Still Kinda Sexy
Senate Majority Whip Harry Reid admits that he was badly disappointed to learn that the whip was Cool Whip.
written by Bureau, 06 March 2010
Sneaky Republicans
President Obama says that the reason more people are still out of work is to make them look bad before elections later this year.
written by Bureau, 06 March 2010
More Job Opportunities
President, Reid, Pelosi attempt to put more people to work as spin doctors before November.
written by Bureau, 06 March 2010
"I'll Take An Ass, Vanna..Uh..An A"
Vanna White, Pat Sajek to wear only thongs during ratings week, as competition heats up!
written by Bureau, 06 March 2010
Bolivian Volleyball Fans Killed on Roller Coaster
A group of elderly, mentally retarded senior citizen Bolivian volleyball fans were killed in a roller coaster accident just outside of La Paz Bolivia today. Apparently, they all stood up on a turn.
written by Daniel Bristol, 06 March 2010
Somali pirates attack iceberg by mistake, fought off by intrepid penguins
Antarctic penguins are notoriously feisty, cranky, after the 10 month winter!
written by Wumf, 06 March 2010
Can't Concentrate
Vice President Joe Biden admits President Obama lost his cool during meeting with Dalai Lama over Tibet's problems. He told him he would listen better if Lama quit levitating.
written by Bureau, 06 March 2010
Always Complained About It To Watson
Old diary found by descendants of Doctor Watson says that Sherlock had a "game foot".
written by Bureau, 06 March 2010
Horse Meat Prices
French say that the price of horse meat ar restaurants have been stable.
written by Bureau, 06 March 2010
Clinton Rushes To Houston
Ex-President Clinton rushes to Houston to see what the excitement is over "piece of ass", learns that it was "a piece of ice" on Mars.
written by Bureau, 06 March 2010
Bush Regrets
Ex-President George Bush says that he wishes now that he had spent more time with Hispanics and learned to speak Hispania.
written by Bureau, 06 March 2010
May Do Commercials
Man from Hannibal, Missouri says he lost 50 pounds eating only McDonald's Ronald.
written by Bureau, 06 March 2010
Naomi Campbell - "the legend begins"
Finally takes up her true calling: kick-boxing. Manager says: "NC is kicking with joy - I needed 22 stitches and I'm her manager".
written by Tcoah, 06 March 2010
Penguin Club hauled up at Oxford University
Oxford Dons take their revenge on the Penguin Club for denying them membership.
written by Tcoah, 06 March 2010
Representing Himself
John Quincey Happy Ass Wilson asks for death penalty from jury if found guilty of capitol crime.
written by Bureau, 06 March 2010
Florida Expensives Mount
Florida spends over $100,000 on new "Turn Your Left Turn Signal Off" signs!
written by Bureau, 06 March 2010
Obama Losing Popularity Fast
Presidential motorcade diverted on threat of huge crowds with "You Lie!" signs.
written by Bureau, 06 March 2010
Are we flaterred
They say that imitation is the lowest form of flattery. Borrowing for spoofs does that come close?
written by Nae mair crap, 06 March 2010
Someone Has Burglarized An Arkansas KKK Office
The Ku Klux Klan office in Arkadelphia, Arkansas was burglarized. Apparently someone broke into the KKK storage room and made off with 14 boxes of Ohio Blue Tip Kitchen Matches.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 06 March 2010
Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs?
Well it looks like the recession has finally hit Disneyland. Theme park officials announce that they are having to lay off two of the seven dwarfs. No word yet as to which two.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 06 March 2010
"Hola, And Welcome To Florida, The Land of El Sol"
It is now official. Due to the large number of Cubans living in Florida, the state has voted to make Spanish the state's official language.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 06 March 2010
The Mount Formerly Know As Rushmore
There are rumors circulating throughout South Dakota that the state is considering tearing down Mount Rushmore and replacing it with a Super Wal-Mart.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 06 March 2010
The Rudy Giuliani Traveling Carnival Comes To Town
Ex-Mayor of New York City Rudy Giuliani has just published his latest book. It is an autobiography entitled "Stuttering, Lisping, and Acting Like I'm Some Kind of American Hero."
