Miracle Announced in America
Politician shows his pants on Twitter and still has a job.
written by Katarina Frogpond2, 07 June 2011
Miracle Announced in Germany
Scientist eats a cucumber and a Bean Sprout... and lives.
written by Katarina Frogpond2, 07 June 2011
Woolly Jumpers Deployed to Battle Gas Price Hike
Yes, that's right, jumping sheep will power a treadmill that will provide electricity for half of London. Hurrah.
written by Katarina Frogpond2, 07 June 2011
Toilet Attendant Retires After Thirty Years Service.
Ernest Trump has retired after 30 years as a toilet attendant.He blames anti social behaviour."Nowadays when somebody comes in for a shit it's like a breath of fresh air."
written by Gordon Clarke, 07 June 2011
Man Has Pig's Ears Transplanted.
A man who lost both of his ears to a flesh eating bug has had them replaced with pig's ears.The operation has not been a success though.All he can hear is crackling.
written by Gordon Clarke, 07 June 2011
Elbow To Record New Album.
They may have just released a new album but Elbow are already hard at work on their next venture.They are reworking songs from the musical "Grease."The album will be called Elbow Grease.
written by Gordon Clarke, 07 June 2011
The Man Who Was Hardly Ever Home
A traveling salesman went into a furniture store and told the clerk that he wanted to purchase an occasional chair.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 07 June 2011
A Frown Is Merely A Smile Turned Upside Down Except In...
Due to the fact that Gov. Jan Brewer of Arizona has lost every last bit of her sense of humor all Arizona McDonald's have decided to rename the Happy Meal, the Unhappy Meal.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 07 June 2011
Sarah Palin...The Woman Who Can Burn Jello
When Sarah Palin was asked if she knew who Benedict Arnold was she smiled and replied, "Of course I do silly, he's the guy who invented Eggs Benedict duh."
written by Abel Rodriguez, 07 June 2011
The Two-Year-Old Smoking Boy Is Starting To Shrink
Authorities in Indonesia are reporting the two-year-old smoking boy is already showing signs of stunted growth. They report that his legs have already shrunk down to the size of Danny Devito's legs.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 07 June 2011
Arizona To Kiss The Yellow Pages Bye-Bye
Arizona Governor Jan "The Man" Brewer is considering doing away with the term Yellow Pages saying that the word yellow gives off a cowardly like connotation.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 07 June 2011
Brit stuffs ham in Muslims shoes and gets roasted alive, metaphorically!
A drunken Brit "racist" stuffed ham in some Muslims shoes while they were praying and after being given a suspended jail sentence claimed Muslims are full of "porky pies", that's worth a fatwa!
written by unknown
Ryan Giggs song banned from terraces by Judge.
He's Welsh, he's red, he's in his brothers bed, Ryan Giggs Ryan Giggs.
written by Rebel Not Taken, 07 June 2011
The North Koreans Will Be Thrilled At Sarah Palin's Nice Gesture
Sarah Palin was asked what she plans on doing with her bus after her Nationwide Bus Tour. She paused for a few moments and then remarked that she plans to donate it to our allies the North Koreans.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 07 June 2011
The Mississippi River Could Be Flowing Backwards
A noted New Orleans weatherman said if a hurricane were to hit New Orleans right now it would shove the flood waters of the Mississippi all the way back up to Minnesota and form a sixth Great Lake.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 07 June 2011
Okay, So Which Witch Is Which?
A woman in Springfield, Massachusetts says that she is a witch and then proves it by saying that she came out of the broom closet.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 07 June 2011
Well You Know What They Say - All Breakfast Cereal Looks Alike
Sarah Palin returned a box of cereal to the store and asked for her money back because it was missing 25 of the letters. The clerk told her that the cereal was Cheerios and not Alpha Bits.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 07 June 2011
More Food for Thought
President Obama has been spoon-feeding Americans his wealth redistribution pap and Michelle introduced the food plate, replacing the food pyramid. The American taxpayer appears to be getting forked!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 June 2011
Liberal Democrats Fiscal Insanity
President Obama wants to tax the 2.5% of Americans making over $250,000 to eliminate budget deficits and reduce the national debt. Arithmetic can demonstrate why Obama's fiscal policies are failing!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 June 2011
Are Spoofers a Vanishing Breed?
