There were 2,077 spoof news snippets published in September 2010. A selection of the best rated snippets is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get all the news snippets from a day in this month.
Biscuit Manufacturers' Conference Breaks Up Unexpectedly
"Crumbs!" Says surprised delegate.
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 29 September 2010
Man Rescued In Wheelie Bin "A Cat Lover."
Lifeboat crews have rescued a man off the coast of Anglesey - in a wheelie bin!
Spokesman said: "When we picked him up he said he went after it because he swore he could hear a cat mewing in it."
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 11 September 2010
University Challenge: apology
The kebabs eaten by Ellis Ian and Mrs Fields while viewing the show were a Jamie Oliver recipe, not Nigella Lawson as stated.
EIF apologises for any distress this error may have caused.
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 01 September 2010
IMF Forecast "Gloomy."
Said spokesman: "I'm just, like, totally fed up with it all. You know? I can't be arsed any more. Ask someone else.
"It's all crap anyway."
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 11 September 2010
Executive Bonuses Back To Pre-Crisis Levels
Said Toilet & Douche spokesman: "That's right - the fat bastards are sticking their snouts in the trough again. Oh, mate - come the fuckin' revolution...!"
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 13 September 2010
Prof Ken Lucid - A Clarification
Ken Lucid's colleagues wish to dissociate themselves from his remarks about brewers in his book review of September 1. "We trust his comments will not affect our supply of Worthington White Shield."
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 02 September 2010
New EC Austerity Measures
Ireland sent to bed without supper, Greece grounded for two weeks. No Playstation for Portugal this weekend.
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 30 September 2010
Soft Drinks Magnate Tops China Rich List With $12bn Fortune.
"Communism's dead good, innit?" He said.
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 30 September 2010
Aldi Vs. Lidi In North America?
Aldi Vs. Lidi In North America? Doubt it. Aldi is the grocery store that smells like old bananas and pee, where Central Americans wait for day-labor work, and no one's heard of Lidi. Shop Rite Wins!
written by anthonyrosania, 24 September 2010
Obama: ...I want to know how she tastes.
Said President Obama, on the retirement of Methuselah, "Helen Thomas looks like Grampa from The Munsters if he had on Bay City Rollers wig. Nevertheless, I want to know how she tastes.
written by anthonyrosania, 23 September 2010
Schools 'axing rugby in favour of yoghurt'
Er, maybe 'yoga' on second thoughts...
written by queen mudder, 24 September 2010
Come, Grow in God's Word and Love. Unless...
"Growing in God's word and love," says a sign outside a Lutheran church in (Insert name of pious, Republicany city here.) "Unless you're a dirty faggot. Then, you know, taste hellfire. Mazel-tov."
written by anthonyrosania, 24 September 2010
Tattooed woman 'told to put bag over head by Jobcentre staff'
Damned kinky these dole queue bandits I say
written by queen mudder, 24 September 2010
The man's got flawless knees.
CNN: The news today is all about some guy named Ahmadinejad and nothing about Hasselhoff getting kicked off DWTS for "bad knees". The man's got flawless knees. Cover Up!!!
written by anthonyrosania, 23 September 2010
Attorney Shawn Chapman Holley Has Karma to Blame.
Shawn Chapman Holley, the attorney who coulnd't keep a millionaire client out of jail on a probation violation, has tasted Karma's backhand. "You were on OJ's defense team? Suffer."
written by anthonyrosania, 25 September 2010
Too Soon?
Tony Hayward yachting in the very water he spilled oil in? Definition of too soon. That's like Elin catching Tiger Woods jerking off. Oh, sorry, UK readers: Wanking.
written by anthonyrosania, 23 September 2010
President Obama: I run on barely concealed rage at my...
President Obama: America runs on Dunkin', I run on Marlboros, two at a time, and barely concealed rage at my absentee father.
written by anthonyrosania, 23 September 2010
She will begin having sex with Magic Johnson at 12:01AM...
Virginia woman set to be executed tonight by lethal injection. "She will begin having sex with Magic Johnson at 12:01AM."
written by anthonyrosania, 23 September 2010
It's NEVER the victims fault when they get raped by a pack of...