written by Abel Rodriguez, 06 March 2010
The Ranting and Raving, But Smooth-Skinned Glenn Beck
Glenn Beck has stated that he wants to get more in touch with his feminine side. He has just announced that he will be changing his name to Glenda Becky.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 06 March 2010
New Sarah Palin Show #15
Sarah Palin, VP candidate for John McCain in the 2008 Presidential election has agreed to do a show on Fox this fall entitled: "Twin Peeks"
written by Bureau, 06 March 2010
Did She Place a Curse?
Britain's grey exodus of over-55s so fed up with crime and weather they want to move abroad. Broad indicates that she doesn't have anything to do with it.
written by Bureau, 06 March 2010
More Body Scans
Airport body scanners spreading across US. Some showing up at Starbucks entrance, Hooters.
written by Bureau, 06 March 2010
Big Night For Woody
Mo'Nique, Harrelson win supporting Spirit honors. Harrelson also sweeps supporting Marijuana honors.
written by Bureau, 06 March 2010
After Advice From Cheney
Kathy Griffin takes aim at Sarah Palin. Sarah Palin focuses night sight, takes aim at Kathy Griffin.
written by Bureau, 06 March 2010
More Blood Needed
Senators, Vampires: Lift ban on gays donating blood!
written by Bureau, 06 March 2010
My Ass Look Fat?
Jeans test claims to show what diet works best. I'm sorry, that should have been "gene" test.
written by Bureau, 06 March 2010
Big Bother Is Here
Waste watchers? UK group fears trash bin spies, small cameras hid in portable potties.
written by Bureau, 06 March 2010
It's Still 100% Probable
Researchers reassert that impact killed dinosaurs, for the 10,000 day in a row.
written by Bureau, 06 March 2010
Obama: No More Beer Conferences
Methane seen as growing climate risk as more and more families have turned to beans due to economy.
written by Bureau, 06 March 2010
No Help For Greece
Merkel: No financial help for Greece. Greece declares war on Germany!
written by Bureau, 06 March 2010
Doom! Gloom! Doom!
Congressional estimates show grim deficit picture. "Shut up and pass my costly health bill anyway!"
written by Bureau, 06 March 2010
Massa Resigns
Massa, facing harassment complaint, resigns. "Republican would have kicked my ass in November anyway."
written by Bureau, 06 March 2010
Gore: Exactly As Predicted.
Upper Midwest braces for severe spring flooding following record snowfall from global warming,
written by Bureau, 06 March 2010
Fair Is Fair!
Va. AG: Colleges can't ban gay discrimination. Report: Gays have just as much right to discriminate as anyone else.
written by Bureau, 06 March 2010
Sounded Like Gunfire
Witness heard 'pop' as Pentagon shooting began. Then a "bang bang! Finally a pop bang pop bang boom pop."
written by Bureau, 06 March 2010
Iceland Delays Payments
Iceland braces for consequences of Icesave vote as they plan on putting owed debt on ice for awhile.
written by Bureau, 06 March 2010
Taleban Deputy Found?
Leading Pakistani Taliban deputy believed killed as body found identified as one Mohammed Fife!
written by Bureau, 06 March 2010
"Ding Dong, The Dinosaurs Are Dead!"
It's official: An asteroid wiped out the dinosaurs. Cave drawings show people dancing around the campfires.
written by Bureau, 06 March 2010
Dinosaurs Destroyed By Asteroid
It's official: An asteroid wiped out the dinosaurs. "Also so ruined Friday night poker game", say writings on cave wall.
written by Bureau, 06 March 2010
Now It's Official
It's official: An asteroid wiped out the dinosaurs as old diary of Barney Rubble discovered in cave.
written by Bureau, 06 March 2010
Obama/Gore Clash!
