U.S. Blamed for Earthquake
An earthquake measuring 9.5 on the Richter Scale has struck the coast of Iran. The United States has been blamed.
written by Daniel Bristol, 16 March 2010
Burrowing Owl found nesting at
Llanishen reservoir - found its perfect home said local bird watcher.
written by Tcoah, 16 March 2010
Rare species of burrowing rabbits
Found at Llanishen Reservoir - this species especially likes to build large burrows in clay.
written by Tcoah, 16 March 2010
'Treasure Hunt'
Overheard on a police scanner radio: "Informant says a member of the diamond heist gang buried their multibillion dollar haul in an earth embankment located in north Cardiff."
written by Tcoah, 16 March 2010
Pothole Brakes
The Kentucky House of Representative's C B Embry proposed the leaving of the winter potholes the year around. "They'll stop those runaway Toyotas", stated Embry.
written by Bureau, 16 March 2010
Everyone In White House Can Now Sit Again
Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has dismissed the idea that US-Israeli relations are in crisis amid a row over Jewish settlers in Arab East Jerusalem. Hemroids immediately disappear.
written by Bureau, 16 March 2010
ABBA to Decide Disputed Raffle Prize
"Our decision will be final", said the band, "and the winner takes it all"
written by unknown
Local Strongman Entertains At Zoo
...he p-p-picks up a penguin
written by unknown
"Huge" Lithuanian assaults female police officer with his "BIG ONE" she hasn't recovered yet!
A female police officer assaulted by a massive Lithuanian DICK is still traumatised by the affair, in fact, she still believes it was her truncheon that was used in the assault and not his DICK!
written by unknown
In Florida, Now The Brake Lights Join Left Turn Signals!
New car stickers now seen on the back bumper of Toyota cars, "I Brake For Nothing Or Nobody!"
written by Bureau, 16 March 2010
Another Runaway
The President of Toyota says that runaway Toyota on TV news the other day proved fine in tests. Ask if anyone knew where it is now!
written by Bureau, 16 March 2010
About Sucked Dry
US Government apparently believes there's a sucker born every second. Trouble is, there's not much left to suck!
written by Bureau, 16 March 2010
Haven't See It Yet
President Obama says there are new jobs just around the corner, but when I looked, there was another corner.
written by Bureau, 16 March 2010
We Demand Our Share!
President Obama has announced this week that he has donated all of his Nobel Prize money to a charity that deals with those that have no hope. (That's got to include the Spoof writers.)
written by Bureau, 16 March 2010
Jose Mourinho returns to Chelsea and has nothing to prove, "lose I win, and win I win, no problem!
"Jose "The Special One" is on a win, win, mission this evening, if he loses he will tell everybody that Chelsea really is his team and if he wins, he takes all. Jose really is the "Sly Special One"
written by unknown
Avoid This Movie #21
Code red: Doctors say Do Not go see this movie after eating baked beans at school or cookout: "The Silence Of The Jammed"
written by Bureau, 16 March 2010
Avoid This Movie #20
Code red: Doctors say Do Not go see this movie after eating baked beans at school or cookout: "Das Poot"
written by Bureau, 16 March 2010
Avoid This Movie #19
Code red: Doctors say Do Not go see this movie after eating baked beans at school or cookout: "The Green Pile"
written by Bureau, 16 March 2010
Avoid This Movie #18
Code red: Doctors say Do Not go see this movie after eating baked beans at school or cookout: "The Turd Man"
written by Bureau, 16 March 2010
Avoid This Movie #17
Code red: Doctors say Do Not go see this movie after eating baked beans at school or cookout: "Forest Dump"
written by Bureau, 16 March 2010
Avoid This Movie #16
Code red: Doctors say Do Not go see this movie after eating baked beans at school or cookout: "A Puckered Lips, Pile!"
written by Bureau, 16 March 2010
Avoid This Movie #15
Code red: Doctors say Do Not go see this movie after eating baked beans at school or cookout: "12 Angry Men, One Commode"
written by Bureau, 16 March 2010
Avoid This Movie #14
Code red: Doctors say Do Not go see this movie after eating baked beans at school or cookout: "Shitter's List"
written by Bureau, 16 March 2010
Avoid This Movie #13
Code red: Doctors say Do Not go see this movie after eating baked beans at school or cookout: "Poop Fiction"
written by Bureau, 16 March 2010
Election campaign in hell heats up.
The election campaign in hell began in earnest yesterday when the current lord of darkness urged electorates to stick with him and not some other guy they had no previous knowledge of.
written by John Kerruish, 16 March 2010
A Little Bit Of This & That!
New panel seeks national standards for education. Bringing back hickory sticks, rulers across knuckles. New for nest year, bullet-proof vests for teachers.
written by Bureau, 16 March 2010
Brits Hardened Criminals
The crime hotspot map where Britain's most hardened criminals live, Newcastle-Upon-Concrete.
written by Bureau, 16 March 2010
Warnings To Parents!