"I can't believe Mel Gibson is so insensitive," said lawyers for Oksana Eanqpuenbpefnbf: "It's NEVER the victims fault when they get raped by a pack of... Wait, am I missing the point?"
written by anthonyrosania, 23 September 2010
Ecuador coup d'etat as President Correa's $27 billion Chevron heist bombs
Shades of I Told You So, Rafael, I Told You So!
written by queen mudder, 30 September 2010
I Know Tragedy, Said Senate Hopeful Linda McMahon. "My Daughter Was Once Kidnapped By The Undertaker."
I Know Tragedy, Said Senate Hopeful Linda McMahon. "My Daughter Was Once Kidnapped By The Undertaker."
written by anthonyrosania, 23 September 2010
Falling Speed Camera Convictions.
Police say they will ensure they're bolted down more securely in future.
written by Nick Hobbs, 03 September 2010
Britney Flashes Body Guard.
Body guard sues her. Can't say a lot for her body, really!
written by Nick Hobbs, 09 September 2010
Cheryl Cole Gets £1.50 For New L'Oreal Ads
Because she's worth it.
written by Nick Hobbs, 02 September 2010
A Long Time Ago, In A Galaxy Far, Far Away...
Is exactly where I'd like Katie Price and Alex Reid To be.
written by Nick Hobbs, 02 September 2010
Proof: There Is A God
Writers of 'We Buy Any Car.com' advert struck by lightning!
written by Nick Hobbs, 02 September 2010
Road Line Painter Doesn't Know Which Way To Turn.
He says he's reached a cross-roads in his life.
written by Nick Hobbs, 02 September 2010
Gorilla Kills Six At City Zoo.
Witnesses say he 'just went ape'.
written by Nick Hobbs, 02 September 2010
Obama Outlaws Chinese.
He will only order pizza or hamburgers from now on.
written by Nick Hobbs, 03 September 2010
Ashley Cole Wins Singing Contest.
It must have been The Ex-Factor.
written by Nick Hobbs, 04 September 2010
Tobey Maguire To Play Hamlet?
Tobey or not Tobey, that is the question.
written by Nick Hobbs, 02 September 2010
Local Vets Burns To The Ground.
Onlookers eat hotdogs while waiting for the fire department.
written by Nick Hobbs, 02 September 2010
KFC To Open New Grilled Beef Stores In Russia.
Locals not happy with prospect of KGB restaurants on every highstreet.
written by Nick Hobbs, 02 September 2010
Honduran Shoe Factory Massacre News
Police say victims were laced with bullets.
written by Nick Hobbs, 08 September 2010
Spoof Writer Comments On Vajazzling
Skoob said - Looks very nice and all that, but it still smells like a shit-house door made out of fish boxes.
written by Skoob1999, 22 September 2010
Shock: He's Leaving Friday!
Robinson Crusoe finally splits from life-partner.
written by Nick Hobbs, 02 September 2010
Alex Reid In Prostitute Shagging Scandal!
Oh, wait. No, it was just Katie Price.
written by Nick Hobbs, 08 September 2010
Independent experts to examine David Kelly 'lies'
Good way to waste another five million quid I guess.
written by queen mudder, 24 September 2010
Breaking News...
Glass factory destroyed in massive hail storm.
written by Nick Hobbs, 08 September 2010
Katie Price In Donkey Shagging Scandal!
Oh, wait. No, it was just Alex Reid.
written by Nick Hobbs, 08 September 2010
Honduran Shoe Factory Massacre Latest
Police say it's time the gunmen were brought to heel.
written by Nick Hobbs, 08 September 2010
Honduran Shoe Factory Massacre Update
Police chief says gunmen must have had no sole.
written by Nick Hobbs, 08 September 2010
Wurzel Gummidge Dies In Field Fire.
"It's the last straw" says a devastated Aunt Sally.
written by Nick Hobbs, 08 September 2010
Meat Loaf To Reform.
