There were 3,123 spoof news snippets published in November 2010. A selection of the best rated snippets is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get all the news snippets from a day in this month.
Top Tips
Always ensure you wear a pressurized pressure suit when venturing into outer space.
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 28 November 2010
Sombre Mood At UN Climate Talks.
"Well, the weather's rubbish - and did you hear? Leslie Nielsen died," said a spokesman.
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 30 November 2010
Thought For The Day:
Dunno about Mondays, Bob. I hate Tuesdays. Really. No - Really. Until I get me drink, anyway. Oh, and CSI:Miami. Well, it's nearly Wednesday then, innit?
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 30 November 2010
MP's Knife Attacker Had Hit List
"Mainly sickly R&B stuff - no rock or metal or anything. Some hip-hop. Oh, and 'Grandad,' by Clive Dunn!" said police spokesman.
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 02 November 2010
UK Will "Lose Fewer Public Jobs."
"That's right. We've developed a special labelling system so if you put them down somewhere, whoever finds them can see who they belong to," said top civil servant.
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 30 November 2010
Top Tip:
To prevent drowning, hold breath when head is immersed in water.
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 26 November 2010
So Farewell, Leslie Nielsen.
Forbidden Planet was a classic. It was based on Shakespeare's The Tempest, you know. I once played Ferdinand in that. Crap role.
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 29 November 2010
String Theory For The Layman
It's bollocks. Forget it!
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 18 November 2010
People 'Daydream Half The Time'
... mmm? Sorry... what? Oh, I was miles away.
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 12 November 2010
Robbers Break Man's Jaw For £7
"Bloody bargain if you ask me - they said £10... I said £5... They said £8... I said £7... they said done!"
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 14 November 2010
"Unacceptable" Train Overcrowding To Get Worse Say MPs
As there are no plans to improve the situation, a working party has been established to seek an adjective to supercede "unacceptable."
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 09 November 2010
Obama Vows To Improve Muslim Ties
"The Windsor and half-Windsor are just not doing it for them," says Whitehouse aide.
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 09 November 2010
Ryanair Announce Cutbacks.
Latest "frills" to go include wings and radar.
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 24 November 2010
Big Fall In Royal Mail's Profits
"They've been delivering the cheques instead of opening them and keeping them," said unofficial watchdog spokesman.
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 02 November 2010
Thought For The Day:
Aha! So that's how you pronounce it... Laocoon! At last.
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 27 November 2010
Exercise 'Can Beat Common Cold.'
But it's still going to take drugs and rest for the aristocratic cold, say experts. Typical!
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 02 November 2010
China Inflation At Two-Year High
"The tea service just will not fit in the cupboard any more," says concerned housewife.
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 11 November 2010
1.2 Million US People Want A Job But Aren't Looking
"We call 'em stupid," says government insider.
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 09 November 2010
So Farewell, Dino De Laurentiis
I liked many of your movies... but Dune was pretty ropey, wasn't it?
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 12 November 2010
Post Office To Offer New Services
Sales staff at sales windows... stamps on sale... all-day queueing...
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 09 November 2010
Pope Warns Of Spanish Secularism
"Could be as bad as Dutch Elm, German Measles, Spanish Flu..." says Vatican source.
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 06 November 2010
Job Cutting Twinings Defends EU Grant
"Thought he was good in Four Weddings and A Funeral and he was a loveable rogue in Bridget Jones. What was that one about the Welsh hill... Oh, sorry.. E.U. Ah."
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 09 November 2010
Working Abroad Seminar.
Conclusion: Some people are working abroad. Some aren't.
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 24 November 2010
Qantas To Review How It Flies A380
Pilots thought to be top of thinking.
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 10 November 2010
Bank Says Economy Still Uncertain.
"Yes... it's not sure what to do really... take a gap year... go to work... carry on at uni. Just wish it would make up it's mind - lolling around the bloody house all day."
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 10 November 2010
Flu-Hit Thatcher Out Of Hospital.
Roofing repairs recommence next week.
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 01 November 2010
Thought For The Day:
That Carol Kirkwood on Breakfast weather's a looker, ain't she? Talk about occluded front!
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 01 November 2010
Gaelic Speaker Shortage Revealed
"We can't understand it," says expert.
