Conservatives/Liberal Democrat Government Prove They Are Poor
The UK government is so poor that they can no longer afford to pay attention to those who have elected them.
written by IN SEINE, 06 July 2011
Balotelli is a wannabee gangster, he's got the T-shirt to prove it!
Moronic Man City hooligan, Mario Balotelli, is a wannabee gangster so he flashed off his latest T-shirt to prove it. The Mafia were unimpressed and offered to cut off his head and stick it in his bed
written by unknown
The Story of Arnold "The Love Child Father" Schwarzenegger
Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked by his soon-to-be-ex-wife Maria Shriver if there are any more love children around. He replied, "Well...it all depends on what your definition of children is."
written by Abel Rodriguez, 06 July 2011
The Reason Why Older Women Are Flocking To Nevada
Nevada in an effort to encourage more tourism is enacting a law that all women over the age of 60 will automatically receive the TSA pat down.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 06 July 2011
Glenn "Baby Teardrops" Beck Can Now Shed Some "Real" Tears
Well it appears that now Glenn Beck really does have a darn good reason to cry...no more show!
written by Abel Rodriguez, 06 July 2011
Kim Kardashian's Butt X-Ray Is Only The Tip of The Iceberg
Well first Kim Kardashian X-rayed her butt to prove that it's real and now many people are asking Sarah Palin to X-ray her brain to prove that it's real.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 06 July 2011
Princess Diana phone hacked
"Last message" found in hacking papers. "I'll tell you what Dodi, if this bloke don't slow down soon we'll have an accide…..……………………
written by Les Being, 06 July 2011
Charlie Sheen won't sponsor the Olympics
The Olympic committee have decided not to allow Charlie Sheen to sponsor the Olympics, because he insisted that everybody be a winner, and that would make the top podium rather crowded.
written by IainB, 06 July 2011
Kangaroo Court
Australian Rupert Murdoch is worried he will be tried by a kangaroo court.
written by j.w., 06 July 2011
Aussie Hacked
I hacked the phone of Aussie sheep farmer, Rupe Murdoch. He has told Andy Coulson he is to be the sacrificial lamb.
written by j.w., 06 July 2011
Rebekah Brooks to be new voice of Tom Tom
Turn left here, and remembers, you never heard that from me. You get lost and I'll deny everything
written by Les Being, 06 July 2011
Rebekah Brooks mobile hacked
Her answer phone message says; "If that's you Glenn Mulcaire I've never heard of you, call me on my landline"
written by Les Being, 06 July 2011
Asda puzzled by theft of 300 trolleys from Basildon branch
In other news, Basildon man makes fortune selling 300 mobile BBQ's
written by Les Being, 06 July 2011
Food prices going up
Pot noodle shortage sparks riot in Basildon Aldi's
written by Les Being, 06 July 2011
Fergie to star in new US TV show
It's called, Who cares about that fat ginger pisshead?
written by Les Being, 06 July 2011
Rebekah Brooks outraged at hacking allegations
She said; "That little shit Glenn told us we would never get caught, how could he tell such a lie? This is the worst thing to happen since my mum spelt my first name wrong on my birth certificate"
written by Les Being, 06 July 2011
Gary Busey Chooses Between Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann
Gary Busey said if he had to chose between marrying Sarah Palin or Michele Bachmann, he'd marry Palin. He said that at least Sarah could go out and shoot their breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 06 July 2011
Kathy Griffin Is Keeping A Very, Very Big Secret
Kathy Griffin has secretly admitted that she does not like gays and lesbians but she does not dare reveal that fact because 90 percent of her fans are gays and lesbians.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 06 July 2011
The One Phone Call That Joan Rivers Dreads
Joan Rivers has had so much plastic surgery done to her face and body that she is always subject to having some part of her recalled.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 06 July 2011
"Don't Look Down!"
