Christian Broadcasting Network Introduces New Sitcom
"The Big Bang Is Just A Theory" premieres September 22.
written by manbrad, 19 September 2011
Badly paved road
Leeds council have been criticised for laying chickens down on footpaths instead of concrete slabs. "It's not our fault," said a spokesman, "Perhaps we shouldn't have gone to peck pavers."
written by IainB, 19 September 2011
Multi-culti twins born in UK are Ebony and Ivory!
Twins born in Bristol UK are real "multi-culti", they're black and white. Stevie Wonder and Paul McCartney are re-releasing Ebony & Ivory in their honour. Stevie needed a Wonder, he's hard up!
written by unknown
Sarah Palin Clears Up The Black Round Ball Player Matter
Sarah Palin says the new book about her is nothing but lies especially the part of the black basketball player. She noted that there are no blacks in Alaska and especially none that play basketball.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 19 September 2011
Dick Cheney Says Do Not Blame Me For The WMD Lies
Dick Cheney is now saying that George Bush, Donald Rumsfeld, and Elisabeth Hasselbeck made up the cockamamie story about the so called weapons of mass destruction.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 19 September 2011
Rick Santorum Is Good At Ass-Kissing 101
Rick Santorum's The Foot In Mouth Express Bus Tour pulled into Boise, Idaho, where he told a crowd of four gathered at a French fry processing plant that he loves French fries and eats them daily.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 19 September 2011
Herman Cain Be One Mad Bro Fo Sho Nuff Uh Huh
Herman Cain says that he does not appreciate Sarah Palin trying to take the black basketball player vote away from him.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 19 September 2011
Meat Producing Farmers in Uproar over Pope's Decision to Declare Meat Penitence
Farmers unions have projected a slump in global meat sales by 15% following the Pope's decision to declare a meat penitence on Fridays
written by IN SEINE, 19 September 2011
French Jail Man for Praying in Street
Following the French ban on prayer in the street, a man has been jailed for shouting "Oh mon Dieu, Oh mon Dieu, Hallelujah, Oh mon Deiu!" The man claims to have spiritual Tourette's syndrome.
written by IN SEINE, 19 September 2011
NATO jets readied as UN imposes 'No-fly zone' over Basildon
Basildon Council reacts to UN ruling by imposing 'No-Fly-Tipping Zone' over Dale Farm.
written by pinxit, 19 September 2011
Dale Farm residents offer compromise to Basildon Council in late peace talks
'Substantial discounts' on Lucky White Heather.
written by pinxit, 19 September 2011
Moral Failure
Getting found out about screwing the maid at that hotel maid for free was a mistake. My moral failing is hereby noted. I should have given her a few dollars and a buch of flowers.
written by j.w., 19 September 2011
MP sacked for doodling anagrams!
He was caught doing anagrams of Members of Parliament.
Mom's far Impenetrable
Impermeable frost man
Impermeable man's fort
PM flee a 'em brainstorm
Impersonal fat member
Mainstream MP bore elf
written by Inchcock, 19 September 2011
Senior Citizens version of 'The Dwarfs' Marching Song' released
Heigh-ho, heigh-ho
It's off to work we DO NOT go
We keep on singing all day long
Heigh-ho Heigh-ho!
Hahaha!
written by Inchcock, 19 September 2011
Man utd 25-Chelsea 24; and they were just the misses!