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 01 November 2010
Al-Qaeda Group Claims Cargo Bombs
"Yup - they're the ones... knew we'd put them down somewhere. Can we have them back please? Ta"
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 06 November 2010
So Farewell, Ingrid Pitt.
Cor! Didn't half fancy you in my teens in the 70's!
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 24 November 2010
Thought For The Day:
Golf! What's that all about? It's not even a 'good walk spoiled' for my mate - he uses a buggy. Lazy bugger!
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 24 November 2010
Thought For The Day:
Better 'phone me mam this weekend.
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 05 November 2010
Co. Kerry: Elderly Woman's Body Missing
"To be sure, she's sat roight here in me office but Oi'll be banjaxed if we can find her body - she says she's no idea where it is!" Says local police chief.
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 10 November 2010
Good News For Folk In Nottingham
"Oh, yes... great - very exciting, so it is," said Irish community leader, Liam Tarradiddle.
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 10 November 2010
Greater Manchester Police To Axe 3,000 Posts
"It's all illegal fences and must come down immediately," said spokesman.
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 22 November 2010
Thought For The Day:
No thought... Sunday... working.... not happy...
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 21 November 2010
Police See Big Rise In Net Alerts
"It's those damned butterfly collectors," says Home Office source.
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 06 November 2010
Installing Microsoft Software On A New Laptop:
Aaaaaaaaarghhhhhhhhh!
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 22 November 2010
Thought For The Day:
"Hm... bath or shower. Bath? Shower?..."
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 06 November 2010
Trainee Doctors "Not Supervised"
"Chuck 'em in at the deep end, I say," says top surgeon. "Heart surgery ain't rocket science!"
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 05 November 2010
Seasonal Outlook
It is unlikely to be a white Christmas this year, according to a statement from a British National Party spokesman today.
written by Sidney Bollocks, 16 November 2010
The Notorious Wild West Outlaw Black Bart
127 years ago the notorious Wild West outlaw Black Bart robbed his last stagecoach. BB was later captured when he tried to sell the stolen stagecoach to undercover Pinkerton Detectives.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 03 November 2010
Free Agent Derek Jeter Applies for Unemployment Benefits
"I just want to cover all the bases," he said.
written by Gail Farrelly, 13 November 2010
107 Years Ago Panama Split From Colombia
When Panama and Colombia separated 107 years ago, Panama got the canal and the hat factories, and Colombia got the cocaine.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 03 November 2010
The Disbanding of The American Continental Army
On Nov. 3, 1783, the American Continental Army was officially disbanded. All 391 soldiers applied at the U.S. Post Office and each one was hired.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 03 November 2010
Brett Favre Arrested For Texting Photo of His Junk To NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell
Brett Favre was arrested today for texting a photo of his dinky little penis to NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell. "I thought it was his secretary's phone," Favre said in his defense.
written by anthonyrosania, 03 November 2010
Choices
It was mealtime during an airline flight. "Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked John, seated in front.
"What are my choices?" John asked.
"Yes or no," she replied.
written by Spicewood, 12 November 2010
Mutation of Skank Gene Proves Mary-Kate and Ashley are Fraternal Twins.
You can tell that the sequenced eukaryotic genome for skankiness has manifested itself more in Ashley than Mary-Kate, indicating that they are not identical twins, they are fraternal.
written by anthonyrosania, 04 November 2010
Sarah Palin says She Could Run World
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Sarah Palin will supplement her ruling of the United States in the 2012 Presidental Elections, with conquering the entire Earth. "I'll be supreme ruler!" she says to laughing crowd.
written by Inhopeless, 27 November 2010
Freedom of Speech Attacked As Too Liberal by Repulicans
Washington, D.C. - An outcry among tea party, and Repulican party members, as allowing everyone eaqual speech rights is deemed too Socialist. The Bible Belt has been restricted from doing anything.
written by Inhopeless, 07 November 2010
No I In Team but...
