Bad Headline Number 88
Health Department Wants Mayor's Ear
written by IN SEINE, 20 September 2011
Republicans, Jews forced to like one another in midst of Obama's stance on Palestinian statehood bid
The GOP and Jews aren't hating on one another recently, with both giving President Obama grief on his stance on Palestine. It's unclear if they will elevate the relationship to "strange bedfellows".
written by Lyndon, 20 September 2011
17 year-old Robin Hood in Germany gives himself up!
An English boy lost in the German woods around Berlin lived the life of Robin Hood with his dead dad, Little John, and now he's given up because his green tights were too small!
written by Jaggedone, 20 September 2011
Sarah Palin Speaks Her Moose Hunting Mind
Sarah Palin said that she did not watch the last GOP Presidential Debate or as she called it The Legend of Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs.
Michele Bachmann Forgot Just Exactly Where The Hell She Was
Michele Bachmann's Hair Spray Across The Nation Bus Tour stopped in Milwaukee where she told a crowd she plans to close down the beer breweries. Police quickly dragged her ass back on the bus.
Jon Huntsman Denies The Rumor That He Does Not Run His Household
Jon Huntsman said that he had to take a day off from his political campaigning due to the fact that it was his day to do the laundry and vacuum the house.
Mrs. Ron Paul Has Gotten Used To The Peace and Quiet
Rick Perry stated that when he gets through kicking the other seven candidates asses, they'll all go running back to their wives and families. Mrs. Ron Paul reportedly said, "Thanks Rick. Shit!"
Cheryl Cole to join West Ham
Celebrity wife of Carlton Cole, Cheryl, is to join her striker husband in a new two pronged attattack following West Ham's 0-0 draw v Millwall. Their goal is to score on the pitch.
Electric Companies in for a Shock
Chris Huhne, Energy Secretary, has got tough on Power Companies. They are to be gassed or electrocuted if they put prices up again - unless they think increases are unavoidable.
Dates sold off
Dates which had gone past their best were being sold off at bargain prices at supermaarkets today.
Vick claims decision to summer in Afghanistan on the up and up
Michael Vick claims his decision to spend future summers in Afghanistan has nothing to do with the fact that dog fighting there, although technically illegal, is a major gambling sport.
written by Lyndon, 20 September 2011
Ethnic Warfare for Democratic Votes
Crybaby in Chief Obama, speaking to the Congressional Hispanic Caucus Institute blames the DREAM act failure on Republicans. First he plays the race card, then class warfare card & now ethnicity card!
Commissar Obama Creates a Socialist State
The president's plan is to tax the rich entrepreneurs/job creators, print & spend money, promote racial & ethnic hostility, & over regulate to further destroy jobs, thus strangling the US economy!
LONE RANGER: President Obama wants rich people to pay their fair share. TONTO: If this clueless president were to pay his fair share, he would resign for speaking with a forked tongue!
President Obama's Vision
Obama wants to spend the assets of all 308 million Americans. One administration official acknowledged that the plan represented the president's "vision," and not a "legislative compromise."
You Thought China Was Bad Enough
2011 has been a busy year for UFO sightings, especially those coming from Mars. WH Press Secretary Carney indicated the Martians are only keeping an eye on the $4 billion they loaned Pres. Obama!
What No Greek Olives
President Obama tries to keep Greece from defaulting by buying 1000 years worth of Ouzo, Pita, Moussaka, Baklava, Stuffed Grape Leaves, Souflaki, Tzatziki Sauce, Lamb & Olive Oil for the WH pantry!