Copy of Mein Kampf Found in Glenn Beck's Locker Next to His Lederhosen
Beck claims he just uses it as reference to use against the Obama administration and not for purposes of learning how to indoctrinate his listeners.
written by Charpa93, 16 May 2010
Poor Economy
A bad sign for the economy as Warren Buffett gets laid off!
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
Top Nudist'sMovies #60
The Motion Picture Association releases all-time hit movie classics at nation's nudist colonies, including "The Gaps Of Ruth"
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
Top Nudist's Movies #59
The Motion Picture Association releases all-time hit movie classics at nation's nudist colonies, including "Full Hand Luke"
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
Top Nudist Movies #58
The Motion Picture Association releases all-time hit movie classics at nation's nudist colonies, including "Rosemary's Boody"
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
Top Nudist's Movies #57
The Motion Picture Association releases all-time hit movie classics at nation's nudist colonies, including "Teasy Delighter"
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
Top Nudist's Movies #56
The Motion Picture Association releases all-time hit movie classics at nation's nudist colonies, including "Citizen Rogaine"
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
Afraid that Might Happen
Many wondering what happened to the invisibility devise that would be used to cloak weapons, soldiers. Gates finally admits they have misplaced it somewhere.
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
Space Elevator Jammed
Nations experts consult each other about those poor souls trapped on the space elevator, stuck between floors three miles up!
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
Still On The Trail
Obama staff people have now discovered old Bush e-mails that were deleted from one computer in White House Oval office. First million reviewed find one message about thrown shoe, 300,000 penis ads.
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
Census Figures Coming In
According to early census estimates, the American population has dropped below 300 million since health care bill passed. Of course this doesn't count the 100 million illegals.
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
Obama Figures Down
A new poll shows that the President's approval ratings by the news media is down from 98% to 96%.
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
Facebook Worries
Are you worried about Facebook privacy? I'm talking to you Larry H. Sanderson of 1112 High Street in Nashville, Tennessee with the wife Sheila & 3 daughters that fight over the bathroom all the time?
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
Woody Allen Supports Polanski!
Directors want Polanski exonerated! Woody Allen supports him, which comes as a surprise to no one!
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
With A Straight Face
President Barack Obama says European bailout of Greece just buys time. "Need a solution like we have here."
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
Top Nudist's Movies #55
The Motion Picture Association releases all-time hit movie classics at nation's nudist colonies, including "Best Side Study"
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
Top Nudist Movies #54
The Motion Picture Association releases all-time hit movie classics at nation's nudist colonies, including "Splendor Of The Ass!"
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
Top Nudist Movies # 53
The Motion Picture Association releases all-time hit movie classics at nation's nudist colonies, including "The Bustier"
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
Top Nudist's Movie #52
The Motion Picture Association releases all-time hit movie classics at nation's nudist colonies, including "The Manchewing Candidate"
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
Top Nudist's Movies #51
The Motion Picture Association releases all-time hit movie classics at nation's nudist colonies, including "My Pair, Lady!"
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
Top Nudist's Movies #50
The Motion Picture Association releases all-time hit movie classics at nation's nudist colonies, including "To Thrill A Dickie Bird"
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
Top Nudist's Movie #49
The Motion Picture Association releases all-time hit movie classics at nation's nudist colonies, including "Twin Mounds Of Music"
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
Top Nudist's Movie #48
The Motion Picture Association releases all-time hit movie classics at nation's nudist colonies, including "Body And Pride"
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
Violent Earthquake Leaves Engineers Jobless
A 7.1 magnitude earthquake damaged buildings in Puerto Rico and Jamaica, with an underwater force so great that it plugged the raging oil leak in the Gulf of Mexico leaving engineers there jobless.
written by emccorm, 16 May 2010
Google Lets Us Down
Pot farms said to thrive in Colombia..but they don't say WHERE!
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
Just Checked The Books
First ever one-legged, cross-eyed red-headed Episcopalian lesbian bishop installed.
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
Palin After Obama #2
Palin to Obama: 'Do your job, secure our border'. 'There's an oil slick on the way!"