BIRMINGHAM - A P.E. lesson turned to comedy club, as a boy, 15, shouted out that there is 'no "us" in team, either'. As of press time, rearranging the letters in team spells 'me'.
written by Inhopeless, 08 November 2010
American Students Fail at Geography
WASHINGTON, D.C. - A new report from Dept. of Education says that all American kids are failing in geograpghy. 'Many are unable to point to America on a map of the United States', it says.
written by Inhopeless, 30 November 2010
Teenager Says 'Yes' to Drugs
BIRMINGHAM - A teen went against his peers', teachers, parents' advice & said 'yes' to an offer of a ciggerette. "I wanted to see why I shouldn't say 'yes'. Boy this tastes good!" He will die in 2031.
written by Inhopeless, 27 November 2010
'Global Warming Liberalist Hogwash' says poorly educated Right-Winger
NEW YORK - A right winger has yet again attacked Global Warming as communist plot, like 'soccer', even though he failed to pass high school.
written by Inhopeless, 26 November 2010
Apple to release own version of SimCity
Not to be outdone by EA Games, iCity will only feature rich, white and obnoxious cities, such as Manhattan and Central London
written by Inhopeless, 07 November 2010
Man With Sandwich Board Outside BullRing
BIRMINGHAM - A man standing outside the BullRing shopping centre has a sandwich board, proclaiming "World's End" and "20% Off at Subway"
written by Inhopeless, 11 November 2010
Man Loses Seven Stone after Seeing Himself on Google Street View
A man who saw himself on Google Street view was forced to lose weight after hundreds of cars and lorries were using him as a roundabout - and that was on the pavement!
written by IN SEINE, 15 November 2010
Breaking News: Breaking News Snippet Posted About Breaking News!
BIRMINGHAM - Spoofer Inhopeless, referenced himself in a spoof today, which was about breaking news, which in turn, was a spoof about breaking news. The news was that he won some money. Well... £10.50
written by Inhopeless, 13 November 2010
'North Korea Created Snow to Destroy UK Industry and Commericialism' says NK Rep
PYONGYANG - The communist dicktatorship of North Korea has sent snow to attack Britain's workforce by slowing it down in traffic jams, and thereby stopping productivity.
written by Inhopeless, 25 November 2010
Celebrities Obviously "Love" Charity
LONDON - Children in Need, worthy charity, is just an excuse for celebs to promote new album at expense of poor kids. However, needy children get money, even though it's dirty money.
written by Inhopeless, 19 November 2010
Celebrity Birthdays: November 11th.
Happy birthday to: Roman Empress Gisela of Swabia, 1,015; Baron Carr of Hadley, also 1,015; Cradle-robber Demi Moore, 58; Closeted actor Leonardo DiCaprio, 36; reality TV skank Brittny Gastineau, 27.
written by anthonyrosania, 12 November 2010
Huge Swathes of New York City Sinks
NEW YORK - Huge sections of the city fall into sea. Mysteriously, the cut-off point is 110th Street. The Mayor says city is prepared, due to other natural disasters occuring in movies.
written by Inhopeless, 17 November 2010
11PM TEASER - Can Michael Vick Become A Role Model For Children?
ANCHOR #1: Coming up at 11, He's the hottest player in the NFL today, but can the Eagles Michael Vick Become A Role Model For Children?
ANCHOR #2. No. So don't tune in.
written by anthonyrosania, 20 November 2010
ironic Twist to Costumed Man's Arrest for Drunken Driving
A Nebraska man was arrested early Monday morning after a night of partying at a Halloween Party given by his friend. His costume? A Breathalyzer.
written by Charpa93, 05 November 2010
Government Hates Citizens Back
LONDON - David Cameron's Tory Party has retorted to anti-Tory sentiment by stating that the UK are 'shitheads too, with no idea who to vote for in X-Factor, let alone government.'
written by Inhopeless, 18 November 2010
Alcohol: More Harmful Than Heroin
That's it, in a Professor Nutt-shell
written by Nick Hobbs, 01 November 2010
The Eagles have released the following statement:
"We hope you are enjoying this evening's Eagles game. We hope, this makes up for Izel Jenkins, Matt McCoy, cutting Cris Carter, 'for who, for what', and Rich Kotite's entire career. Merry Christmas.
written by anthonyrosania, 16 November 2010
Big Society Leads to Giant People
LONDON - The Big Society cultural directive of Tory government leads to unnatural increase in size of average British person. Labour opposition laughs as new strain on NHS created indirectly.
written by Inhopeless, 20 November 2010
Middle East Peace Deal of the Day
TEL AVIV - Peace Deal of the day: Buy one crisis, get a rougue state absolutley FREE!
written by Inhopeless, 16 November 2010
Nothing
If 'nothing washes better than Tide' then why not use nothing.
written by unknown
Nepotism doesn't exist in Dallas, says Cowboys coach. My brothers earned their jobs.