Warning - your child is unfit: Parents of pupils who fail school fitness tests to get letters from Fat Nazis.
written by Bureau, 16 March 2010
Avoid This Movie #12
Code red: Doctors say Do Not go see this movie after eating baked beans at school or cookout: "You Got Smell!"
written by Bureau, 16 March 2010
Avoid This Movie #11
Code red: Doctors say Do Not go see this movie after eating baked beans at school or cookout: "The Beerfart Hunter"
written by Bureau, 16 March 2010
Avoid This Movie #10
Code red: Doctors say Do Not go see this movie after eating baked beans at school or cookout: "Leave It To Beaver Bouncer"
written by Bureau, 16 March 2010
Avoid This Movie #9
Code red: Doctors say Do Not go see this movie after eating baked beans at school or cookout: "Back Draft".
written by Bureau, 16 March 2010
Avoid Thi Movie #8
Code red: Doctors say Do Not go see this movie after eating baked beans at school or cookout: "The Color Brown".
written by Bureau, 16 March 2010
Avoid This Movie #7
Code red: Doctors say Do Not go see this movie after eating baked beans at school or cookout: "Emissions Am Possible".
written by Bureau, 16 March 2010
Second Rock Hall Of Fame?
ABBA, Hollies, Genesis, Iggy Pop enter Rock Hall of Fame. Brewer & Shipley threaten to start their own, One-Hit Wonders Hall of Fame nearby.
written by Bureau, 16 March 2010
Milli Vanilla Blackballed
ABBA, Hollies, Genesis, Iggy Pop enter Rock Hall of Fame. The least votes once again, "Milli Vanilli".
written by Bureau, 16 March 2010
New Rock Fame
ABBA, Hollies, Genesis, Iggy Pop enter Rock Hall. Norman Greenbaum told to leave once again.
written by Bureau, 16 March 2010
More Enter R&R Hall Of Fame
ABBA, Hollies, Genesis, Iggy Pop, enter Rock Hall of Fame as Tiny Tim groupies told once again, "Maybe next year".
written by Bureau, 16 March 2010
Jackson In $200M Recording Deal
AP Source: Jackson in $200M-plus recording deal. But not saying much.
written by Bureau, 16 March 2010
Leaky Bowels?
Leaky bowels could delay space shuttle launch. I'm sorry, that should be, "leaky valves".
written by Bureau, 16 March 2010
Long View After Nuclear Attack Not Appreciated
Obama takes the long view in times of crisis..so that Rahm Emanuel, Pelosi and Reid have time to inform him what to do.
written by Bureau, 16 March 2010
Wavering Dems Being Courted
Wavering Dems in Obama's sights on health vote as Obama promises to help gay representatives.
written by Bureau, 16 March 2010
Israel, US Bicker!
US envoy cancels Mideast trip, Israel feud deepens as White House garden, gardener eaten by locusts.
written by Bureau, 16 March 2010
Another British child kidnapped in India.......
and another and another and another.........
written by Proffitt, 16 March 2010
US, Israeli Conflict
US envoy cancels Mideast trip, Israel feud deepens as girls sent home from school with lice!
written by Bureau, 16 March 2010
US, Isreal Problems
US envoy cancels Mideast trip, Israel feud deepens as Obama's mother-in-law turns into a pillar of shit.
written by Bureau, 16 March 2010
Pegleg Pete, Captain Hook
Somali pirates free North Korean chemical tanker as chemicals cause sveral pirates to lose a hand, eye and foot.
written by Bureau, 16 March 2010
The World's Shortest Man Dies Aged 21
The world's shortest man has died at the age of 21 which makes a new record of being the world's shortest-lived, shortest man.
written by IN SEINE, 16 March 2010
US, Israel Fued
US envoy cancels Mideast trip, Israel feud deepens. President Obama's jawbone turns further into an ass.
written by Bureau, 16 March 2010
California 4.4 Earthquake
Magnitude-4.4 earthquake shakes Southern California. "Bunch of wimps" claims Haiti, Chile.
written by Bureau, 16 March 2010
US Cancels Trip To Israel
US envoy cancels Mideast trip, Israel feud deepens, Frogs invade White House. Obama comes down with big case of Hemroids.
written by Bureau, 16 March 2010
Feds Weighing Higher Rates
Fed Government weighs how and when to signal higher rates, taxes. Ordered to hold off tax bill until after November elections.
written by Bureau, 16 March 2010
Tipper May Have Rabies
More rabies cases seen early in year. Acording to Al Gore..(Tipper:) "Shut Up, Al, Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!"
written by Bureau, 16 March 2010
Health Care Madness Ready?