Obama turns up the heat for health care overhaul. Gets stern warning from Al Gore over the heat!
written by Bureau, 06 March 2010
Neighbors Didn't Know Shooter
Pentagon shooter little known by neighbors. "All that screaming and head-spinning sort of put us off", says neighbor across the road.
written by Bureau, 06 March 2010
Shooter Little Known
Pentagon shooter little known by neighbors. "But he did stop and ask our dog for advice pretty often", states one.
written by Bureau, 06 March 2010
Pentagon Shooter Little Known
Pentagon shooter little known by neighbors. "Hard to visit with all those bullets flying every which way", says guy next door.
written by Bureau, 06 March 2010
Or Somebody Bad, Anyway!
Leading Pakistani Taliban deputy's second cousin, twice removed, believed killed by drone.
written by Bureau, 06 March 2010
New Alice Production
Christian Academy puts on 'Alice in Wonderland' today. Leaves out obviously drugged caterpillar.
written by Bureau, 06 March 2010
Senator To Use Keys?
President to meet with key senators on immigration. "Use those keys to lock our doors until our own people get jobs", says Obama.
written by Bureau, 06 March 2010
Speech Had Sugar Coating
A new congressional report released Friday says the US' long-term fiscal woes are even worse than predicted by President Obama's grim budget submission last month. Still asking for more funding,
written by Bureau, 06 March 2010
One Month Recovery Does Help Some
Recovery? Great. But where are the jobs, Mr. President?
written by Bureau, 06 March 2010
Sexual Assault?
Steelers QB accused of sexual assault in Georgia, and this time it's not Terry Bradshaw and one of his ex-wives.
written by Bureau, 06 March 2010
Ever Really Look At Yor Big Toes?
Happy People Talk More, and With More Substance. Especially with more smoking substance.
written by Bureau, 06 March 2010
Happy People With More Substance.
Happy People Talk More, and With More Substance! Especially with more liquid substance, ole buddy ole palsy wowsy!
written by Bureau, 06 March 2010
Probably One Or The Other
Obesity: How Intestinal Bacteria May Cause Weight Gain. Or it could be those triple burgers with big fries and shake daily.
written by Bureau, 06 March 2010
Some Close Calls
Cruise travelers tell of deadly waves off Spain. Huge sea creatures and almost falling off the edge of the earth.
written by Bureau, 06 March 2010
Off limits
As spoof writers go to town on him the Home Secretary tells them in the name of decency Jon Veneables is off limits
written by Nae mair crap, 06 March 2010
Who Pays For Programs?
Leaked documents show that democrats using scare tactics to keep public's mind on global warming while their hands are in your pockets.
written by Bureau, 06 March 2010
Leaked Documents
Leaked documents reveal GOP plan to use scare tactics to raise money. Planned to wear disguises, hold up trains, stagecoaches.
written by Bureau, 06 March 2010
Mental Illness
Pentagon shooter had a history of mental illness. So does Pentagon for that matter.
written by Bureau, 06 March 2010
The Damn Dude Ranch Has To Close Down
A dude ranch in Montana has had to close down because it has run out of dudes.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 06 March 2010
Japan Is Recalling 2.6 Million Chop Sticks
Japan has just announced a massive recall on chop sticks. It seems that 2.6 million pairs of chop sticks were manufactured backwards.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 06 March 2010
The Brett Favre Do I Retire Or Not Question
Brett Favre has confided to a close friend that he wants to retire but says that he is tired of crying like a little baby.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 06 March 2010
The End of Girl Scout Cookies In Belguim
The Girl Scout Organization of Belgium has announced that instead of selling boxes of Girl Scout cookies, next year they will be selling boxes of Brussels sprouts.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 06 March 2010
The San Francisco Dick Society's 2010 Biggest Dick In America Winner
The San Francisco Dick Society has just named Dick Cheney as its 2010 Biggest Dick in America recipient.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 06 March 2010
"Met Office drops long-term weather forecasts
after fiasco of 'barbecue' summer and 'mild' winter"
written by Tcoah, 06 March 2010
An Asteroid Did It, Killed Off the Dinosaurs
Mystery fan comments, "Gosh, I thought the butler did it."
written by Gail Farrelly, 06 March 2010
Spinach Dip Recalled, May Be Contaminated with Salmonella
Popeye suffers a panic attack.
written by Gail Farrelly, 06 March 2010
Man Bites Off Ear of Another Man During Argument
The perp's defense: "He never listens and has no need for even one ear, much less two of them."
written by Gail Farrelly, 06 March 2010
Children who Directed Air Traffic at JFK Airport Threaten Lawsuit . . .