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
Palin After Obama
Palin to Obama: 'Do your job, secure our border'. Secure Kenya's border! Do something!"
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
I Knew It Didn't Sound Right
Apparently shuttlecocks are hitting the space station. I'm sorry, that should be space shuttle docks with space station.
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
Lu-Lu-Lu-Lula In Iran
Brazil's Lula in Iran for nuclear talks! Lu-Lu-Lu-Lula! Hoping to work out a few Kinks.
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
Palin Defends Arizona, Brings Bear Rifle
Palin defends Arizona immigration law. "Now I know we may have overdone it', says Governor.
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
Khan Wins Again #9
Khan dominates Malignaggi in 11th round stoppage after ref notices that Malignaggi was beginning to look like a pinata.
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
Khan Wins Again #8
Khan dominates Malignaggi in 11th round stoppage after ref notices that Malignaggi's Mom didn't recognize him.
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
Old "Global Warming" In Heat
Al Gore says he has found a link between Global Warming and the increase in size of Hollywood actresses boobs. Asks ten to volunteer for further studies.
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
Puzzler For Police
Pensioner spends over seven years doing 5,000 piece jigsaw puzzle... then finds ONE bit is missing. Tell puzzle makers that he is armed and pissed!
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
Bad Timing
Newlywed astronaut puts honeymoon on hold as he begins 18-month simulated Mars mission, sexually attacks rest of crew.
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
97% of Readers Don't Know What the F*ck I'm Talking About
Cabbage, billycock hats, furriers, wideawakes, costermongers, spinach…
written by unknown
Local Zombie Plague Set To Continue For Another Week
Forecasters have predicted that the zombie plague affecting the town will continue well into next week.
People are advised to walk quickly to avoid being eaten alive by the slow moving living dead.
written by unknown
Local talking Arse does something vaguely Newsworthy
A local arse has done what it does best - talk shite.
written by unknown
Local Man Creates The World
Local Man Kevin God spent the past few days creating the universe and everything in it.
"I'm very pleased with the results but I'm worn out and might have a nap and watch a bit of telly", he said.
written by unknown
Local Man Turns Water into Wine
Local magician Dave Christ saved a fortune on the drinks bill at a local wedding by changing tap water into lovely red wine.
He also fed them a lovely dinner of loaves and fishes.
written by unknown
Daleks Heading For Extinction
Seems they have problems getting a leg over.
written by Skoob1999, 16 May 2010
John Terry and Ashley Cole scoop the "DOUBLE"
A great year for John Terry and Ashley Cole, they've done the "Double", John got his team mates Bimbo pregnant and Ashley did a nice job on his missus, Cheryl and vice-versa, it's all in the game!
written by unknown
Phone Use Causes Cancer!
Ten-year worldwide study links mobile phone use to cancer. Spokesman calls in results.
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
Clinton Library Undergoes Changes
White House asks Clinton library to release Kagan papers, ten big-haired women chained in the basement.
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
Big Oil Plume
Huge underwater oil plumes found in Gulf of Mexico, right in the path of titanic II.
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
94-Year-Old Graduates #3
California woman earns college diploma at age 94. "At long last I'm ready for that Spring Break in Florida. Par-ty! Rar-ty!"
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
94-Year-Old Graduates
California woman earns college diploma at age 94. "If not for those 75 years of keg parties, I never would have made it", says Senior.
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
Thousands Flock To Pope
Thousands flock to Vatican to back pope over abuse. "See", stated Jeremy Wright, "His chickens came home to roost!"
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
Khan Wins Again #8
Khan dominates Malignaggi in 11th round stoppage after ref notices that Malignaggi's head was backwards, after one wild swing caught him instead of his oponent.
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
Official Declares Vote Official
Iraq official: No vote change with Baghdad recount. "You think we're crazy or something? Count matched perfectly..or should we have declared 2 were different?"
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
Giant Oil Plumes In Gulf
Huge underwater oil plumes found in Gulf of Mexico. BP admits that it just might be from their oil spill but not to be too quick to judge.