Obama health care leaders say they are almost ready to force through bill no one wants, appropriately during "March Madness!"
written by Bureau, 16 March 2010
Still In Denial
Toyota official that dismissed 'Runaway Toyota report' ran over by Toyota.
written by Bureau, 16 March 2010
Toyota Dismisses 'Wive Tales'
Toyota dismisses Calif. man's runaway Prius report, spurious so-called 'attack at Pearl Harbor".
written by Bureau, 16 March 2010
Figi, Nigi Ask For Aid
Fiji declares state of emergency for cyclone aid. So does Nigi, but UN says they are aware that there is no Nigi, just crocked Nigerians.
written by Bureau, 16 March 2010
Belly Moving To The Beat
Babies love a beat, according to a new study that found dancing comes naturally to infants. Some mothers say they think some were dancing BEFORE they were born.
written by Bureau, 16 March 2010
Baby Dance!
Babies love a beat, according to a new study that found dancing comes naturally to infants. Discovery may create another reality TV program, "Dancing With Her Baby".
written by Bureau, 16 March 2010
New Facebook Friends
Break the law and your new 'friend' may be the FBI. May even go by names like 'Fed' or 'Bureau'.
written by Bureau, 16 March 2010
Texas Textbooks Twice As Big!
U.S. history textbooks could soon be flavored heavily with Texas conservatism with 'the Alamo' ahead of WW I and WW II, concluding with 'that Muslim in the White House'.
written by Bureau, 16 March 2010
New Life Discovered
In surprising discovery scientists for the first time found a shrimp-like creature & a jellyfish frolicking beneath a huge Antarctic ice sheet. Al Gore proclaims it's a sign..but Tipper Shuts him up.
written by Bureau, 16 March 2010
Stevens May Retire
Stevens considers retiring from Supreme Court. At 89, Stevens "But I didn't know I was on this court thing, jut that these other 8 old farts were jibber-jabbing a lot."
written by Bureau, 16 March 2010
Stop what you're eating
Reports just in that food makes you fat, food raises your cholesterol, food causes diabetes, food causes heart disease. Don't kill yourself, don't eat food again.
written by Jo Dash, 16 March 2010
Begorrah! Ignorance is Bliss.
Don't ask, don't tell St. Patrick about your plans for St. Patrick's Day. He'd rather not know.
written by Gail Farrelly, 16 March 2010
In light of her separation Kate Winslet asks men to get up to be counted
See supra
written by Tcoah, 16 March 2010
Brain Scanners Coming
Brain scanners coming that can read minds. Still won't replace the fun of water boarding, says Dick Cheney.
written by Bureau, 16 March 2010
Brain Scanners
Brain scanners coming that can read minds. Men everywhere preparing the be slapped on a regular basis!
written by Bureau, 16 March 2010
Eating Whale Meat
California Restaurant charged with selling whale meat, especially pink floyd as an aphrodisiac.
written by Bureau, 16 March 2010
Save More Water
Environmentalists and animal rights activists have updated a water conservation slogan to "Save water shower with a friend, a cow, a chicken, some sheep and your dog!"
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 16 March 2010
Pelosi Retiring in 2011
House Speaker Pelosi and George W Bush have settled their differences! Ms. Pelosi will become the head librarian at the GWB library, requiring that she relocates from San Francisco CA to Crawford TX.
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 16 March 2010
John Doe Released from Prison
A 77 year old John Doe was released from prison today. He served 50 years because he refused to buy mandated health care insurance!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 16 March 2010
Torture?
ACLU sues the CIA for making captured terrorists listen to repetitive TV commercials to get these people to talk.
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 16 March 2010
New Climate Change Study
The latest UN study indicates that by removing Carbon Dioxide (CO2) from the atmosphere, lady's breasts will shrink by two sizes by 2035!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 16 March 2010
Information on the Internet
The Obama Administration puts the TSA security procedures on the internet, but neglects to put the health care reform negotiations on C-SPAN!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 16 March 2010
Avoid This Movie #6
Code red: Doctors say Do Not go see this movie after eating baked beans at school or cookout: "Ragin' Stool!"
written by Bureau, 16 March 2010
Avoid This Movie #5
Code red: Doctors say Do Not go see this movie after eating baked beans at school or cookout: "Going Like The Wind!"
written by Bureau, 16 March 2010
Avoid This Movie #4
Code red: Doctors say Do Not go see this movie after eating baked beans at school or cookout: "O Bother, Why Fart Thou?"
written by Bureau, 16 March 2010
Avoid This Movie #3
Code red: Doctors say Do Not go see this movie after eating baked beans at school or cookout: "An Inconvenient Poot"
written by Bureau, 16 March 2010
Avoid This Movie #2
Code red: Doctors say Do Not go see this movie after eating baked beans at school or cookout: "James Bond, Agent 007's Pulled Finger!"
written by Bureau, 16 March 2010
Avoid This Movie
Code red: Doctors say Do Not go see this movie after eating baked beans at school or cookout: "There's Some Kind Of Shit About Mary"
written by Bureau, 16 March 2010
