Eric Cantona to run for French president
The seagulls will follow his campaign trawler, I mean bus.
written by radiogagger, 09 January 2012
David Cameron admits he plays Angry Bird pc game
Shocking! That's no way for a Tory PM to talk about Mrs Thatcher.
written by radiogagger, 09 January 2012
Queens grocer in christmas hamper backlog
Two weeks late and still some Fortnum & Mason christmas hampers not delivered - perhaps they should rename them 'Olympic hampers'
written by radiogagger, 09 January 2012
Like Everyone Else Romney Once Worried About Getting Fired
Unlike everyone else, Romney worried about getting fired from his job of firing people.
written by manbrad, 09 January 2012
2.5million people watch BBC christmas day programmes on i-player on
It's not the same without the turkey though...
written by radiogagger, 09 January 2012
Worral-Thompson apologies for theft.
"I never mean't to steal all this publicity. It's quite clear I need help" he said after journalists found him begging outside an Oxfordshire train station.
written by radiogagger, 09 January 2012
Cameron backs curb on executive pay
Prime Ministers pay unaffected.
written by radiogagger, 09 January 2012
Worral-Thompson arrested for stealing big cheese
"He thought it was Jamie Oliver's career" says shrink
written by radiogagger, 09 January 2012
JLS star buys 50k car for fiance
Rumours Anthony Worral Thompson has been sending Marvin begging letters have been denied.
written by radiogagger, 09 January 2012
Tesco reveal poor christmas sales results
Turns out Anthony Worral Thompson lifted all the profits.
written by radiogagger, 09 January 2012
FA Cup team news: Arsenal v Leeds United
Thierry Henry on the bench alongside Theo Walcott.
"Thierry - didn't you used to be famous?"
written by radiogagger, 09 January 2012
Lib-Dem's biggest donor is arrested!
Michael Brown, The Liberal Democrats' biggest donor, who bankrolled the party with £2.4m of stolen money, was detained near the resort of Punta Cana on the Caribbean island this week.
"Ha ha ha!"
written by Inchcock, 09 January 2012
Man Made Global Warming Has Prevented Ice Age
The Campaign for Optimistic News Headlines also produced, this week: 'Tsunamis Lead to Better Constructed Nuclear Power Stations', and 'Global Recession Promotes Public Understanding of Economics'.
written by Swan Morrison, 09 January 2012
Tempus Fugit!
Recent reports that Prof Stephen Hawking could not attend his own 70th birthday celebration because he was 111 are not correct. The reports should have read that he was ill.
written by IN SEINE, 09 January 2012
Anthony Worrall-Thompson's Recipe for Welsh Rarebit
… First, take some cheese.
written by IN SEINE, 09 January 2012
Famous TV chef get's his fingers stuck in cheese at Tesco's!
Antony "Wally" Thompson has been nicked for shoplifting cheese at Tesco's. The hard up chef claimed innocence because he said he got his fat fingers stuck in the holy cheese, amen!
written by unknown
Curb on Boardroom Pay
David Cameron has announced a curb on Boardroom pay coming in when he has climbed Mount Everest
written by j.w., 09 January 2012
Crocodile. snakes, and lizards stolen from Stockport!
Around 100 exotic animals - including a 5ft crocodile. snakes, and lizards - were swiped in a pet shop raid on a Stockport Pet shop.
"Very PETulant!"
written by Inchcock, 09 January 2012
Cameron Tells off NHS Nurses
Cameron told the nurses off about lack of patient care problems, (being under-staffed and overworked) for which he and his ministers are responsible.
"I really hate that man, and his nepotistic cronies!"
written by Inchcock, 09 January 2012
Brad Pitt say limp and cane due to busted knee, Viagra "accident" suspected instead
Limping with a cane, Brad Pitt appeared along side Ms. Jolie at a recent gala. Pitt claims he broke his daughter's fall and tore his ACL. Insiders say: "Bollocks! Popping too much Viagra is to blame!"
written by Lyndon, 09 January 2012