It will come back as rump steak, without the pastry.
written by Nick Hobbs, 08 September 2010
18 Killed In Honduran Shoe Factory Massacre.
Police believe gunmen may have been given the boot.
written by Nick Hobbs, 08 September 2010
Li-Lo Lies Low On Lilo
Star is said to be all at sea after fresh drug allegations.
written by Nick Hobbs, 27 September 2010
Atheists and agnostics 'know more about religion than anyone else'
Apart from the Serious & Disorganised Crime Agency!
written by queen mudder, 28 September 2010
Bruce Forsythes Wig Sells For 50 Pence At Auction.
Buyer says 'it was a small price toupée'.
written by Nick Hobbs, 27 September 2010
Mel Gibson Weighs in on Koran Burning Debaucle
Mel Gibson announced today that if that panty waist preacher from Gainesville is too chicken to burn the Koran, he can step aside and let a real religious whackjob take over. Then he hit a woman.
written by Charpa93, 11 September 2010
Official: Rooney Has STD!
The Subaru Impreza STd was cheaper than the STi, but underperformed on the corners. Both had leather interior. A bit like that granny he shagged.
written by Nick Hobbs, 08 September 2010
City boss threatened to throw financier out of window
Well, that's one way of dealing with balance sheet bad news!
written by queen mudder, 24 September 2010
Mark Lowton may receive ASBO
There is a rumour on the internet that the editor of TheSpoof.com, Mark Lowton may well-receive an ASBO for painting a sign on his garden gate. It read: "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!"
written by IN SEINE, 05 September 2010
Hacker Stole My Identity!
After going over my personal files, has contacted me begging to take it back.
written by Charpa93, 21 September 2010
Britain Gets Diarrhoea
San Francisco man and fake Royal blamed. Something to do with a blueberry based diet. Brits revert to fish and chips and pie and peas in protest.
written by Skoob1999, 21 September 2010
James Corden To Be A Father
That's no life for a child, having a dad like that.
written by Skoob1999, 29 September 2010
Organic Food Sales Drive Kicks Off
Doomed to failure - public don't really want music with their fruit and veg.
written by Skoob1999, 29 September 2010
Salon Owner Comments on Rose O'Donnell Vajazzling
There aren't enough Swarovski crystals in the world.
written by Charpa93, 23 September 2010
Three-year-olds being labelled bigots by teachers??
Blame Super Nanny!
written by queen mudder, 23 September 2010
UK homosexual population: Just 1.5% of Britons say they are gay, lesbian or bisexual
The other 98.5% of respondents are lying says Gaydar
written by queen mudder, 23 September 2010
Seaman Staines Discharged From The Navy
Claims mistaken identity.
written by Skoob1999, 17 September 2010
Deja BOOM!!!
Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb. It came back with 'Return to Sender' stamped on it. Forgetting it was the bomb; he opened it and was blown to bits.
written by IN SEINE, 05 September 2010
Pixie Lott Distributes Cupcakes* To Fashion Show Guests
*Buns.
written by Skoob1999, 29 September 2010
For Sale:
One Koran, slightly singed. Tel. Florida: 3642 8872 and ask for Terry.
written by IN SEINE, 11 September 2010
Britain's youngest mother,12, evicted 'after throwing up at wild drug-fuelled panties'
Er, should read 'after throwing wild drug-fuelled parties'...
written by queen mudder, 23 September 2010
Vile End To Greek Demonstration.
Peace protest ends in moussaka.
written by Nick Hobbs, 30 September 2010
New Documentary on Tony Blair's Life After Leaving Office to Air in UK
"The Blair Witch Hunt Project" is set to air in fall on BBC. Check your newspapers for local listings.
written by Charpa93, 09 September 2010
Crowd-pleaser Vince Cable risks being urination target, says Alistair Darling
OK, maybe a bit of an exaggeration from the original story, but whaddahell, eh?
written by queen mudder, 24 September 2010
Sarah Palin's husband gets new car for her
Pretty good swap we think.
