General Opposition
A Spoof star has generally joined the Opposition in a move likely to bring the Government to its knees. An UNmotion has meant a no try zone has been implemented and the Government is about to collapse
written by j.w., 21 March 2011
Lady Gaga going bald and losing her pubes too!
Lady Gaga has admitted she's going bald because of too much chemical warfare on her head and too much pussy licking downstairs, damn cats!
written by unknown
Penguins can fly, it's a fact!
Pete the penguin has solved the secret that many scientists refused to accept, penguins can fly! One was seen on a US flight marching up and down the gangway, what a shame he didn't get his wings!
written by unknown
What day is it today?
"I've often found myself unsure what day of the week it is" admitted Prime Minister David Cameron this morning when referring to Rebecca Black's popular YouTube song 'Friday'
-Yes,we'd noticed that!
written by Tommy Twinkle, 21 March 2011
Oldest man in world (145) asked his secret.
He answered, "Formaldehyde".
written by unknown
First get laid, then get stoned.....
Advice for blokes of all ages. If your girlfriend's kicked you out, and you're down on your luck, stressed, and sexually frustrated, try a hooker followed by a hookah. Works for me.
written by attilathehungry, 21 March 2011
Horror Writer Stephen King Loses The Plot
He really should start drinking again.
written by Skoob1999, 21 March 2011
Fernando Torres Couldn't Score In A Brothel...
He'd probably drive it high and wide.
written by Skoob1999, 21 March 2011
Is Foul Language Behind The Decline Of 21st Century Civilisation?
Oh, do fuck off!
written by Skoob1999, 21 March 2011
Stones Finally Giving up the Ghost With Upcoming Farewell Tour
The Rolling Stones, rock music's oldest and most enduring group, has announced its retirement from touring. Next year, they're planning one final go-round, calling it the "One Foot in the Grave Tour."
written by C. Lance the Freelance, 21 March 2011
Jockey forgets horse.....
Irish jump jockey Paddy O'Feckit lined up for the start of the Gold Cup looking for his mount. "Dat's a damned shame to be sure", he said, "I guess I should've left that last pint of Guinness".
written by attilathehungry, 21 March 2011
Icelandic Pixie confronted by strongman.....
World's Strongest Man, Icelandic cross-dresser Dragnus Dragnusson found himself in hot water when he told pop singer Bjork she was "an ugly, annoying, attention-seeking cow". Seems fair enough to me.
written by attilathehungry, 21 March 2011
MP's to have their very own McDonald's.....
In an unprecedented move, McDonald's are to open a special fast-food outlet in the House of Commons. Said a spokesman: "They all talk a load of crap so it seems appropriate that we should feed them".
written by attilathehungry, 21 March 2011
Ignorance is bliss.....
Following a visit to a dairy farm, a group of primary school children was asked by their teacher where milk comes from. "Please Miss," said little Jonathan, "Tesco's and the Co-op".
written by attilathehungry, 21 March 2011
End of world is NOT nigh....
Despite all rumours to the contrary the End of the World is NOT nigh for the simple reason that it has already happened. Yes folks - you're living in The Matrix!
written by attilathehungry, 21 March 2011