The Bravo Network will soon introduce a new reality show called Scared Mountain Climbers Rehab.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 06 July 2011
The Reality Show To End All Reality Shows
The FOX Network plans on introducing a new show in the fall. It will be called, Okay So Which Famous Celebrity Has A Love Child?
written by Abel Rodriguez, 06 July 2011
Moose Bites Can Cause Vocal Cords To Shrink
Little Sasha Obama asked her mom if Sarah Palin has ever been bitten by a moose. The First Mama smiled and replied, "Not yet honey, not yet."
written by Abel Rodriguez, 06 July 2011
Ron Paul Wants The Gays To Stay In Gay Places
GOP presidential candidate Ron Paul says that not only is he against gays marrying, he is also against gays dating, joining the military, and appearing on Glee.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 06 July 2011
Kirstie "The Cougar" Alley Tells It Like It Is
Kirstie Alley says the reason why she dates younger males is because she is after all 60, and most guys 60 and older are married and don't want to fool with a high-maintenance bitch of 60.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 06 July 2011
Maria Shriver Says That Some of The Signs Were Certainly There
Maria Shriver says she should have figured something was going on the day she caught Arnold and Mildred up in the family room playing leap frog in the nude.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 06 July 2011
Tim Pawlenty - The Male Sarah Palin? Hmmm
Tim Pawlenty says he wants voters to look at him as a male version of Sarah Palin but without the lipstick, gunpowder smell, and extreme hatred of moose.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 06 July 2011
No Love Lost Between Whoopi and Lizzy
The View's Whoopi Goldberg says sometimes the little GOP cracker Elisabeth Hasselbeck pisses her off so much she wants to bite her. Hasselbeck says that if she does she'll taser her black ass.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 06 July 2011
Compared To "El Guac" The Taliban and Al Qaeda Are Boy Scouts
Mexico's notorious Green Guacamole Drug Cartel has issued a warning to both the Taliban and Al Qaeda that they are to stay out of Arizona, as Arizona belongs to "El Guac."
written by Abel Rodriguez, 06 July 2011
What did Forest Gump's Mother Say?
A woman who was using a home oxygen tank suffered serious burns after police said she fell asleep while smoking in bed. Let's hear it for those new FDA graphic cigarette pack warning labels!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 06 July 2011
Experience is a Factor
A Democratic or Republican president can be surrounded with smart people. However, if the decision maker has no background in a subject, how can they judge when smoke is being blown up their butts?
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 06 July 2011
Some Politicians Will Swallow Anything
Words you do not want to hear from a president, governor or mayor before they read a piece of legislation, "if you put it in front of me I will sign it!"
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 06 July 2011
It's Time for Term Limits
The US Founding Fathers relied on Mother Nature ensuring Congressional member's terms in office were limited. Since US life expectancy has significantly increased, term limits must be enacted!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 06 July 2011
Only Wide Horizontal Stripes
Former IL Governor Rod Blagojevich may be spending the next few years in a prison. The IL correction system has refused his request for custom made vertical black and white pin stripe uniforms!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 06 July 2011
Not Greek Salad Days
Pericles an Athenian politician, general and statesman during the city's Golden Age remarked, "By Zeus, our descendants have really managed to screw up Modern Greek civilization by being freeloaders!"
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 06 July 2011
Establishing Relationships
Ideological political appointees of President Obama seem to be clueless when it comes to energy, the US economy & health care. It has something to do with hanging onto the appointers coattails!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 06 July 2011
Predictions
Ayn Rand described in Atlas Shrugged, over 50 years ago, what the policies of the Democratic liberal left Obama administration would do to the US economy. Who is the Republican John Galt?
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 06 July 2011
It's Taxpayer Money, Stupid
The Democratic ideologues in the Executive Branch do not grasp that even if Blue/White traffic signals were somewhat better than Red/Green traffic signals the cost to change would be prohibitive!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 06 July 2011
World Population to Decrease by 2100
PETA, PETV (vegetables) and the rabid environmentalists have reduced human food sources. People have resorted to cannibalism, decreasing the world population from 6 billion to 2 billion people!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 06 July 2011
TSA Philosophy
CONGRESSMAN: My government trusts me with their most valuable secrets. TSA SCREENER: Full body-scan or pat down everybody, especially US Congressmen!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 06 July 2011
New Kids Toy
Small children used to play with a Jack-In-The-Box. Now they play with a Jackass In-The-White-House!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 06 July 2011
Regulating the Regulators
Every new federal regulator hired eliminates 42 private sector jobs. Congress proposed legislation would provide every federal regulator two EXLAX each day to keep them pre-occupied, but harmless!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 06 July 2011
Rebeckaaaah Brooks Presumed Dead
Police have given up all hope of finding Rebeckaaaaaah Brooks alive after she went missing.'We deleted her messages crying for help as it was in the public interest to do so,' said PC Fat Atkins.
written by Alex99, 06 July 2011
