Hear Them Coming From A Long Way
Early T. Rex ancestor found in South America. Experts say these did not run upright but probably hopped after fleeing food.
written by Bureau, 26 February 2012
Let Me Tell You, Honeylamb!
South Carolina says she's tired of baby-sitting North Carolina's brats while they're off playing basketball during that March Madness every year.
written by Bureau, 26 February 2012
If no GOP candidate acquires enough delegate votes by Convention, 100% of Republicans will be pissed off: study
In a study released by Harfold State College, 100% of Republicans across the country would be fucking rip-shit if no GOP candidate acquires the 1,144 delegate votes necessary to lead the party.
written by Lyndon, 26 February 2012
Kim: Wiley Too Slow
Why did late North Korean leader, Kim Jong-il, name younger son as his replacement? Insiders say they had a falling out over Road Runner/Wiley Coyote cartoon.
written by Bureau, 26 February 2012
New Geraldo Special
Geraldo Rivera to do FOX Special on the rise in the number of pythons in the Florida Everglades, "FROM THE INSIDE OF BIG SNAKE!"
written by Bureau, 26 February 2012
Doctors: Flu Season Just Beginning
Puzzled, over 100,000 people ask: "Then what is this crap we've been suffering through"
written by Bureau, 26 February 2012
Obama: 'No Quick Fixes to This Crisis'
"Also, no quick fix on national debt, peace in Afghanistan, Iraq and you name it!"
written by Bureau, 26 February 2012
Man 'Grows' 6 Inches Through Surgery
Has received over 1,000 telephone calls from men and over 500 from desperate housewives.
written by Bureau, 26 February 2012
Santorum: 'A Lot' of People Have No Desire for College
"and, with my plan, I will see that they will succeed!"
written by Bureau, 26 February 2012
No Hung Jury Here
Arrested Mexican drug lord made his first appearance yesterday before a headless jury.
written by Bureau, 26 February 2012
No, Let Me Restate That
Jennifer Granholm: Blaming Obama for big gas prices like blaming the Japanese for their attack on Pearl Harbor.
written by Bureau, 26 February 2012
Republicans Deny War on Women
A top-ranking Republican today denied his party is waging a war on women and said "In fact, we love women...especially when they are barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen cooking our meals.
written by Charpa93, 26 February 2012
Independence, Missouri Changes Name to Codependence, Missouri
The Mayor of Independence, Mo is so fed up with the amount of drug problems the city has, he's decided to choose a city name that better describes the municipality.
written by Charpa93, 26 February 2012
What's HER Pet Name?
New neighbor in Wheeling, West Virginia learns that lady next door calling her husband "The Sausage King" has nothing to do with him ever working for a sausage company.
written by Bureau, 26 February 2012
Hope Virus Hasn't Spread
U.S. Senator says privately that he wondered why Israel hadn't attacked Iran nuclear facilities until a friend of Israel to him, "Wait till they try to launch one."
written by Bureau, 26 February 2012
Bunch Of Prejudiced Bigots
Many teachers say that today's youth are still bigots and filled with prejudice. "Oh, that lot don't ever change", stated one teacher. "They're all alike!"
written by Bureau, 26 February 2012
Royal Suit Dropped
Prince Charles and Camilla say they will not sue photographer who hid and photographed them 'horsing around'.
written by Bureau, 26 February 2012
Beyonce wants '$50 million to be X Factor judge'
Yeah and while were at it, I want $25 million to take over the Jay Leno Show. (even though they paid Conan more not to do it)
written by radiogagger, 26 February 2012
Charles and Camilla leading separate lives.
(Daily Star on Sunday cover story)
Prince Charles and wife living apart. Where have I heard that before?...
written by radiogagger, 26 February 2012
Lin Looking Beyond This NBA Season
NBA player Jeremy Lin says that he hopes he can keep up fantastic play at least until he lands some big commercial endorsements.
written by Bureau, 26 February 2012
95% Losers Saturday Night
Native Americans in Cherokee, NC scalp still more heads at casino last night, as big losers pull out all their hair.
written by Bureau, 26 February 2012
Local Man Getting Help
Area psychologist tells patient that it's not his fault that he doesn't want to take any kind of responsibility for anything.
written by Bureau, 26 February 2012
Obama's Slip Of Tongue
Eli Manning told a friend that President Obama congratulated the N.Y. Giants on Super Bowl win. "He also stated that he was proud of them, even though that's not real football where he comes from."
written by Bureau, 26 February 2012
Amazing Ryan Giggs's secret is SEX!
