Where's Ecuador?
You'd better find out quick before it ceases to exist!
written by j.w., 20 June 2012
Euro 2012 TV Camera Crews Complain That The Football Is Ruining Their Match Coverage
'It's very difficult,' said a spokesman for the Euro 2012 Camera Crews, 'to take those long, lingering shots of every attractive woman in the stadium when we are also expected to film the game.'
written by Swan Morrison, 20 June 2012
Anti-Romney "Protesters" Being Paid To Heckle…
Two protesters said they were getting paid to stand outside of a Romney rally. One woman said she and another man said he was paid $17 per hour. SEIU and David Axelrod were seen leaving the event.
written by Heeke, 20 June 2012
Democratic Party Makes an Astounding Announcement on Mitt Romney
The Democrat Party issued a statement concerning Mitt Romney. Their statement is, "HE'S WHITE," and left it at that. Voters were amazed to find out the Republican candidate is white.
written by Heeke, 20 June 2012
First Lady Charged With Solicitation
Michelle Obama is being charged by the FBI for soliciting money. The First Lady sent out an email to supporters requesting money in $3 increments. The FBI attempts to connect others with the scam.
written by Heeke, 20 June 2012
President Obama hospitalized by Michelle Obama
President Obama is listed in fair condition today after being admitted to Georgetown University Hospital. His injuries are the result of a beating at the hands of First Lady who kept saying "OPRAH!"
written by Heeke, 20 June 2012
The First Lady Challenges Oprah Winfrey to a Deathmatch
Today, First Lady Michelle Obama challenged talk show host Oprah Winfrey to a death match. The First Lady's challenge to Oprah is due to a picture that surfaced showing Oprah groping President Obama.
written by Heeke, 20 June 2012
Late Breaking News Item
The organization Mormons for Obama has declared bankruptcy!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 20 June 2012
Desperate Democratic President Seeks Votes
President Obama announced his administration's new policy granting legal status to illegal immigrants who came to the US as children, so he can garner Latino votes!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 20 June 2012
Publicity Seeker
The Reverend Al Sharpton and 15 marchers picketed the NYC Parks and Recreation Department, claiming discrimination because all the restroom paper towels are white!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 20 June 2012
27 Pinocchio's for Obama
President Obama claims Republicans haven't lifted a finger to create jobs. It's SML Reid (D-NV) that has given the finger to 30 House Republican passed jobs bills, blocking them from the Senate floor!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 20 June 2012
Nightmare on Pennsylvania Avenue
WH leaks indicate President Obama has decided not to run for reelection in 2012. Joe Biden will head the Democratic ticket with his VP designate being former President Jimmy Carter!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 20 June 2012
Clever Marketing Strategy
Government Motors Corporation (GMC) sales of all model cars have increased by 100% since the traditional new car smell was replaced by the scent of a woman!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 20 June 2012
If it exists the Governor Taxes it
Maryland's Governor wants to replace VP Joe Biden on the Democratic ticket. Maryland taxpayers are between a rock & a hard place. They want the governor to leave, but Joe has never looked so good!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 20 June 2012
Political Plumbing
Presidential Press Secretary Carney admitted they had to call Republican Joe the Plumber to stop all the national security leaks coming from the White House!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 20 June 2012
Constitutionally Yours
US Supreme Court agrees to hear the case of Madison v Democratic/Republican Parties. Madison claims that all the left and right political rhetoric is "cruel and unusual punishment!"
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 20 June 2012
Home Foreclosures Explained
Government forces banks to provide low interest rates, no down payment and people overbought. People can't make the payments, expecting other taxpayers who made payments for 30 years to bail them out!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 20 June 2012
Democratic President Seeks Votes
President Obama announced his administration's new Criminal Rights Activist Program (CRAP). Criminals can now sue for damages, if injured during the commission of a felony!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 20 June 2012
President Slept Through Constitutional Law Class
Political advisor Piston-rod says Obama desires a Constitutional amendment limiting corporate free speech. The US Constitution prevents the federal government from abridging the rights of the people!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 20 June 2012
UN Can't Solve Syrian Crisis
UN WHO declares eating poop may be hazardous to human health and calls for warning labels!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 20 June 2012
Apt Resolution
KKK chapter asks ACLU's help to adopt a portion of Georgia highway 515 to perform cleanup chores. Local farmers plan to route all their leaky manure trucks onto this stretch of road!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 20 June 2012