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
NAACP Backs Obama In Shocker
NAACP announces it backs Obama's Supreme Court nominee... uh...whomever!
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
Khan Wins Again #7
Khan dominates Malignaggi in 11th round stoppage after ref notices that Malignaggi was trying to distinguish between his ass and his elbow!
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
Khan Wins Again #6
Khan dominates Malignaggi in 11th round stoppage after ref notices that one of Malignaggi's testicles was hanging out the bottom of his trunks.
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
Khan Wins Again #5
Khan dominates Malignaggi in 11th round stoppage after ref notices that Malignaggi was beginning to look like Rihanna in those Chris Brown shots.
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
Khan Wins Again #4
Khan dominates Malignaggi in 11th round stoppage after ref notices that Malignaggi had left 2 turds on stool between rounds. "Apparently Khan had knocked the shit out of opponent at end of the round.
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
Khan Wins Again
Khan dominates Malignaggi in 11th round stoppage after ref notices that Malignaggi's stuffing scattered about the ring.
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
Fight Stopped
Khan dominates Malignaggi in 11th round stoppage after ref notices that Malignaggi's head now over his left shoulder and Khan land left hook.
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
Khan Wins Again
Khan dominates Malignaggi in 11th round stoppage as ref notices Malignaggi's block knocked off and into first row of seats.
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
Pope Receives Backing!
Thousands flock to Vatican to back pope over abuse. Maybe "back" not the best word there. "Support!"
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
Filed For Your Bad Lung Benefits Yet?
Ash closes some UK airports, but London stays open as first reports of victims of "ash lung" showing up at hospitals.
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
Same Ole, Same Ole!
Outside groups spending big to influence vote...purchasing political offices. Something this nation has never seen before!
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
Today's Twentyeth Poll
AP-GfK Poll: Voters tilt back toward Democrats, windmills.
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
First Robot Performed Wedding
Eyes flashing, robot conducts wedding in Tokyo. "Do you take this humanoid to be your humanoid till rust do your parts?"
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
Woody Woody Again
A note to Cate Blanchett and Reese Witherspoon: Woody Allen has his eye on you. Also, a certain 15-year-old Asian girl.
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
Greece May Lose Artifacts
2nd German banker doubts Greece's ability to repay. "How much does the average Grecian Urn?', he asks.
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
Nonprofits To Be Taxed On Profits
Thousands of nonprofits may lose tax-exempt status! "Jeremiah Wright's roosting chickens will be taxed", says IRS.
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
Cartoonist In Hiding
Muhammad cartoonist in hiding after arson attack after recent cartoons show Muhammad as Wild-eyed arsonist!
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
Arson Attack
Muhammad cartoonist in hiding after arson attack by peaceful majority of Muslims.
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
Shredded Months Ago
White House asks Clinton library to release Kagan papers. "Like most, they have been recycled", says library caretaker.
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
Church Changes
Gay church ordains second openly episcopalian Episcopal Bishop!
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
US to finance Israeli rockets and Palestinian concrete bunkers!
Obama, in a majestic humane gesture is financing an Israeli rocket defence system, he has also offered to build concrete bunkers for the Palestinians whilst they're running for their lives WHAT A MAN!
written by unknown
Church Ordains 2nd Gay Bishop #2
Episcopal church ordains its 2nd openly gay bishop. Some warn that this could result in major changes to chess terms: "My Gay Bishop takes your Queen and checkmates your King.
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
Church Ordains Second Gay Bishop
Episcopal church ordains its 2nd openly gay bishop. Shows up for ordination wearing all leather outfit.
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
Losing Tax Exemption
Thousands of nonprofits may lose tax-exempt status. Kids that sold lemonade to raise money for flood victims in South being watched closely by IRS.
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
Losing Tax Status
Thousands of nonprofits may lose tax-exempt status. "If we don't make any profits, what can they tax?", asks one.
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
94-Year Old Graduates
California woman earns college diploma at age 94. Wants to go become a professional dancer. Also, looking for a partner for life.
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
Being Bad Is Good?
