Hannah Opens The Door!
Environmentalist Darryl Hannah has become the first actress to use recycled plastic for her plastic surgery yesterday in Hollywood.
written by Bureau, 27 February 2012
Castrations To End?
Germany asked to stop castrating sex criminals, selling their genitals on eBay!
written by Bureau, 27 February 2012
Sperm Bank Cutting Back
Sperm Bank workers in Atlanta, Georgia ask for four-day week. "It may be OK for unmarried young guys but when you're 32 and married, making change at the window all day can be rough", says spokesman.
written by Bureau, 27 February 2012
"This Is Just The Start!"
Paleontologists riot over monkeys accidental burning of "Origin Of Species" books!
written by Bureau, 27 February 2012
Lonesome Dove Cry
Cry of the lonesome dove brings tears, turds to park bench occupier.
written by Bureau, 27 February 2012
Greece accuse Merkel of being a Nazi!
The corrupt Greeks have dressed up Merkel in a Nazi uniform and accused her and Germany of being a bunch of Nazis. If being a Nazi is giving the Greeks a 130 billion Euro bailout, then SIEG HEIL!
written by unknown
We're Afraid Too!
A Californian state representative says that the people in his state are just as afraid of a middle east war as everybody else. It's just that they can't look worried anymore because of all the botox!
written by Bureau, 27 February 2012
Odor In Phoenix
Strange Garlic-Like Odor Sickens Phoenix Residents...especially those pale ones you only see at night.
written by Bureau, 27 February 2012
Taliban Disagrees With Iran
Taliban claims responsibility for 4.0 earthquake along New Madrid Fault in Missouri last week.
written by Bureau, 27 February 2012
Shortest Man Missing?
Nepalese man, 72, declared shortest person ever, missing. Crowd told to check the bottom of their shoes!
written by Bureau, 27 February 2012
"Gercha'"
Labour MP John Woodcock 'assaulted' on late night train,welcome to the real world arsewipe your mob started the era of lax-law and order so live with sweetheart!
written by Herrdoktorfox, 27 February 2012
Ratatouille
Sedated patient attacked by rat in Epsom hospital...is there no end to these 'mickey mouse' Heston Blementhal recipes?
written by Herrdoktorfox, 27 February 2012
Cruise Liner Adrift
Costa Cruises liner adrift after fire on board. Cruise liners now more dangerous than serving with UN troops stationed in Afghanistan.
written by Bureau, 27 February 2012
Muslims Ignored
Michigan Muslims all but ignored by GOP candidates. "Waste of time with 'you know who' in the White House", says Romney supporter.
written by Bureau, 27 February 2012
Putin Assassination Plot?
Russian media: Putin assassination plot foiled. Jury still out on why this story was released just before election time, when it happened a year ago.
written by Bureau, 27 February 2012
GOP Jack-Rabbiting Starts
As gas prices rise, GOP candidates step up attacks...putting the pedal to the metal!
written by Bureau, 27 February 2012
Iranian film wins Best Foreign language film at Oscars
This is absolutely nothing to do with the fact that we want their oil (and nuclear weapons) said an US government spokesman.
written by radiogagger, 27 February 2012
We'll Have These Moments To Remember
Moments to remember from Oscar 2012? We'll have all four of them on The Spoof later today.
written by Bureau, 27 February 2012
New WikiLeaks Revealed
WikiLeaks publishes security think tank emails. For example, "We're already out of beer in here" and "Farting contest at 6:00 PM this evening!"
written by Bureau, 27 February 2012
Economists see more reasons for optimism this year!
Especially with lower gas prices, peace in the Middle East, cost of groceries and drugs dirt cheap.
written by Bureau, 27 February 2012
Where's Obama?
Bill Clinton, Helmut Kohl, EU, US Navy SEALS among Nobel Peace Prize nominees.
written by Bureau, 27 February 2012
sama bin Laden's Pakistan home reduced to rubble!
Be prepared to bid on a piece of history on eBay any day now.
written by Bureau, 27 February 2012
Won't Allow Churches To Be Moved
Santorum says he doesn't believe in separation of church and state. "There's a church in every state now."
written by Bureau, 27 February 2012
Obama: Not My Fault!
U.S. water bills to triple...$6.00 a gallon for gas...$1.00 for postage stamps on the way.
written by Bureau, 27 February 2012
Let Them Grow Hemp!
Many southern states in the US want to be able to grow and sell hemp. "It would replace our number one business now, Meth Labs", says Tennessee police officer.
written by Bureau, 27 February 2012
Drones Hit In Mid Air Near Military Base
"It's a miracle no one on the ground or in the drones were hurt", says General Gump.
written by Bureau, 27 February 2012
Drones Across America
America is opening up its airspace to....DUCK!!...Drones!
written by Bureau, 27 February 2012
Brain Dead?