written by churchmouse, 27 September 2010
Willy Wonka Candy Comes Up with New Candy
Due to the upsurge in popularity in everything Stephen Hawking says these days, Willy Wonka has named a new candy after him. It's called "Hawking Goobers"
written by Charpa93, 04 September 2010
BBC's John Humphrys' abrasive voice used to scare off Old Dears from allotments
Always said he'd missed his true vocation!
written by queen mudder, 23 September 2010
Elderly forced to stand at bus stop because TfL thought the seat generates orgasms
Can't have the oldies tossing off in public, I suppose.
written by queen mudder, 24 September 2010
Milliband Distances Himself from More Famous Brother
Ed Milliband says that he is no relation to Steve Miller band who had a hit in the 70s called "abracadabra".
written by IN SEINE, 30 September 2010
Roman Abramovich digs a £20m hole under Chelsea's Stamford Bridge
Would have been cheaper to give the money away!
written by queen mudder, 24 September 2010
Eating three square meals a day 'a better way to diet than grazing'
WTF? Not if you are a fat, lazy cow hooked on grass!
written by queen mudder, 23 September 2010
Attack on Britain from Irish terror groups a 'strong possibility' says Theresa May
Nah, it's always been Mrs Thatcher's relatives say UK cops!
written by queen mudder, 24 September 2010
Patronising leaflet tells council staff to save money by selling sex
And why not in these recession hit times?
written by queen mudder, 24 September 2010
Bad Headline number 69:
The antique stripper to show off wares!
written by IN SEINE, 25 September 2010
A pig that can walk on two legs discovered in China
A pig that can walk on 2 feet is treated like a local celebrity in a village in China. In London we have thousands of them that used to walk the beat, but due to cutbacks, they day behind desks.
written by IN SEINE, 30 September 2010
Shooting siege barrister was fair game, says police marksman
Chaps down the Station would have ribbed him to pieces for offering a gun amnesty instead...
written by queen mudder, 24 September 2010
Bentley recalls 1,500-strong fleet amid fears retractable 'Winged B' could injure pedestrians
Fortunately the spiked titanium bull bars remain intact!
written by queen mudder, 23 September 2010
'Worst ever' internet paedophile jailed say cops
Oh yeah, what about that bastard on Bebo last week, say angry bloggers.
written by queen mudder, 24 September 2010
Naomi Campbell: I was a doormat at war crimes trial
Everybody knows a blood diamond is a gal's best friend!
written by queen mudder, 22 September 2010
Guys don't care what you look like naked says Julia Roberts
Pretty damning indictment on the state of her love life says current squeeze.
written by queen mudder, 23 September 2010
Sesame St drops 'inappropriate' Katy Perry
Sure must have upset the Trash Heap big time!
written by queen mudder, 23 September 2010
The preparation for health cuts continues.
An NHS leaflet recommends taking thirty winks every afternoon.
written by matthatt, 24 September 2010
The BBC have been broadcasting Chris Moyles and not paying him.
survey suggest that listeners would much rather this were the other way round.
written by matthatt, 23 September 2010
Mystery US millionaire donates $8m to Australian wombats
Sexual guilt, eh?
written by queen mudder, 23 September 2010
Kazakhstan president for Nobel Peace Prize?
If Barack Obama can win it then anyone can.
written by queen mudder, 23 September 2010
Facebook's Mark Zuckerberg is valued at $6.9bn in Forbes That's Rich list
Claims to have more dosh than Apple's Steve 'Big' Jobs and NewsCorpse's Rupert 'The Bear' Murdoch
written by queen mudder, 23 September 2010
73% of Emperors of Ethiopia were Haile Selassie.
20% were Fairly Selassie. 7% weren't Selassie at all.
written by matthatt, 24 September 2010
Local man upset to get Rolex as present from the lesbians next door.
"I think they misunderstood me when I said I wanna watch"
written by matthatt, 19 September 2010
Korean X-Factor, and the winner is.....
... the son of the previous winner, again!
written by matthatt, 28 September 2010
New stand-up comedian wows UN
"Ah'm a dinner jacket" cracks Iranian President
written by pinxit, 24 September 2010
