Breaking News Update on Missing Aruba Woman
At a news conference in Aruba today investigators said they had breaking news and a major update on the missing woman. They then announced the breaking news update was that they had run out of leads.
written by Lola Heatherton, 14 September 2011
Jalil Name Change Mooted
The head of Libya's National Transvestite Council wants to change his name from Jalil to Jill.
written by j.w., 14 September 2011
Mitt Romney Has Seen Michele "Hair Spray" Bachmann Up Close
Mitt Romeny says that no one can really tell unless they are standing right next to her but he revealed that Michele Bachmann has a moustache, a goatee, and a crooked-as-hell landing strip.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 14 September 2011
Rick Perry Says Ron Paul Is One Old Son-of-A-Gun
Rick Perry said that Ron Paul is so old that he was around when Texas was still a part of Mexico.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 14 September 2011
Jon Huntsman Is Starting To Seriously Think About Going Away
Jon Huntsman has about as much chance of winning the GOP presidential nomination as Joan Rivers has of getting her old muffin touched by Clay Aiken.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 14 September 2011
The Reason Herman Cain Does Not Like Michele Bachmann
During the last GOP debate Herman Cain brought Godfather's Pizza for all the candidates except for Michele Bachmann. When asked why he said "Cos da flaky bitch said she prefers Pizza Hut."
written by Abel Rodriguez, 14 September 2011
Next Year's Edinburgh Fringe Sponsor Revealed
Wayne Rooney will be sponsoring next year's Edinburgh Fringe. "It's going to be called Rooney's Fringe," he said. "I thought I might as well, now I've got one."
written by IainB, 14 September 2011
Vegetarian Suicide Bomber
Muslim funamentalist suicide bombers are told to expect 72 virgins on death; Thomas Harto, the vegetarian suicide bomber, who destroyed a turkey farm in Dorset, misheard this as 72 vegans.
written by IainB, 14 September 2011
Retired baseball player can post bail only after selling penthouse
Former slugger Manny Ramirez, arrested for spousal battery, posted $2,500 bail today. Struggling to raise the bail money, Ramirez learned that his Boston penthouse had finally sold for $5.5 million.
written by Lyndon, 14 September 2011