China calls US critique on Syria 'super arrogant'. US calls China 'super-duper arrogant'. North Korea asks, "Then how does that leave us?"
written by Bureau, 27 February 2012
Credit Card Debt Nears Toxic Levels.
Yet, majority of Americans still get new ones in the mail every day.
written by Bureau, 27 February 2012
UN Sees Trouble Ahead In Iran
UN sees spike in Tehran's uranium production...stupidity.
written by Bureau, 27 February 2012
IRAN: 'Ready to wipe Israel off map'
But it's so small they are having trouble spotting it.
written by Bureau, 27 February 2012
Some WikiLeaks Being Questioned
Israel, Kurdish fighters destroyed Iran nuclear facility, email released by WikiLeaks claims. Also, trained dolphins sank thirty-three Iranian gun ships, Joan Rivers has never had a facelift.
written by Bureau, 27 February 2012
UK Out Of Money?
George Osborne: UK has run out of money. But don't worry, so has everyone else.
written by Bureau, 27 February 2012
Farrakan Warns Race Hate Puts Obama Life In Danger
Head of Mormon Church warns religious hate puts Romney life in danger. Jeremy Wright warns that "the chickens have come home to roost!"
written by Bureau, 27 February 2012
Hacking Latest: 56 cases settled so fat by News International
829 potential victims of whom 231 are 'uncontactable.
Do you think they changed their mobile number for some reason?
written by radiogagger, 27 February 2012
90 year old Mandela Discharged From Hospital
In related news, his discharge is on ebay.
written by radiogagger, 27 February 2012
EPL: Norwich 1 Man United Veterans 2
Goals from 68 year old Giggs and 66 year old Scholes keep 99 year old Sir Alex Ferguson happy.
written by radiogagger, 27 February 2012
Jackson doctor Conrad Murray refused early release
Celebrities with a 'tablet habit' breath a sigh of relief all over America.
written by radiogagger, 27 February 2012
Oscars: Jennifer Lopez has wardrobe malfunction
I knew it was worth staying up to 4am (UK time)
written by radiogagger, 27 February 2012
Oscars: 'The Dictator' Dumps Ashes on Seacrest
Have Simon Cowell and Ryan fallen out?
written by radiogagger, 27 February 2012
Adam Sandler sets record with 11 Razzie nominations
And The Artist wins best film and three other Oscars.
Just putting that thought out there Mr Sandler.
written by radiogagger, 27 February 2012
New plea for George Osborne to cut fuel duty!
"Plea! To George Osborne? Ha!
written by Inchcock, 27 February 2012
5m people are being overcharged for gas and electricity!
Some pay up to £330 a year more than their neighbours - despite using the same supplier and equal amounts of energy.
When informed George Osborne said: "Mmm, I believe so!"
written by Inchcock, 27 February 2012
Petrol prices 22 per cent higher than in 2010
When reminded of this George Osborne replied:
"Yes!"
written by Inchcock, 27 February 2012
Britain's battle plans in case of conflict with Iran!
The Army, Royal Navy and RAF will have roles if hostilities are triggered by president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's nuclear stand-off with the world.
"Along with the Sally Army, Boy Scouts, and the NHS"
written by Inchcock, 27 February 2012
George Osborne: We have bounced back from recession!
Britain has escaped a return to recession and is bouncing back towards prosperity, key economic data will show this week.
"Tell that to the 3.4m unemployed mush!"
written by Inchcock, 27 February 2012
Sainsbury's staff 'stole hundreds of pounds worth of Nectar card points'
Customers had hundreds of pounds of Nectar points stolen amid claims that staff secretly swapped their cards for blank ones at the till.
"But they don't use free unemployed staff like wot Tesco do"
written by Inchcock, 27 February 2012
Program Cancelled
The Food Channel to cancel "Those Leftovers From College Dorm's Summer Break"
written by Bureau, 27 February 2012
Cruise Cuisine
Cruise liners warn passengers to watch what they ate at stops they make on the islands. Sure enough one passenger said later that his box of candy stated: May contain nuts: Peanuts, cashews, monkeys.
written by Bureau, 27 February 2012
Jimmy Carter Discusses Billy
In latest book, Jimmy Carter stated that he was always embarrassed at fancy restaurants when Billy would ask the passing violinist if he knew "Rocky Top".
written by Bureau, 27 February 2012
Obama Plays Race Card
Obama Launches 'African Americans for Obama' Sunday. Can "Mormons For Mitt", Catholics for Santorum", "Freedom Fighters for Paul" be far behind?
written by Bureau, 27 February 2012