Cowboys interim head coach Jason Garrett is angry about nepotism allegations. "It's simply not true," he said, standing next to TE coach John Garrett, scout Judd Garrett and backup WR Lucy Garrett.
written by anthonyrosania, 16 November 2010
The World's Largest Book To Be Produced
It's a catalogue of herbs and spices that have been smuggled the 'I'm a Celebrity...' jungle camp by nutritionist, Gillian McKeith in her knickers!
written by IN SEINE, 27 November 2010
Derek Acorah Cleared Of Handling Stolen Goods.
But then possession is nine tenths of the law!
written by Nick Hobbs, 25 November 2010
Los Angeles Police Sued for Attacking Young Man
LOS ANGELES - The city's police department have been sued under the city's courts for unlawful beating, tasering, shooting, drugging, extorting, stealing, killing, & cremating of John Fullick, 20.
written by Inhopeless, 25 November 2010
Man Becomes Homicidal Maniac after Claiming 'He'd "Kill For a Good Burger"
BIRMINGHAM - Jack Summers decided to eat a Zinger burger at a local KFC restaurant. After being reminded of 'burger' pact, he killed several people. West Mid. Police are looking for hungry, angry guy.
written by Inhopeless, 15 November 2010
Portland bomber a innocent guy who "wasn't that radical"; Oregonians wouldn't have been that dead.
Friends of Portland bomber Mohamed Osman Mohamud defend him by telling police "He wasn't that radical" as opposed to "not radical at all." WTF? Exactly how much radical is to radical?
written by SirBeavis, 30 November 2010
In Justifying Use of Condoms, Pope Falls Short
On male prostitutes, he intimated this: they are already sinning against God so wearing condoms isn't gonna matter that much. Let them use them if they want. No biggie.
written by Charpa93, 21 November 2010
Martha Stewart Loses it On Thanksgiving Guest
Said the celebrity about one of her guests, "She was just horrendous. First, she swilled her wine like a drunken sailor, and then she ate her dessert with her salad fork. How gauche.
written by Charpa93, 26 November 2010
Legislature Close to Repealing Don't Ask, Don't Tell
Will give a whole new meaning to "dress" blues.
written by Charpa93, 30 November 2010
Nigella Kitchen To Go 3D
Reinforced glasses required for viewers. Literally eye-popping.
written by Skoob1999, 07 November 2010
Airline to Use Ground-Based Craft, Decreases Flight Time
LONDON - British Airways have decided to use ground-transport instead of newer Airbuses and Boeings for Domestic and Int'l flights. Will save passengers' flight times, and include smoking breaks.
written by Inhopeless, 16 November 2010
POLITICIANS: The Next Batch!
So far, over 200 students have confessed to cheating, following a lecture on ethics from a professor in a Florida University. It is thought that many of them will go on to become politicians.
written by IN SEINE, 18 November 2010
Four Loko Named "Official Fuel Of Date Rapists".
It's alcohol, it's an energy drink, and Four Loko is now the "Official Fuel Of Date Rapists". Congratulations!
written by anthonyrosania, 21 November 2010
Administration says: There is no inflation.
Feds claim there is no inflation after monetizing US debt. The new way of calculating inflation no longer considers food or energy into the equation, that way they're not lying and we're still broke.
written by SirBeavis, 22 November 2010
New Hazelnut Flavoured Liqueur Doesn't Contain Nuts
Nobody seems quite sure exactly how that works...
written by Skoob1999, 15 November 2010
Palin on WikiBitchSlaps
"If Obama thinks Cameron is a light weight, what does that make me?"
written by Catherine the Average, 30 November 2010
Dannii Minogue Appears On X-Factor Sporting New Haircut
Apparently she uses the same hairdresser as Steven Gerrard. That one with the seeing eye dog and the white stick.
written by Skoob1999, 07 November 2010
Many Britons delighted by heavy pre-Christmas snows
Palin: "It's Obama's fault!"
written by Catherine the Average, 30 November 2010
Hathaway, Franco to host Oscars
Palin: It's Obama's fault!
written by Catherine the Average, 30 November 2010
Forecast calls for cloud, some rain
Palin: "It's Obama's fault!"
written by Catherine the Average, 30 November 2010
Letter arrives 77 years after being posted
Palin: "It's Obama's fault!"
written by Catherine the Average, 30 November 2010
