Spoof news snippets from Wednesday 12 September 2012

Remains of Richard the III found in Leicester

Bad news for Charles, he drops further down the waiting list.

Richard the III body found in car park

The body of King Richard the III has been discovered under a car park in Leicester.
Better than being found in a Merc in a tunnel in Paris like other royals.

Richard the III found in Leicester

The body of King Richard the III has been discovered under a car park in Leicester.
The body was discovered by Gary Lineker who was digging for crisps.

High Street store to launch a more sexy shop

A popular high street clothes shop is launching a store that sells sexy underwear and toys for the imaginative.

"We're going to call it TK-MaXXX," said a spokesman.

BAE & EADS in Possible Merger

Giant weapons manufacturers BAE Systems could possibly merge with the European company EADS to be called BEADS it was announced today.

"Sweet Caroline" Replaced in Boston!

For the rest of the season Red Sox fans will be encouraged to sing-along with Bobby Valentine in a spirited rendition of "Over the Rainbow" at Fenway Park.

Cockney Steps on "Richard III"

A Cockney builder claims to have stepped on a "Richard III". The Richard III was deposited on a footpath on the Thames embankment by a stray dog and it took him 3 hours to clean it off his shoes.

King's Body Found

The body of King Richard the 3rd has been discovered under a car park in Leicester. The discovery came after an archaeologist had a hunch.

Prince William Wants Children

The Duke of Cambridge let slip today that he would like to have 2 children but if he has triplets, he would like one of each!

Anti-Aircraft-Cameron

David Cameron will allow people to build what they want in their back gardens without planning permission. Three words. Anti-Aircraft-Gun!

Up the spout!

Prince Whotsisname wants to have two children with his wife, Kate. Is that before or after Harry gives her triplets I wonder?

Man Utd fans attempt to commit mass suicide!

After hearing of Robin van Persie's injury masses of Man Utd fans tried to jump off of the railway bridge, but they had a guardian angel; Balotelli who saved them by throwing his money in the air!

Perverting the Course of Justice

Yorkshire Police are teaching students of criminal law how to deal with those who pervert the course of justice. The Sun will be assisting.

Pakistan's Example

The Government is studying encouraging information from Pakistan on how to deal with burdensome health and safety regulations.

Mayan Calendar Message Revealed for Red Sox

Experts re-reading the Mayan calendar now realize that the glyphs show empty seats at Fenway Park in 2012, not an asteroid as originally thought.

Inseine's BOOK OF THE DAY 131

"I dig it Man!"

A Richar 111 dig under Coventry car park finds human remains.....probably last car park ticket warden!

Drink-driver aged just 14 is pulled over by police

The 14-year-old boy was stopped by West Midlands Police.

"Suppose they'll arrange free driving lessons for him as a punishment before he sells his story to the Sun?"

Asda produce the Cameron Chair

It can lie-low, turn 360 degrees, and has an ATM attached.

Cameron half way through Coalition Government

It's depressing, as halfway through the Coalition Government, we don't know what Cameron is for yet - except cuts, centralisation, and privatisation.

Union Bosses in Call to Occupy Public Buildings!

Selectively I hope... we've already got threeteen and a bit million people occupying the benefits offices!