Belgium so cold Manneken-Pis pisses ice cubes
Temps in Brussels got so low that that little guy who pisses back behind Grand Place started pissing ice cubes. No more beer for him until it warms up.
written by Lyndon, 05 February 2012
Chelsea throw away 3 goal lead v Man United!
It ain't over till the fat lady sings -
Or until the grumpy scot tells the bald referee to blow up...
(Final score Chelsea 3 Man United 3)
written by radiogagger, 05 February 2012
Coronation Street Star Helen Flanagan Says She'll Never Do Reality TV
No love, forget the reality tv, and just stick to wearing your skimpies for FHM photoshoots.
written by radiogagger, 05 February 2012
FBI Fear Further Phone Hacking
'We think a call relating to the investigation of the hacking of a call relating to the investigation of the hacking of a call relating to the investigation of hacking, was hacked,' said a spokesman.
written by Swan Morrison, 05 February 2012
Departure Of Chris Huhne Confirms Politically Acceptable Behaviour For UK Politicians
'Adultery is absolutely fine for a cabinet minister,' confirmed a spokesman for number 10. 'Infringement of traffic regulations, however, will not be tolerated.'
written by Swan Morrison, 05 February 2012
Huhne's resignation is just the first act!
Roll on Act 2 where he commits Harakiri on his front door step!
written by Herrdoktorfox, 05 February 2012
London's Big Ben is leaning - Parliament is sinking!
Well the morals of the MPs inside the building have been sinking for years!
written by Inchcock, 05 February 2012
God Calls It a Day!
After creating a period of 24 hours which would repeat itself until the end of time, God decided to call it a day.
written by IN SEINE, 05 February 2012
Boris is off!!
Having said he would stop at nothing to get London's Olympic Games running on time, Mayor Boris has apparently decided that he is now going on an extended holiday while the Games begin. No bullshit!!!
written by whatinthe world, 05 February 2012
Is Davis Cameron the least popular leader ever?
Come on, Blair and Brown must tie for that title surely!
written by Inchcock, 05 February 2012
Drivers are suffering "dashboard dread"
Halfords study: The vast array of buttons, knobs and switches baffles them.
1 in 3 admitted to "dismay" if a red light flashed, and 2 in 5 did not recognise the brake system alert light.
"Worrying!"
written by Inchcock, 05 February 2012
Deadly Gold Potassium Cyanide - Gone missing!
Two packages of potassium cyanide, which produces the killer gas hydrogen cyanide if it comes into contact with water, have gone missing from Enthone's site in Sheerwater, Surrey.
"Oh 'eck!"
written by Inchcock, 05 February 2012
2,698 weapons taken off the streets of London in just four years
High-powered machine guns are among 2,698 weapons taken off the streets of London in just four years.
"Well that's a start!"
written by Inchcock, 05 February 2012
UK Voting intention Poll - 4th February 2012
Conservatives 39%
Labour 39%
Lib-Dems 10%
Other 11%
"Who do they ask in these polls? Have you been asked?"/i]
written by Inchcock, 05 February 2012
"Compared to 6 months ago how has your household's financial situation changed?"
People from the UK, US and China were asked this. The net score is charted from the percentage who say "Better" minus the percentage who say "Worse".
UK: -25%
US: -15%
China: 0%
"Interesting?"
written by Inchcock, 05 February 2012
Tories beg PM to axe business bungler Cable!
Tories are urging David Cameron to sack Vince Cable as Business Secretary - because he is stunting economic growth.
"I see!"
written by Inchcock, 05 February 2012
Chris Huhne's Severance Payment
The £19,000 cash is available after he quit his Cabinet minister job to fight a criminal charge of perverting the course of justice.
"Oh... I want to be sick!"
written by Inchcock, 05 February 2012
Arsenal 7 Blackburn 1
By way of punishment, Blackburns owners have cancelled the tradional KFC bucket for the bus-trip home.
written by radiogagger, 05 February 2012
Roseanne Barr plans to become US President
She's filed official papers as she bids to win the nomination for the Green Party. She is calling for marijuana to be legalised and wants war abolished.
"Sounds fair enough to me!
written by Inchcock, 05 February 2012
India tells Britain: We don't want your aid!
India's Finance Minister has said that his country "does not require" British aid, describing it as "peanuts".
The Telegraph
"Fair enough!"
written by Inchcock, 05 February 2012
David Laws to return to 'big government job' within months
Telegraph: Coalition sources have revealed they expected Mr Laws to be a "major feature" of a wide reshuffle being planned by David Cameron for late spring or early summer.
"Makes you sick dunnit!"
written by Inchcock, 05 February 2012
A Hadrian's Wall-style border might have to be built to stop illegal migrants flooding into England!
The potential side-effects of Scotland breaking away are outlined in a Foreign Office memo leaked to The Mail on Sunday.
The Mail: Hadrian's Wall?
"Fair enough!"
written by Inchcock, 05 February 2012
Ed Miliband: we have just three months to save the NHS
The Labour leader says that the worst option would be to press on with the bill so that the government can save face.
"We'll see what happens - what can he do? What will he do?!
written by Inchcock, 05 February 2012
MPs have splashed out more than £1million on portraits and sculptures!
Vain MPs have splashed out more than £1million on portraits and sculptures of famous politicians for the Commons as the rest of the country struggles to make ends meet.
"Bless the little....."
written by Inchcock, 05 February 2012
William Hague to meet with UN Official Leon Holmes - Iran crisis
Mr Hague has not yet arranged a hotel bedroom for the meeting.
written by Inchcock, 05 February 2012
David Beckham: My naked modelling days are over!
David Beckham has announced his days of appearing naked are over - and admits his children hate seeing his underwear adverts.
"Oh...!"
written by Inchcock, 05 February 2012
Network Rail gives executives £4 billion bonus!
Network Rail (who get £4billion subsidies) gives executives £15.6million bonus.
Network Rail Executives bonus
"Fancy that!"
written by Inchcock, 05 February 2012
Dozens killed after football riot erupts in Egyptian stadium
Telegraph 2 Feb 2012: More than 70 people killed in worst outbreak of football violence in Egyptian history following match in Port Said.
"Horrendous!"
Over 80 die in football riot! Horrendous!
written by Inchcock, 05 February 2012
Political Experiment - Unexpected Results
An Indiana couple, 1 republican and 1 democrate, give birth to a libertarian. Many Constitutionalists like Ron Paul think this might be the key for getting this country back on track.
written by Jack Goff, 05 February 2012
Man Starves To Death On McDonald's Diet
Michael Moore, film producer died while creating a film about the new McDonald's diet. He claimed to be able to eat as much as he liked and still lose weight. Autopsy reveals he had a giant tapeworm.
written by Jack Goff, 05 February 2012
Man Almost Killed Then Saved By Spoof Snippet
Jack Geoff, a KY. man read a funny snippet on spoof and choked on a hotdog. Because of his quick thinking he read another snippet and laughed up the hotdog and then took a deep breath, avoiding death.
written by Jack Goff, 05 February 2012
People Cheer Obama For Saying The Truth
Hacker group Anonymous hacked into the Whitehouse teleprompter program and replaced all the lies with the truth. Witnesses said Mrs. Obama stated, "For the First Time in My Life, I'm Proud of My Man"
written by Jack Goff, 05 February 2012
Green Cars And Dumb People
Betty, an Alabama woman is suing General Motors. She accuses them of making her feel stupid because of the way the Chevy Volt hides the gas cap each time she stops at the gas station.
written by Jack Goff, 05 February 2012