Bill and Ben and a little Weed
Spoof writers, Bill and Ben, have been warned to stay off the Weed. Although their brains are already damaged beyond repair, this is leaving less Weed for the other Spoofers.
written by unknown
New owner of Mircosoft announced.
The new global economy may take a dive today as Mr. Bill Gates lost the company to a Paul Rodriguez of South Beach, Miami in a game of craps behind a nightclub.
written by Zachary Estle, 09 July 2011
Spoof taking drastic measures
The Spoof is taking drastic measures this week to check that all its writers still have a sense of humour. Those found to be lacking will be tickled to death LOL.
written by unknown
Spoof Writers forget where they are
It would appear from some recent stories published on The Spoof that some writers believe they are writing for a serious publication like The News of the World.Men in white coats have been dispatched.
written by unknown
Fat Bastard Eats All The Pies
Motivation uncertain. Maybe that's why he's a fat bastard.
written by Skoob1999, 09 July 2011
The New World
No phones of dead teenagers hacked and messages deleted; no bereived parents of murdered children preyed on; no families of service people killed in action snooped on - until the Sunday Sun rises.
written by j.w., 09 July 2011
Taliban Bomb Layers to Be Issued with High Visibility Jackets
Now they know that British soldiers are not allowed to shoot anyone caught planting bombs, the Taliban are to issue high visibility jackets to its personnel to make it clear that's what they're doing.
written by IN SEINE, 09 July 2011
3 hackers turn themselves in to Cleveland Police. NE England
Three knuckle-heads walked into the Berwick Hills 'branch' of Cleveland Police and placed their axes on the reception desk. (See related story for more details).
written by unknown
The British Army Told Not to Shoot Taliban Mine Layers
Being good solders, they are shooting at the IEDs instead, in the hope of blowing up the mine layer too. That's killing 2 birds with one stone. With Defence cuts, ammunition is becoming expensive!
written by IN SEINE, 09 July 2011
Britain following Dutch regarding dealing with immigrants
Britain is following the Dutch when it comes to dealing with immigrants from EU into Britiain. Anyone not finding work and not learning to speak Dutch within 3 months will be deported.
written by unknown
Top five tablets on the market today
Top five tablets revealed: Xanax, Viagara, Novosporozine, Aspirin and Tylonol for Back Pain (available in US and Canada only).
written by unknown
Man Makes Joke Nobody Gets
"Who gives a shit?" he says. "As long as I get it."
written by Skoob1999, 09 July 2011
Man Suffers Serious Burns
They don't fuck about at the crematorium.
written by Skoob1999, 09 July 2011
"That's Not Funny" Spoof Reader Complains.
"Neither was you giving me one star. Dickhead. Fuck off." replies writer.
written by Skoob1999, 09 July 2011
New Toilet Installation Disappoints Local Man
"It's a shitter," grumbles Martin Shuttlecock.
written by Skoob1999, 09 July 2011
Management Meeting Postponed
To be held next week to reschedule previous postponed meeting.
written by Skoob1999, 09 July 2011
Management To Schedule A Meeting
To reschedule an earlier meeting which had been scheduled to discuss the postponement of a previous meeting.
written by Skoob1999, 09 July 2011
Devonians Blame The Cornish For Everything
"We're just pasties here!" Cornishmen protest.
written by Skoob1999, 09 July 2011
Justin Bieber's Balls Drop
Flood damaged snooker table failure blamed.
written by Skoob1999, 09 July 2011
Jenson Button Denies Mystery Blonde Rumours
"Nothing to do with me. Who is she anyway?"
written by Skoob1999, 09 July 2011
Luka Modric Staying Put Insists Redknapp
"I've nailed his f*ckin' feet to the floor."
written by Skoob1999, 09 July 2011
Torn Between Two Lovers
Wenger flummoxed as Fabregas flies to Barcelona and Nasri flies to Manchester.
written by Skoob1999, 09 July 2011
Arsene Wenger's Got No Nose Claimed Refuted
He's got an effin big nose, allege West Ham fans.
written by Skoob1999, 09 July 2011
Manchester City To Take Over NOTW
New fanzine format paper to be called News Of The Blues.
written by Skoob1999, 09 July 2011
Vampire Nightmare Continues
Didn't wake up until almost daybreak.
written by Skoob1999, 09 July 2011
Company Floats On Stock Market
Steppins Inc promises maximum returns for minimal investment.
written by Skoob1999, 09 July 2011
Football Fans Issue Advisory To Crap Journalists
"Know your subject," they say.
written by Skoob1999, 09 July 2011
Unemployment offices in England to open 24/7
As a result the closing of the NOTW, unemployment offices in England will remain open 24/7 to cope with the anticipated increase in traffic.
