruz: Shutdown successful because it sparked debate
And the sparks are still flying from out here across America!
written by Bureau, 26 October 2013
True Facts From Snoops #766B
According to Snoops: Dave Letterman of Late night Fame once sang with the Lettermen.
written by Bureau, 26 October 2013
With computer glitches, has GOP finally found a way to kill Obamacare?
Over half of MENSA members and members of the Nerd Squad not showing up much lately.
written by Bureau, 26 October 2013
Census Admits Error
"There are a less immigrants in Arkansas. We just cannot understand their accents."
written by Bureau, 26 October 2013
What does it take to be fired from present Washington Administration?
A lot, since they all know so many things about how government is being dismantled.
written by Bureau, 26 October 2013
NSA Admits Huge Blunder
"We have lost our list of everyone that was bugged. This will be a major headache since one has recently been found in Roosevelt's wheelchair."
written by Bureau, 26 October 2013
USA Considers No-Spy Deal With Allies.
"Anything goes with enemies, same as always."
written by Bureau, 26 October 2013
High School football teams wins 92-0
Parents of losing time whip parents of winning team 30-24! Several injuries of all four sides.
written by Bureau, 26 October 2013
True Facts From Snoops #198
According to Snoops: If there is life on other planets most studious males hope that they are beautiful women who are madly in love with nerds. ("And just how BIG is that brain of yours?")
written by Bureau, 26 October 2013
True Facts From Snoops #1161
According to Snoops: The very first baseballs were just called balls. How the base part cam into it is a mystery. It could have just as well been batballs.
written by Bureau, 26 October 2013
Weiner says he's never been pierced.
"But I have tattoo on my ass that I'd like to show to all those idiot reporters."
written by Bureau, 26 October 2013
Lost dentures, loose eyeball among sick-day excuses: survey
In Arkansas, an employee called in sick saying, "I got the Can't-Help-It and can't help it!"
written by Bureau, 26 October 2013
Kentucky Man Denies Edgar Cayce Born There
"Naw Sir! That Mister Cayce was from that Dream State! Just ask Mama."
written by Bureau, 26 October 2013
REPORT: 500,000 to Lose Health Plans in California
You Mamas and Papas may as well forget about all that California Dreaming!
written by Bureau, 26 October 2013
StopWatchingUS rally against mass surveillance
NSA Rep through megaphone: "Better break it up. We know where you live and what you've done that's illegal!"
written by Bureau, 26 October 2013
......."you 'orrible little man!"
Recruitment drive 11,000 new Army recruits.....fond memories of 'The Army Game' spring to mind and 'excused boots Bisley'!
written by Herrdoktorfox, 26 October 2013
Obamacare website 'fixable'
"But we need to kick in a trillion dollars or two", says study!
written by Bureau, 26 October 2013
Palin promises to 'shake things up'
Barbara Boxer: I see she's planning to win most of the man vote once again.
written by Bureau, 26 October 2013
Another shopper claims NYPD profiling
"They just walk up in front of me in the aisle and pose with their best side towards me."
written by Bureau, 26 October 2013
Man Sued Over 5 Hours in crowded emergency room
Ten women and three men claim he kept punching them even though he apologized and said he couldn't help it in that big crowd.
written by Bureau, 26 October 2013
Obama vows change after latest disclosure
After bugging device falls into commode from the back pocket of VP Biden.
written by Bureau, 26 October 2013
English Version Unclear
English on Beijing elevator: "Do not ride device to top floors here if device not working."
written by Bureau, 26 October 2013
UK police seize parts from 3D-printed gun
Drawing straws to see who 'volunteers' to test it's firing a bullet.
written by Bureau, 26 October 2013
Saudi women break driving ban, defying warnings - campaigners
Place warning signs on bumpers, "This Car May Explode in your face if disturbed!"
written by Bureau, 26 October 2013
United Airlines fined $1.1M for tarmac delays
Guess the passed out certificates of "Official Member of the Mile High Club" didn't work.
written by Bureau, 26 October 2013
Column: Jaguars might be worst team in history
May change name to Jacksonville Jackalopes.
written by Bureau, 26 October 2013
US charges man for trying to buy missiles for Tehran
I'm sorry. That should be: Man charged with telling public about recent U.S. purchase of missiles from Tehran.
written by Bureau, 26 October 2013
McDonald's drops Heinz Ketchup
McDonalds said Friday it was dropping ketchup king Heinz as a supplier of the key hamburger condiment. "It was beginning to mutate with the pink slime", says rep.
written by Bureau, 26 October 2013
FDA approves more powerful, pure hydrocodone drug
This one will not be addictive. However, they don't take away pain either. However, they will help you get off the other pills and restore most of the holes in your stomach.
written by Bureau, 26 October 2013
Guest lineups for the Sunday news shows
Hoping that a line-up of politicians will help victims identify which ones were actually not guilty of robbing U.S. blind.
written by Bureau, 26 October 2013
Cruz in Iowa claims shutdown got people talking
"But we can't say those words over the air."
written by Bureau, 26 October 2013
Another month of fixes for health care website
Right after we get these bets on the World Series and NFL games taken care of.
written by Bureau, 26 October 2013
UPDATE: Christie Releases Medical Records.
Admits that he was that 950-pound man removed from house with a crane.
written by Bureau, 26 October 2013
New Surveillance Technology: 'Spy Rocks'.
You probably drive over them every day and don't even know it.
written by Bureau, 26 October 2013
Iran announces 34 new nuke sites.
Israel comments: Aren't you forgetting about those two just north of Tehran?
written by Bureau, 26 October 2013
German spy chiefs to head to US for talks.
While they secretly remove their own spy devices!
written by Bureau, 26 October 2013
Activists Set to Rally Against Gov't Spying #2
So, where have you guys been hiding for the past five years?
written by Bureau, 26 October 2013
Activists Set to Rally Against Gov't Spying.
Government claims that they knew nothing about it.
written by Bureau, 26 October 2013
Venezuela Creates 'Happiness' Agency #2
Mimes in invisible cubes the very first arrested by agency. "And No, you cannot take your invisible cube with you!"
written by Bureau, 26 October 2013
Venezuela Creates 'Happiness' Agency.
Those who disobey send to clown school to learn to laugh.
written by Bureau, 26 October 2013
Washington Times to Sue Government over seizures of their stories
"Brown shirts taking over the press more every day."
written by Bureau, 26 October 2013
Washington: Obamacare should be ready by November
But failed to say what year it will be ready!
written by Bureau, 26 October 2013
21 Nations line up with UN on bugging by NSA
America losing still more friendly nations through Washington blunders.
written by Bureau, 26 October 2013
North Korea Leader Having Fun Hacking Obamacare
Laughs his head off every time callers identify themselves as Donald Duck, Bugs Bunny.
written by Bureau, 26 October 2013