Report: Being Bad at Relationships Is Good for Survival! "Just tell them all to leave you alone and you'll be fine and dandy!..But perhaps, horny!"
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
Year From Now, Maybe!
BP confident it can contain gushing oil from pipe..sometimes this year or perhaps by 2011..February at the latest!
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
Tea Party Says No!
Red Shirts ready to negotiate with Thai government. But Red states not ready to negotiate with American government.
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
A Penny Saved Is a Penny Earned
Phoenix bride Penny Bryant, was rescued from falling debris by groom, Robert Earned. Vows were later exchanged after bystanders helped clear the aisle.
written by emccorm, 16 May 2010
Woody Stands Up For Roman
Woody Allen has defended fellow director Roman Polanski amid fresh sexual abuse claims, "It's what I would have done", he said.
written by Ron Smith, 16 May 2010
A Ditch In Time Saves Nine
A local tailor and his family of eight were saved from a tornado when their SUV ran off the road into a ditch protecting them from the ravishes of the storm.
written by emccorm, 16 May 2010
Actress Maimed In Dessert Disaster
Eastenders actress Pam St. Clement-"Fat" Pat Butcher-lost her left leg today when a 1 ton, world record attempt, marshmallow fell on her knee causing the lower half of the leg to snap off.
written by SuperSi, 16 May 2010
BP Oil Experiment a Success
CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Gulf of Mexico - BP, Halliburton, and Transocean are expected to win the Nobel Peace Prize for their successful oil separation experiment in the Gulf of Mexico. Isn't that slick?
written by Cal Jennings, 16 May 2010
Don McLeroy's Texas Education Proposal a FAIL!
CCN (Crazy Cal News) Austin, TX - Don McLeroy's Texas Education proposal a fail. There is not one mention of Pecos Bill!
written by Cal Jennings, 16 May 2010
Bomber Blows It!
Suicide car bomber blows himself up too early. Reconstruction shows that he was texting while driving.
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
We're All Broke!
Report: Consumer confidence takes another tumble, can't get up!
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
Just In Case
Secretary Of Treasury: Economy is not quite so bad as we first thought. However, I'd still leave the 10th floor window open for awhile.
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
New Commercial Pot Slogans #10
New commercials come out for medicinal use of marijuana features, "Because Waste Is A Terrible Brainy Thing"
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
New Pot Commercial Slogans #9
New commercials come out for medicinal use of marijuana features, "Look At That Mess! Looks Like We BOTH Were In The Wrong Land, Man! Is That Funny Or What?"
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
New Pot Commercial Slogans #8
New commercials come out for medicinal use of marijuana features, "Well Smoke My Pants! They're Mad Of Hemp!"
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
New Pot Commercial Slogans #7
New commercials come out for medicinal use of marijuana features and old Black & White clip of Sinatra singing, "Doobie Doobie Doo!"
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
New Commercial Pot Slogans #6
New commercials come out for medicinal use of marijuana features, "A Day Without ..Mary Pot Is Like..A Day Like When That Time..You Know What I'm Talking About..I Don't"
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
New Commercial Pot Slogans #5
New commercials come out for medicinal use of marijuana features, "Obey Your Hay!"
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
New Pot Commercial Slogans #4
New commercials come out for medicinal use of marijuana features, "We Laughed All Through The Funeral Because We Didn't Know Which One Of Us Had Died"
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
New Pot Commercial Slogans #3
New commercials come out for medicinal use of marijuana features, "You've Come A Long Way, Baby. Let's Blow This Joint!"
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
New Pot Commercial Slogans: #2
New commercials come out for medicinal use of marijuana features, "I'M Mary. Seed My Lips! No Blow Taxes!"
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
New Pot Commercials
New commercials come out for medicinal use of marijuana features, "Mary Jane, Better Than Britney!"
written by Bureau, 16 May 2010
It's the Whales Stupid
Rabid environmentalists are basically obtuse; they manage to save poop eating bugs thus blocking solar power generation projects. However, when it comes to big things like saving whales, they lose!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 16 May 2010