In an astonishing spectacle Man U beat Chelsea 25-24 and they were just the misses. Torres missed the miss of the century claiming he slipped on a worms head so did Rooney; it was the same worm!
written by unknown
The New and Improved Kirstie Alley
Kirstie Alley, who has recently lost 100 pounds, was asked if she had any comments regarding her tremendous weight loss. She said that it is so neat to once again be able to she her hooha.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 19 September 2011
Lady Gaga's Latest Outfit May Contain An Unsafe Ingredient
Lady Gaga's brand new sperm whale costume has been recalled due to the fact that it may contain some mercury.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 19 September 2011
LeAnn Rimes Says She Is Now Down To 63 Pounds
LeAnn Rimes stated that she is proud of how much weight she has lost. She confessed that she is now wearing her 10-year-old cousin's hand-me-downs.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 19 September 2011
Chaz Bono Formerly Known As Chastity Bono
Chaz Bono who will be appearing on Dancing With The Stars says he wants to prove that a fat boy can dance just as good as a fat girl.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 19 September 2011
North Korea's Kim Jong Il Is Shopping Around For A You-Know-What
One of the national news agencies reported that Kim Jong Il had allegedly called up Glenn "Crybaby" Beck and asked him if he knows where he could purchase a missile. Beck told him to look on eBay.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 19 September 2011
Lisa Marie Presley Is Serious About Not Being A Chubster
Lisa Marie Presley who has gotten chunky lately says she's making a big effort to lose weight. The daughter of the King of Rock - Elvis Presley, says she's already cut out eating five Big Macs a day.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 19 September 2011
The Return of Brett Favre?
Brett Favre contacted Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones about possibly quarterbacking the Cowboys. Jones reportedly told him that he'll consider it if he (Favre) promises to stop crying so much.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 19 September 2011
Kanye West and Chris Brown - Just Like Two Peas In An iPod
Kanye West has emphatically denied that he and Chris Brown have agreed to record an album together titled, The Spoiled Bratty Bros of Hip Hop Rap.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 19 September 2011
Tax and Spend Liberals
The Democratic governor of Maryland predicted that Pres. Obama will win reelection in 2012. The comment was made while he was blaming Pres. Obama's $4 trillion deficit on former Pres. Bush's deficit!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 19 September 2011
Democratic Donor Alert
Have you given money to the Democratic Party? You may be entitled to compensation via a government loan guarantee. Call 1-800-STI-MULUS and ask for Barack. Call now!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 19 September 2011
Obama's Crony-Gate Theme
Impeach me, my sweet embraceable House of Representatives. Impeach me, you irreplaceable Senate. I'm afraid you'll have to take the consequences Mr. President. My sweet impeachable you!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 19 September 2011
Problem Solved
EPA locates the source of air pollution in the US. It turns out not to be cows, but rabid environmentalists breaking wind because they are so full of themselves!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 19 September 2011
Corruption
Government politicians being in bed with unions or business is unhealthy. You rub my back, I rub your back subsequently leads to something more corrupting!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 19 September 2011
Leading From Behind
The WH national security adviser says the US took the lead in recognizing the cause of the rebel government in Libya. Then why did President Obama procrastinate for weeks and say nothing?
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 19 September 2011
US Economy has no Relation to Obamanomics
US economy is like a privately owned railroad that carries paying passengers, no passengers the train doesn't run. Pres. Obama wants to expend fuel to run the train empty, hoping passengers hop on!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 19 September 2011
More of the Same
NYC Mayor Bloomberg predicts riots in the streets if the economy doesn't create more jobs. Then why give Pres. Obama's jobs plan kudos, it is the same overtaxing & overspending that hasn't worked?
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 19 September 2011
The Right Job Fit
EXLAX has offered President Obama a job as head of product marketing when he leaves office in 2013, because of his expertise in over regulation!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 19 September 2011
End of Economic Insanity
The US Psychiatric Association has declared liberalism a mental disorder and has asked that the entire Obama administration be committed to a mental hospital for treatment!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 19 September 2011
Health Choice
Foreign governments and the UN denigrate the US health system. But, when there is a disease or health problem somewhere in the world, guess where they come for help?
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 19 September 2011
Obama Mucks Up US Foreign Policy Again
President Obama has managed to put Israel in one corner and the Palestinians in a second corner in the UN arena. Meanwhile the procrastinator in chief/referee has knocked himself out!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 19 September 2011
