Jackie Chan - No Hi Yo Silver!
Asian actor Jackie Chan revealed that he tried out for the role of The Lone Ranger but producers told him that he was a little bit too short.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 25 October 2013
John Boehner Going For The Gold
Movie producer Michael Moore has quipped that if whining was an Olympic sport Speaker of the House John Boehner would win the gold medal.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 25 October 2013
Kenny Chesney Insists That He's A Straight Shooter
Kenny Chesney has said that he is getting tired of all of the gay rumors. He exclaimed, "Dammit, you ride a horse sidesaddle one time and they brand you a prairie fairy."
written by Abel Rodriguez, 25 October 2013
Tom Brady Responds With A "No Thanks"
Jose Canseco, who admitted to taking steroids, recently said that if New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady took steroids he could easily throw the football 100 yards.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 25 October 2013
Keira Knightley Keeping Her Chin Up
Actress Keira Knightley recently confessed that she lost out on two movie roles because she was flat-chested. She did perk up and add that she did get three movie roles because she was flat-chested.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 25 October 2013
Jennifer Aniston And A Little Bit of A Grudge
Jennifer Aniston told Jenny McCarthy on The View that even though it has been 8 years since Angelina Jolie stole Brad Pitt away from her she would still love to kick the big lipped homewrecker's ass.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 25 October 2013
Dick "Horrible Shot" Cheney Receives A Warning
The state of Utah has informed Dick Cheney that if he is caught in Utah in the possession of a rifle or any other kind of firearm he will be immediately arrested.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 25 October 2013
Larry King Might Not Need The Little Blue Pill
Larry King says that he is so excited about the sucess of his and Regis Philbin's talk show, The Viagra View, that he sometimes gets home and forgets to take his Viagra pill.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 25 October 2013
Paul McCartney Has Set His 2014 Goal
Paul McCartney says that his musical goal for 2014 is to record an album with Honey Boo Boo.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 25 October 2013
Tina Fey Cannot Stand Sarah "The Pest" Palin
Tina Fey has stated that sometimes in the middle of the night she wakes up drenched in sweat after having dreamt about impersonating Sarah "Snowflake" Palin.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 25 October 2013
True Facts From Snoops #773
According to Snoops: Most used 'pick up' line used by males at nursing homes? "I bet you would have made the cover of Playboy Magazine if they had cameras back then!"
written by Bureau, 25 October 2013
CEO says women with high heels have no brains
Women respond: Since when did you start 'checking out' women's brains?
written by Bureau, 25 October 2013
No more $1 Menu at McDonalds!
From now on, customers must haggle over cost of meals. (Let me go check with the boss.)
written by Bureau, 25 October 2013
True Facts From Snoops #199
According to Snoops: The man who played Mr. Moose on Captain Kangaroo for twenty years says that he was on the show so long, he didn't need any make-up during the last two years!
written by Bureau, 25 October 2013
Snowden: 'No telephone in America makes call without leaving record with NSA'
Also CIA, FBI, AARP, IRS, NFL and RCA!
written by Bureau, 25 October 2013
True Facts From Snoops #1121
According to Snoops: The Lone Ranger had at least three Ranger stuntmen. Also, Soupy Sales actually hated soup but loved oatmeal.
written by Bureau, 25 October 2013
True Facts From Snoops #338
According to Snoops: Orthodox Vegetarians will not play "Fox & Hounds".
written by Bureau, 25 October 2013
Biggest Movie Blunder
During "Independence Day" make-up artist either forgets or is suffering from hangover as an alien comes out dressed as Ben Franklin!
written by Bureau, 25 October 2013
Next "Jackass Show"
Men and women race over who can carry a raw egg in a spoon back and forth to their partners ten times. Winner gets real Jackass. Losers each take a kick.
written by Bureau, 25 October 2013
Surgeon salesmen? Doctors profit from devices they put in patients
Insiders say that it's a small device placed near heart with tiny coin meter. Fee acts as a tip whenever you visit doc.
written by Bureau, 25 October 2013
Sources: Word of alleged rude GOP comment came from WH deputy chief of staff
Phrase "I cannot stand to look at him" came from GOP Senator who always looks toward the person next to the President.
written by Bureau, 25 October 2013
Favre reveals 'scary' memory loss
"I remember hitting that pitch directly toward the place I had pointed but I was just stretching", he tells reporters. "Yankees will be a lot better next year so look out!"
written by Bureau, 25 October 2013
Former NSA Director Overheard Bashing Obama Admin
Has us buggers bugging the whole world and then they act so innocent!
written by Bureau, 25 October 2013
Teaching assistant accidentally emails nude photos of herself to class
"They were meant to go to boyfriend but I forgot and sent out 65 to wrong addresses!"
written by Bureau, 25 October 2013
Teachers' unions fight bill that would prevent sex offenders from working in schools
Claim it could cause several schools to close down.
written by Bureau, 25 October 2013
Fired Airport Security Agent Rats on Bosses
"While you're checking in, parked car is being bugged by NSA Buggers.
written by Bureau, 25 October 2013
Woman strip-searched, tossed in jail for overdue traffic ticket.
Another because driver's license had older pic before lady lost 40 pounds.
written by Bureau, 25 October 2013
Nations Using Klingon To Fool NSA Buggers
"We need to hire someone from Klingon as soon as possible", says Joe Biden. "Isn't that near Fairbanks?"
written by Bureau, 25 October 2013
Poll Shows Obama Rediculed
The NSA says that 41 of 50 bugged nations are passing around latest President Obama jokes. "And I hope the Buggers play it back to him!", says Merkel.
written by Bureau, 25 October 2013
NSA Regrets Bugging 50 Nations
"We apologized yesterday to Germany's Angela Merkel. The lady wearing the pink underwear today accepted our apology", says White House spokesman.
written by Bureau, 25 October 2013
More states warn against Obamacare frog
Sorry. That should be "Obama Scare fraud...Obamacare Fraud! I
written by Bureau, 25 October 2013
Dems on Obamacare website woes: Fix it, don't nix it
According the the latest NSA Buggers recordings.
written by Bureau, 25 October 2013
Merkel calls Obama about hacking suspicions
"If you want to know exactly what I called him, check with the NSA buggers!"
written by Bureau, 25 October 2013
Obama: Never admit that you were wrong
The Obamacare individual mandate is back in the headlines, & this time it's linked to Obamacare's troubled website. But don't look for the controversial insurance requirement to go away anytime soon.
written by Bureau, 25 October 2013
Mayoral politics threaten NYC horse-carriage rides
Politics ruins still another 'fun' in a citizen's life. U.S. Government running out of control.
written by Bureau, 25 October 2013
Letter bomb sent to chief constable
The device had a Westminster postcode and the word "pleb" was used in the accompanying note. Police are planning to speak to Andrew Mitchell.
written by John_L, 25 October 2013
Year After Storm, Victims Contest Christie's Status.
Christie: I blame George W. Bush. Notice that storm completely missed Texas.
written by Bureau, 25 October 2013
IRS says refunds will be late, blames shutdown.
Also blame shutdown for Washington lose 90% of brain power, common sense.
written by Bureau, 25 October 2013
ABC Buys Comedy About Father With Alzheimer's
NBC counters with comedy about child that has autism.
written by Bureau, 25 October 2013
