Wayne Rooney fined for swearing in City Centre
Mr Rooney's solicitor said; "We tried to go to trial, and asked that it be held in camera! In the end we just paid the £60 fine, despite it affecting my clients financial status!"
written by Inchcock, 09 June 2011
Sarah "The Geography Goddess" Strikes Again!
Sarah Palin was asked to comment on the Arizona wildfires. She paused for a moment and then replied that she hopes that they don't spread to Alaska.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 June 2011
Who The Hell Made Donald Trump King of America?
Donald Trump continues to get out of hand. He has now asked to see Congressman Anthony Weiner's birth certificate, his list of campaign contributors, and a urine sample.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 June 2011
Tina Fey Was Not Impressed With Sarah Palin
Tina Fey says she saw Sarah Palin do an impersonation of her impersonating her and it was horrible...she was holding the rifle stock in the wrong shoulder.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 June 2011
Charlie "Tiger Blood Boy" Sheen Speaks Out About Tony Weiner
Charlie Sheen was asked to comment on the Anthony Weiner controversy and he replied, "Well I gotta say it...Weiner's wiener is a winner!"
written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 June 2011
Helicopter Mystery Revealed !
The reason why the US Seals were not detected by Pak radars was that they had all been fired directly onto Laden house by the Super duper canon USC 1199PD currently deployed in Iraq.
written by Kaleepeare, 09 June 2011
The Wombles top Glastonbury because nobody else wants to!
The Wombles have been signed to top Glastonbury and their founder Mike Batt (very batty) has promised at least one real British winner to come out of Wimbledon, at last!
written by unknown
Economic Alert...
Bernanke gives cautiously optimistic 2nd quarter assessment: "I forgot to replace the batteries in my calculator."
written by Michael Balton, 09 June 2011
Obama Pledges to Bail Out Greece!
Taxpayers tell Bamsky, "You don't have a big enough pail!" as unemployment tops 9% with no end in sight. "Sink Obama in 2012' now at top of worker's 'bucket list."
written by unknown
Lady Ga Ga 'Friends' Anthony Weiner!
Claims the pair have 'a lot in common', declares Weiner had an unfortunate
ward robe malfunction which left him exposed on Twitter during solo stand up comedy routine.
written by unknown
Seth Batter says FIFA has $1B in the Bank!
The tight fisted Swiss "Big Cheese" insists on being 'comped' for Olympic
trip including hotels, food, limos, and best seats in the house. Says "It's not my fault cheap bastards only got 1 vote!"
written by unknown
NHS Says They'll Come in 'Under Budget' this Year!
"we're lucky, more people are dying in the hallways relieving the pressure on our doctors. Waste disposal is up, however," says British health care chief
Percy Moribund, who also owns a crematorium.
written by unknown
Massage a trois Scandal Threatens Duke of Yuk!
Former sex surrogate to Jeff Epstein claims Prince Andrew knows more than he's telling about full body massages."there's more to him then a stiff upper lip' says the woman now living in Australia!
written by unknown
Prince Harry Jokes With Chelsea Pensioners
Something about piss and cabbage.
written by Skoob1999, 09 June 2011
Weiner Seeks Marital Advice from Clintons!
Bill tells him to avoid a stain on your character, 'get a good dry cleaner."
Hillary says, "you can't win this one Anthony, whether you take it out or leave it in, you're an A-H, just like Bill!
written by unknown
Huma Weiner Pregnant!
Said Mr. Weiner, " the one time I take it out of my pants, this happens! If I didn't have bad luck, I wouldn't have any at all!"
written by unknown
D-Day on Normandy Beach Comes and Goes Un Noticed!
The event foreshadowed the liberation of Europe and went quietly into the night on June 6, 2011 with hardly a mention of remembrance: 9387
American Servicemen buried there were left 'speechless!
written by unknown
Smoking When Pregnant Is Bad For You
Won't do the baby much good either.
written by Skoob1999, 09 June 2011
Imogen Thomas - "I've had it with footballers."
Quite a few of them if the papers are to be believed.
written by Skoob1999, 09 June 2011
Britain Gobsmacked over US Falklands Position!
Attempts to get through to the White House over their support for Argentina was bogged down when operators only spoke Spanish. Seems "Press 2 for English" is not an option for Obama!
written by unknown
NASCAR Fighting Is Overshadowing The Racing
Lately NASCAR has seen so many fights between race car drivers that they are seriously thinking of merging with the World Wrestling Federation and becoming NASCHAIR.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 June 2011
The Egyptian Pyramid That Was Not
Archaeologists who said they had discovered a pyramid in Iowa are now admitting that it is a fake. They checked a little bit closer and found out that it was actually made from recycled corn cobs.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 June 2011
Arkansas Is Most Definitely On Top Of Things
Arkansas is thinking about issuing a proclamation outlawing sexting. They are also considering issuing a pre-proclamation to try and find out just exactly what the hell sexting is.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 June 2011
Feds Now Looking into Weiner's Financial Statements!
Banking regulators claim Weiner may have secured loans due to 'over stating assets" and using money to 'cover his shorts' while trading on margin.Weiner claims he was trying to keep up with inflation
written by unknown
The Not-So-Well-Known Tim Pawlenty Has A Very Good Plan
Congressman Anthony Weiner has become so widely well known that GOP presidential primary candidate Tim Pawlenty is seriously thinking of asking him to be his 2012 running mate.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 June 2011
Buy Me Some Popcorn and Cracker Jacks
The Iowa High School Association has ruled that baseball players will no longer be allowed to spit on the playing field. Violators will be fined $200 and forced to break up with their girlfriends.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 June 2011
Bill O'Reilly - The Original Spin Doctor
GOP talk show host Bill O'Reilly has just stated that he plans to receive his Spin Doctorate Degree from www.college some time this year.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 June 2011
Madoff VS Weiner Contest Shapes Up!
eBay banking on Weiner's underpants will bring in more than Madoff's after recent Fed Auction of scammer's "pesonal assets".
written by unknown
Liberal Democratic Economic Success
Goolsbee to resign as chairman of the Council of Economic Advisors, who Obama called "one of America's great economic thinkers." No mind the US has a 9.1% unemployment rate and a $15 trillion debt!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 09 June 2011
Corrupt Politicians Explained
Who in their right mind wants to run for a US political office? Your background will be trashed in the liberal media & you must live in a fish bowl. No wonder we get narcissistic 39th pick candidates!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 09 June 2011
New Political Comedy Act
Former Senator Edwards (D-NC), Representative Weiner (D-NY) & former Governor Schwarzenegger (R/D-CA) to form a political comedy act. The move was necessitated to pay their exorbitant attorneys' fees!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 09 June 2011
No More Free Lunch
When government entities levy 50% in taxes, fees and tolls on 50% of the population to support the other 50% of the population, who pay hardly anything, an issue exists with continuing to work!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 09 June 2011
Pondering the US Election of 2012
The American public needs to be able to distinguish between Democratic left wing political BULSHIT and Republican right wing political BULLSHIT before November 6, 2012.
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 09 June 2011
Career Change
Former Governor Spitzer (D-NY) is now a political pundit for CNN, even though he couldn't keep his wiener in his pants. Representative Weiner (D-NY), may also be looking for a new career opportunity!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 09 June 2011