written by unknown
Mystery Blonde Spotted With The Man On The Bike
Both parties deny it.
written by Skoob1999, 09 July 2011
Typewriters up for sale as newspaper 'goes under'
657 typewriters will be up for sale Sunday evening when The News of the World goes out of business.
written by unknown
Mystery Blonde Refuses To Reveal True Identity
Says: "Wouldn't be a mystery then, would it?"
written by Skoob1999, 09 July 2011
Rebekah Brooks changing her name
Rebekah Brooks is changing her name to Rebecca Brookes in an effort to hide from the media.
written by unknown
Mystery of Mystery Blonde is Mystery no more
The mystery blonde of Spoof stories is no mystery. A spoof writer got a good look at 'her' face-on and it turns out that SHE is actually a HE searching for points.
written by unknown
A nation is born
The people of South Sudan were celebrating today after their new nation was created, despite the fact that it was immediately added to the UN list of failed states.
written by MonkeyInTheBath, 09 July 2011
Premature Ejaculation?
A new sport has been created for those in government involving leaping over rifles. It is known as "Jumping the Gun." With all these cuts, it is not known how long this sport will be able to continue.
written by IN SEINE, 09 July 2011
Edinburgh floods damage properties
Officials say the floods are responsible for almost one million pounds worth of improvements to the area
written by Les Being, 09 July 2011
The End is Nigh
Rupert Murdoch is getting religion and asking for forgiveness as he realises the end is nigh. The only trouble is his prayers have been hacked and will be in the News of the World on Sunday.
written by j.w., 09 July 2011
Oprah Winfrey and Her Favorite New Perfume
Since her talk show ended, Oprah Winfrey has really gotten carried away with her eating. Her close friend Gayle King said Oprah's favorite perfume is now Ode de Bacon.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 July 2011
John Goodman Will Never Want For Food
John Goodman has gotten so fat that he has just installed a drive-thru window in his bedroom.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 July 2011
Well So Much For That Theory
Ann Coulter - Living proof that eight hours of beauty sleep a night might not necessarily work worth a damn!
written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 July 2011
Arizona Continues To Be The Leader In Looniness
Arizona has just passed a law making it illegal to email a photo attachment of an enchilada.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 July 2011
Texas Governor Rick "Sure Shot" Perry Can Hit A Woodpecker's Pecker at 1000 Yards!
Texas Governor Rick Perry told an aide that he would love to go hunting with Sarah "The Bitch" Palin and Dick "The Bigger Bitch" Cheney.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 July 2011
The State of Rhode Island Has Just Hit An Amazing Milestone
The Rhode Island Department of Statistics has announced that with Brucey, Biffy, Nicky, and Timmy moving out of Rhode Island to New York there are now officially no gays living in the entire state.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 July 2011
Elton John - "Got Milk?"
Elton John said that in his early teens he drank so much milk that the neighborhood kids called him The Dairy Queen.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 July 2011
Six of One - Half Dozen of The Other
After years of back and forth deliberations the Minnesota Senate has decided to change the name of the twin cities from Minneapolis - St. Paul to St. Paul - Minneapolis.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 July 2011
Wynonna Judd Does Tell It Exactly Like It Is
Wynonna Judd said that if it wasn't for elastic pants, elastic blouses, elastic bras, and elastic shoes she'd be up shit creek without a paddle.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 July 2011
Michele "Woody" Bachmann Is Coming...To Town
The GOP presidential race is getting kinda nasty. Tim Pawlenty told Michele Bachmann that he's more recognizable than her. She replied by saying that she has a bigger bulge in her pants.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 July 2011
The Job Killer in Chief Speaks
Pres. Obama espoused BULLSHIT for 10 minutes about the 9.2% unemployment rate. He should have said I am delaying EPA regulations & ESL, approving the Canadian oil pipeline & all US oil/gas drilling!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 09 July 2011
The Prevaricator in Chief Speaks
Former House Speaker Pelosi (D-CA) said that Social Security and Medicare are not on the negotiating table. Still appealing to her loony left wing base, she currently has no power in the US House!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 09 July 2011
Obama's Economic Policy Insanity Continues
Pres. Obama wants more stimulus (taxpayer) money to support construction workers (union) & tax increases. Never mind $800 billion, cash for clunkers & his other spending programs were utter failures!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 09 July 2011
Pretty Soon You're Talking Big Bucks
Where will President Obama find $4 trillion in cuts? As a start; renting out the WH Lincoln bedroom, selling Michelle's vegetables, grounding his Boeing 747's and driving a 2011 Ford Smart For Two!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 09 July 2011
Don't Mess With Texas
Texas takes offense to the UN saying it violated international law. The UN has been given 24 hours to leave the USA or the Texas Rangers will be riding up First Avenue in Manhattan to evict them!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 09 July 2011
