There's Still Hope!
As the oil slick draws closer and closer to the gulf shore, SpongeBob SquarePants says that he's getting a group together to help.
written by Bureau, 03 May 2010
Friend: "Joe Just Whizzed His Way To The Hereafter!"
Dozens of TVs and fridges catch fire after late wino pisses on cable triggers massive power surge!
written by Bureau, 03 May 2010
Military Name #1
Today's #1 most popular military nickname voted by readers of Stars & Stripes? "Joe Blow" (Non-Combat Role)
written by Bureau, 03 May 2010
Military Name #2
Today's #2 most popular military nickname voted by readers of Stars & Stripes? "Daisy-Cutter Duke"
written by Bureau, 03 May 2010
Military Name #3
Today's #3 most popular military nickname voted by readers of Stars & Stripes? "The Ten-Day Rank Tank Crew".
written by Bureau, 03 May 2010
Military Name #4
Today's #4 most popular military nickname voted by readers of Stars & Stripes? "Ernest Sub"
written by Bureau, 03 May 2010
Military Name #5
Today's #5 most popular military nickname voted by readers of Stars & Stripes? "Beretta Lynn".
written by Bureau, 03 May 2010
Prediction of the Century...
Astrological Guru, Russell Grant has predicted a Conservative landslide victory. Gordon Brown has commented that he hopes that "Grant gets Clegg on his face!"
written by IN SEINE, 03 May 2010
Gene Sequence Predictions #5
Doctors use gene sequence to predict health risks. Also, that you will pay handsomely for having yours done.
written by Bureau, 03 May 2010
Bayer Stock Up!
Sales of Levitra rise six and a half inches in April!
written by Bureau, 03 May 2010
Someone's Singing
"Joan Baez to play Reno's Artown festival in July.. Kumbuya!
Joan Baez to play Reno's Artown festival in July.. Kumbuya!"
written by Bureau, 03 May 2010
Afghanistan Lowest Death Rate?
Study: Afghanistan has lowest death rate in the world among older men. Most die before 40.
written by Bureau, 03 May 2010
Gene Sequence Predictions #4
Doctors use gene sequence to predict health risks, allow you to know if new girlfriend's boobs are fake.
written by Bureau, 03 May 2010
Gene Sequence Predictions #3
Doctors use gene sequence to predict health risks. Say they will check you out if you'll cross their palms with silver.
written by Bureau, 03 May 2010
Gene Sequence Predictions #2
Doctors use gene sequence to predict health risks, predict length of boyfriend's penis.
written by Bureau, 03 May 2010
Gene Sequence Predictions
Doctors use gene sequence to predict health risks, see if you will be meeting a dark stranger.
written by Bureau, 03 May 2010
New Rosalynn Carter Book #10
Rosalynn Carter pens new book about mental health, "Billy's CIA Code Name? Lobotomy!"
written by Bureau, 03 May 2010
New Rosalynn Carter Book #9
Rosalynn Carter pens new book about mental health, "Billy: A Snail On Prozac"
written by Bureau, 03 May 2010
New Rosalynn Carter Book #8
Rosalynn Carter pens new book about mental health, "Our Billy Was Sweet But Useless As Tits On A Boar Hog"
written by Bureau, 03 May 2010
New Rosalynn Carter Book #7
Rosalynn Carter pens new book about mental health, "The Lights Were On In The Oval Office But Nobody Was Home".
written by Bureau, 03 May 2010
New Rosalynn Carter Book #6
Rosalynn Carter pens new book about mental health, "Jimmy Took Peanut Crop Checks While Billy Ran Country"
written by Bureau, 03 May 2010
New Rosalynn Carter Book #5
Rosalynn Carter pens new book about mental health, "Billy Was The Bright One".
written by Bureau, 03 May 2010
Heather Mills takes up Darts
Heather Mills has taken up darts and was beaten by one leg.
written by SPECTRUM, 03 May 2010
Gordon Brown Apologises Over Rihanna Assault
"I apologise if I did anything like that", he said.
written by Ron Smith, 03 May 2010
Tory Party All Nighter
Dave Cameron & his chums are taking a deserved night off from the campaign trail tonight & having a 24-hour Smash The Poor charity bash in aid of The Bankers Fund at Cameron's country estate Champers.
written by Ron Smith, 03 May 2010
Rosalynn Carter's New Book #4
Rosalynn Carter pens new book about mental health, "Jimmy's Outhouse Elevator Doesn't Go All The Way To The Top Floor"
written by Bureau, 03 May 2010
Rosalynn Carter's New Book #3
Rosalynn Carter pens new book about mental health, "Miss Lillian, One Fry Short Of A Happy Meal".
written by Bureau, 03 May 2010
Earth Overturned
As the World Turns' matriarch Wagner takes an earth bath at 91
written by Bureau, 03 May 2010
Genes Predict Health
Doctors use gene sequence to predict health risks, who will be traveling over water and who won't.
written by Bureau, 03 May 2010
New Rosalynn Carter Book #2
Rosalynn Carter pens new book about mental health, "The Carter Brother In The Attic"
written by Bureau, 03 May 2010
New FDA Warning
FDA investigating recall of children's medicine as recall letters sent out could contain lead.
written by Bureau, 03 May 2010
New Rosalynn Carter Book
Rosalynn Carter pens new book about mental health "Jimmy's Out Back Building Our Tenth Shithouse".
written by Bureau, 03 May 2010
"Not To Bring Politics Into It, Of Course"
Napolitano: No suspects ruled out in NY bomb scare. Middle Easter looking man could well be from Tea Party.
written by Bureau, 03 May 2010
Yankovic #66
Weird Al Yankovic to do Knew Beatles Album including his new version of "Hello, Goodbye (Thank You Mam).
written by Bureau, 03 May 2010
Widespread Panic!