. . . If they are not paid union-scale pay for their shifts
written by Gail Farrelly, 06 March 2010
New Sarah Palin Show #14
Sarah Palin, VP candidate for John McCain in the 2008 Presidential election has agreed to do a show on Fox this fall entitled: "Brown Murphys"
written by Bureau, 06 March 2010
New Sarah Palin Show #13
Sarah Palin, VP candidate for John McCain in the 2008 Presidential election has agreed to do a show on Fox this fall entitled: "Amazing(Dog)Race"
written by Bureau, 06 March 2010
New Sarah Palin Show #12
Sarah Palin, VP candidate for John McCain in the 2008 Presidential election has agreed to do a show on Fox this fall entitled: "Dancing With The Bars"
written by Bureau, 06 March 2010
Sarah Palin Gets New Show #11
Sarah Palin, VP candidate for John McCain in the 2008 Presidential election has agreed to do a show on Fox this fall entitled: "American Midol"
written by Bureau, 06 March 2010
New Sarah Palin Show #10
Sarah Palin, VP candidate for John McCain in the 2008 Presidential election has agreed to do a show on Fox this fall entitled: "SpongeBath NoPants"
written by Bureau, 06 March 2010
New Sarah Palin Show #9
Sarah Palin, VP candidate for John McCain in the 2008 Presidential election has agreed to do a show on Fox this fall entitled: "Flash(Lean)Forward!"
written by Bureau, 06 March 2010
New Sarah Palin Show #8
Sarah Palin, VP candidate for John McCain in the 2008 Presidential election has agreed to do a show on Fox this fall entitled: "The Big Tang Theory"
written by Bureau, 06 March 2010
New Sarah Palin Show #7
Sarah Palin, VP candidate for John McCain in the 2008 Presidential election has agreed to do a show on Fox this fall entitled: "The Simpletons"
written by Bureau, 06 March 2010
New Sarah Palin Show #6
Sarah Palin, VP candidate for John McCain in the 2008 Presidential election has agreed to do a show on Fox this fall entitled: "The Vampire Dairies"
written by Bureau, 06 March 2010
New Sarah Palin Show #5
Sarah Palin, VP candidate for John McCain in the 2008 Presidential election has agreed to do a show on Fox this fall entitled: "Boners"
written by Bureau, 06 March 2010
New Sarah Palin Show #4
Sarah Palin, VP candidate for John McCain in the 2008 Presidential election has agreed to do a show on Fox this fall entitled: "Desperate Former Governors"
written by Bureau, 06 March 2010
New Sarah Palin Show #3
Sarah Palin, VP candidate for John McCain in the 2008 Presidential election has agreed to do a show on Fox this fall entitled: "Mallville!"
written by Bureau, 06 March 2010
New Sarah Palin Show #2
Sarah Palin, VP candidate for John McCain in the 2008 Presidential election has agreed to do a show on Fox this fall entitled: "Little House Across From Russia"
written by Bureau, 06 March 2010
New Sarah Palin Show!
Sarah Palin, VP candidate for John McCain in the 2008 Presidential election has agreed to do a show on Fox this fall entitled: "Selected Shorts"
written by Bureau, 06 March 2010
Where are my glasses?!
A Canadian man has just completed the world's longest walk, having just circumnavigated his house a record 122,784 times in 15 months 21 days. He originally was looking for his reading glasses. Yeah!!
written by whatinthe world, 06 March 2010
Ethel the frog goes quantity surveying
Chicago, Illinois. Supporters of Barack Obama have burnt effigies of the US President in protest at his decision to revise his health care plan. Many people are predicting violence in the streets.
written by whatinthe world, 06 March 2010