Ryan Giggs destroyed the souls of Man City and Norwich fans in one foul swoop and afterwards was asked what his secret is; he answered "Sex boyo and plenty of it ask Tom Jones, he's a Sex Bomb too!"
written by unknown
British soldiers seize £32million worth of opium in 48 hours
Well that's the Christmas party sorted out.
written by radiogagger, 26 February 2012
Whitney Houstons 8,000 pills in the last six months
Enough to open her own chemists!
written by radiogagger, 26 February 2012
'Longer curfews and more tags' as crime catches up with PM
And that's just for the MPs arrested in House of Commons bar brawls.
written by radiogagger, 26 February 2012
Sun on Sunday cover story: Amanda Holden: My heart stopped for 40 seconds
How do you think the Dowlers felt Amanda?
written by radiogagger, 26 February 2012
Man paints pictures on to chewing gum
Suppose you gotta have a hobby.
written by radiogagger, 26 February 2012
Arsenal 5 Tottenham 2 *
Looks like it's Stuart Pearce for the England job then.
* And Tottenham took a 2-0 lead before collapsing.
written by radiogagger, 26 February 2012
Students Protest Police Again
Students call NYPD surveillance of Muslims 'disgusting' . Also call non-surveillance before, 'irresponsible".
written by Bureau, 26 February 2012
Marine Wins Jackpot
Marine credits karma for $2.9 million jackpot. Going around singing, "We all shine on!"
written by Bureau, 26 February 2012
Looked Like F. Gump
Man clearly seen holding sign reading "Free The Indianapolis 500" in back of "Occupy Wall Street" group protest.
written by Bureau, 26 February 2012
Ford Sculpture Sent Somewhere
Gerald Ford sculpture destined for Albanian College. I'm sorry, that should be "Albion College".
written by Bureau, 26 February 2012
FOX Expecting Biggest Ratings Ever?
After Bloody Primary, GOP Reconsiders Nomination Rules! Especially, after the announcement of a tag-team wrestling match on FOX next week
written by Bureau, 26 February 2012
Protesters Like Children?
Anti-Putin protesters form human chain in Moscow : "RED rover, RED rover, we dare Putin over!"
written by Bureau, 26 February 2012
Of Raids & Rockets
Israel raids south Gaza after rocket attacks! THIS is "News"?
written by Bureau, 26 February 2012
Bin Laden Compound Leveled
Pakistan begins demolition of bin Laden's compound. "He had us looking for a better one when he was shot, anyway", says Pakistan official.
written by Bureau, 26 February 2012
Snakes Alive!
Are pythons overrunning the Everglades? Some experts now say no. Others say, "Look out! Big one right behind you!"
written by Bureau, 26 February 2012
Vet Gets No Help
WWII vet says nobody helped after he was carjacked. "Glad none of these wimps were with us when we were fighting Hitler", he tells press.
written by Bureau, 26 February 2012
"That's Right, We're Bad!"
Goodyear recalls 41,000 Wrangler Silent Armor tires after tires refused to be "silent", spilling their guts to new owners.
written by Bureau, 26 February 2012
Taiwan police bust pigeon-kidnapping ring
Seven people have been arrested in southern Taiwan for allegedly kidnapping dozens of racing pigeons for ransom, police said.
"Coo... blimey!"
written by Inchcock, 26 February 2012
Trolley woe as girl gets head stuck on supermarket trip
Rather than helping to free her, amused Tesco shoppers saw the incident as an opportunity to take some pictures with their mobiles.
"Alcoholism has many traits!"
written by Inchcock, 26 February 2012
Bottom Warmer Warning
Bottom warmers in cars may ease frigid winter commutes, but dermatologists warn that extended exposure to seat heaters can lead to a skin condition called technically, "A Burned Ass"!
written by Bureau, 26 February 2012
Denny's Shown A Decent Meal
Man charged after cooking own meal at Denny's claims that he was just trying to show them how to cook a decent meal without 10,000 calories.
written by Bureau, 26 February 2012
Obama Looks Into The Future
Obama Talks Gas Prices, Clean Energy at Campaign Stop in Florida! "With more cars off the road, the air we breathe will be better, the food we eat, should we be able to afford any, be healthier."
written by Bureau, 26 February 2012