Middle-aged white male spotted in Times Square!
written by Adam Click, 03 May 2010
Yankovic #65
Weird Al Yankovic to do Knew Beatles Album including his new version of "The Magical Mystery Manure"
written by Bureau, 03 May 2010
Yankovic #64
Weird Al Yankovic to do Knew Beatles Album including his new version of "I Have To Admit I'm Getting Balder"
written by Bureau, 03 May 2010
Yankovic #63
Weird Al Yankovic to do Knew Beatles Album including his new version of "Fixing A Ho"
written by Bureau, 03 May 2010
Yankovic #62
Weird Al Yankovic to do Knew Beatles Album including his new version of "Everybody's Trying To See My Boobies"
written by Bureau, 03 May 2010
Yankovic #61
Weird Al Yankovic to do Knew Beatles Album including his new version of "Eight Times A Week"
written by Bureau, 03 May 2010
Wall Street Down
Greek bailout fails to give world markets a lift. So does the fact that all gulf states my go bankrupt from oil spill.
written by Bureau, 03 May 2010
Obama Reassures Gulf Residents
Obama seeks to reassure as oil slick nears coast. "It will all disappear as I have commanded it to be so."
written by Bureau, 03 May 2010
Alaskan Memories
In Alaska, gulf spill brings back painful memories. However, so does those of ex-Governor.
written by Bureau, 03 May 2010
My Pondering Up To $50 Billion
German lawmakers ponder $11 billion for Greece bailout, but will most likely send one.
written by Bureau, 03 May 2010
No Climate Deal
UN: No comprehensive climate deal this year. Will try again in 2020.
written by Bureau, 03 May 2010
No "Bush Oil Spill Disaster!"
Another week at least of unabated Gulf oil geyser, mainstream media keeping President Obama's slow-response off the air.
written by Bureau, 03 May 2010
Taliban Promises More Attacks
Pakistani Taliban promise US attacks post-NY scare. US military promises daisy cutters will be dropped over mountain to mole hill hideouts.
written by Bureau, 03 May 2010
Meat Packers Investigated
Feds doing 1st investigation of major meat packers. Want to exactly where penis enhancement pills, exercises came from.
written by Bureau, 03 May 2010
Easy Mistake
Pipe that interrupted Mass. water supply is fixed. Apologize for first hooking it into gas line.
written by Bureau, 03 May 2010
Freedom Of The Press Day!
Media watchdog Reporters Without Borders named world's 40 worst "predators of the press" including politicians, religious leaders & militias to mark Press Freedom Day. Names Kim, Chevez, Reid, Pelosi.
written by Bureau, 03 May 2010
Greece Raising Funds
Greece rushes austerity cuts as anger builds. Will auction Acropolis on eBay.
written by Bureau, 03 May 2010
Riches To Rags
Another week at least of unabated Gulf oil geyser! "We thought it was a motherload", states BP CEO. "Turns out that it's a mother!"
written by Bureau, 03 May 2010
Warren OR Jimmy?
Feisty Warren Buffett supports Goldman, high on economy, alcohol.
written by Bureau, 03 May 2010
BP America To Face Committee
BP America vows to pay oil slick clean-up costs. Will appear before a special committee in a couple of weeks to explain what happened and ask for bail-out funds.
written by Bureau, 03 May 2010
Van Gogh to Van go
A prisoner cut of his ear and the ambulance taking him to hospital was ambushed by two men in a van in a daring escape. Michael O'Donell jumped in the back of the van holding his ear shouting Van go.
written by SPECTRUM, 03 May 2010
Thai Prime Minister speaks out against Red Shirt Protesters
The Thai Prime Minister has spoken out against all red shirt protesters because none of them have been wearing a tie.
written by SPECTRUM, 03 May 2010
Black Day for Snooker as Higgins caught red handed
In a Black Day for Snooker John Higgins was caught red handed saying he could fix a match. He claims he was framed.
written by SPECTRUM, 03 May 2010
God to be replaced after UK General Election
Due to a typing error a local Newspaper printed God to be replaced after the General Election. It should have been Gord.
written by SPECTRUM, 03 May 2010
Time Bomb Planted in Times Square
Investigators are searching for a man seen acting strangely a short time before a Time Bomb was discovered in Times Square.
Luckily the bomb was discovered just in time.
written by SPECTRUM, 03 May 2010
Two of the Largest Airlines Expected to Merge Monday
and hope that by doing so, in this case, will ultimately make them "too big to fail."
written by Charpa93, 03 May 2010
Yankovic #60
Weird Al Yankovic to do Knew Beatles Album including his new version of "Octomom's Garden"
written by Bureau, 03 May 2010
Yankovic #59
Weird Al Yankovic to do Knew Beatles Album including his new version of "Here, There, On The Table, In The Chair"
written by Bureau, 03 May 2010
Yankovic #58
Weird Al Yankovic to do Knew Beatles Album including his new version of "I Got A Woman Preggers As She Can Be"
written by Bureau, 03 May 2010
Yankovic #57
Weird Al Yankovic to do Knew Beatles Album including his new version of "I Don't Want To Soil The Party So I'll Go (Somewhere Else).
written by Bureau, 03 May 2010
Yankovic #56
Weird Al Yankovic to do Knew Beatles Album including his new version of "Ellen Or Rugby (Gal Or Pals)"
written by Bureau, 03 May 2010