Spoofers write inane, silly and sometimes funny stories. Anybody seen various TV commercials lately, mainly consisting of inane, silly, stupid and sometimes funny stuff?
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 June 2011
Moving Out
WikiLeaks is reporting that President Obama has called a moving company to be available on January 21, 2013 if the US jobless rate, gasoline prices and the budget deficits continue to rise!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 June 2011
Seems Economically Reasonable
The US is providing hundreds of millions of dollars of foreign aid to countries that it borrows billions from. Why not just deduct this aid money from what the US has borrowed?
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 June 2011
Obama Administration Debt Policy
A failure to reach a deal to raise the debt ceiling by Aug. 2, 2011 will lead the government to default on some of its obligations and Democrat's won't be able to spend, spend, spend!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 June 2011
Oil is also on the Menu
China has made contact with the Libyan rebels at a Qatar meeting. Chinese diplomats are anxious to get the Chinese fast food concession (no pork), before McDonalds or KFC!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 June 2011
US Unemployment Again at 9.1 %
President Obama said there are still some headwinds that are coming at us. Hailing from Hawaii the president is unable to recognize an oncoming economic disaster tornado!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 June 2011
Road Worker in Chief
President Obama says the US has hit a bump on the road to economic recovery. It appears to be more like a gigantic sink-hole caused by Democratic left-wing ideological economic policy!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 June 2011
Salt Police Out of a Job
New federal government study indicates that consuming twice the recommended daily amount of salt prevents cancer, works better than Viagra and cures acne!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 June 2011
Administrator of the EPA Resigns
President Obama was informed that the administrator's new job is with a large oil company. Instead of generating environmental propaganda for low pay, oil and natural gas drilling pays big bucks!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 June 2011
Get out of My Life
President Obama's Democratic liberal regulation policies are like the busy-body living next door. The president thinks the federal government should have a finger in everyone's pot!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 June 2011
Democrats Do Have a Plan
Write a Democratic liberal left Congressperson about reducing federal spending. Your reply is non-answer pap, how good it is to hear from the constituent and demagogic bashing of Republicans!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 June 2011
Weiner's Wiener
Representative Weiner (D-NY) went to "Nathans Famous" in Coney Island to get a hot dog and all he got was a wiener!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 June 2011
Liberal Democrats Underwear in a Knot
Representative Lee (R-NY) resigned over a bare chest photo he sent to a young lady. What will Representative Weiner (D-NY) do about the "bulging-underpants" photo of himself, he sent to a young woman?
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 June 2011
Investors Flock to Gold
The USDA is reporting that geese sales are up in the current economic climate, as people search for the golden eggs. Department of Commerce reports claim lawn Leprechaun and pot sales are also up!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 June 2011
Media Bias
The tragedy of the felonious John Edwards affair is that this Democrat could have become a US president. The National Enquirer ran the story, not the main stream media. Oh, he wasn't a Republican!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 June 2011
Slime Ball 2011 Award
Former Senator John Edwards (D-NC) has again been named the Slime Ball of the year. Let's hear it for John, a two time loser, who may get a paid federal vacation and a striped suit!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 June 2011
Going Green the Sears Catalog Way
San Francisco CA & Seattle WA have set restrictions on unrequested phone book deliveries. People who request the yellow pages will get book pages with vertical perforations, allowing for other uses!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 June 2011
Just like Your Cell Phone
Another WHO study indicates repeated use of toilet paper could cause rectal cancer. This UN agency recommends keeping the product from making any contact with your body!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 June 2011
Not a Prudent Remedy
City officials are concerned about accidental drowning in swimming prohibited reservoirs. They plan surrounding reservoirs with barbed-wire & land mines to reduce the number of drowning fatalities!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 07 June 2011
