Queens bills
Buckingham Palace have ended up with a huge number of unexpected bills after Beaumont, Turnbull and Elliot all turned up for honours alongside Windsor who is guaranteed one when his dad dies.
written by Jimbo123, 20 July 2010
Chinese Restaurant Crackdown
China vows to stop restaurant reuse of cooking oil after even the salad tasted like chicken.
written by Bureau, 20 July 2010
Should Have Checked GPS
Driver error may have caused Indian train crash. "I turned right instead of left.
written by Bureau, 20 July 2010
Mel: Gotcha
Former girlfriend recalls daring escape from Mel Gibson. News hounds appear. It was a movie.
written by Bureau, 20 July 2010
BA Unions: Walsh...You Unreasonable Prick!
Hard done by, work 10 days a month cabin crew have rejected the latest BA offer to settle their ridiculous dispute. "All we want is the moon on a stick" said one disappointed soft cunt trolley dolly.
written by The Big C O Jones, 20 July 2010
Dead People Washing Ashore?
Dead people washing up on Brazil beaches worry scientists.. I am sorry, that should be penguins.
written by Bureau, 20 July 2010
Blago Case Resting
Lawyer for Rod Blagojevich's brother says he may rest mental case.
written by Bureau, 20 July 2010
Record Time
Unemployment benefits extension clears Senate hurdle, headed toward second.
written by Bureau, 20 July 2010
Hers Comes Mr. Bill's Oil Cap
Mud, cement, Mr. Bill (Oh NOooo!) may be pumped in well cap to help contain oil.
written by Bureau, 20 July 2010
Teacher Conduct Investigations will only go down when....
Teacher Conduct Invistigations will only decrease in number when teachers are allowed to make Parent Conduct Invesigations. After all....you don't need training to be a parent..and that is obvious...
written by unknown
Apollo 11 film now has sound restored
Footage recorded during Apollo 11 moon landing in 1969 has been synchronised with its corresponding audio. We'll now be able to hear astonauts arguing about whether or not they are REALLY on th moon.
written by unknown
Man rescued from Oil slick
A Chinese worker was pulled to safety today as he was almost dragged away in an oil slick. It appears he went swimming in a lake with his Mexican pals, and oil from their hair leaked into the lake.
written by unknown
Death threat to 82 yr. old Queen of Belgium
Belgians rush to protect their Queen after she received a postcard telling her she had only 21 days to live. No one noticed it was signed by her doctor who she had asked to be up front with her.
written by unknown
Coffee drinker's symposium
This year's Coffee Drinker's Symposium will be held in Manchester's GMEX, we kick off on Friday at 10pm, and finish on Monday at 2am. Hope to see you there!
written by IainB, 20 July 2010
Wife admits "My Bonnie Lies Over The Ocean"
If her "bonnie" is a politician, he probably lies regardless of where he is in the world.
written by unknown
Lindsay Lohan Scheduled To Report To Jail Today
Friends plan on throwing her a "going away Rave."
written by unknown
Baskin Robbins to drop 5 ice cream varieties
Economy forces them to be known as "26 flavors"
written by unknown
Goldman Profit Slides, Drops
Goldman profit slides on SEC charge, revenue drops, so do three in management, from window ledges.
written by Bureau, 20 July 2010
Ex-M15 Testifies
Ex-M15 spy chief testifies at UK's Iraq inquiry. Uses so many initials that no one can understand him.
written by Bureau, 20 July 2010
Iran Adopts Bill
Iran's parliament adopts bill against inspections, being bombed!
written by Bureau, 20 July 2010
States Sue Feds
5 Great Lakes states sue feds over Asian carp, Chicago crap.
written by Bureau, 20 July 2010
"Up Yours!"
Lindsay Lohan due in court to report for jail term. Has new message for judge on her toenails.
written by Bureau, 20 July 2010
Police Bust Cockfighting
Police bust alleged cock ring fighting. That should be "cockfighting ring".
written by Bureau, 20 July 2010
Pet Owners Want Healthcare Changes
US pet owners paying for high-tech veterinary care. Should be covered in Obama Health Care Bill!
written by Bureau, 20 July 2010
Pets Go High Tech!
US pet owners paying for high-tech veterinary care. Deballing lazers next in line?
written by Bureau, 20 July 2010
Vets High Tech!
US pet owners paying for high-tech veterinary care as many CAT scans are being performed on cats.
written by Bureau, 20 July 2010
Female Priests?
Vatican: Ordaining female priests on par with pedophilia. At least 100 pedophile priests say they are in favor of having female priests.
written by Bureau, 20 July 2010
Female Priests Like Pedophilia?
Vatican: Ordaining female priests on par with pedophilia. If true, then there should be at least 100,000 female priests by now!
written by Bureau, 20 July 2010
Lots Of Assing Around In Koreas
US, South Korea to conduct military drills next week. North Korea responds: "We can red ass too!"
written by Bureau, 20 July 2010
"Remember That Time?....."
Blago expected to follow brother to witness stand. "Just like when we were kids" comments cut short by judges hammer.
written by Bureau, 20 July 2010
Dems Working In Fear
Midterm elections: Democrats start to fear Senate losses. Having to come home to explain what they have been up to.
written by Bureau, 20 July 2010
Listgate?
'Outing' illegal immigrants: Utah grapples with 'listgate' as Ute Indians send telephone book of illegal immigrants.
written by Bureau, 20 July 2010
Each Taking Sides
LatAm nations bid to join Mexico in Arizona case of getting rid of illegal immigrants. However, Native Americans side with Arizona.
written by Bureau, 20 July 2010
Simply Living
89-square-foot house transforms one man's life! "For one thing, I had to lose 100 pounds," says owner.
written by Bureau, 20 July 2010
Where's Stephen King?
Spider-infested ship turned back from Guam landing. Crawls it's way back out to sea with everyone jumping overboard.
written by Bureau, 20 July 2010
Jason Meets The Spider Ship?
Spider-infested ship turned back from Guam landing. Hope to sell recordings to a film company.
written by Bureau, 20 July 2010
Wide-Eyed Primate Caught
Wide-eyed primate caught on camera for first time. It was my next door neighbor and his wife caught him sneaking in at 3AM!
written by Bureau, 20 July 2010
Paid Not To Work, Not Working
Democrats to give jobless benefits another vote. Obama: If we don't keep giving people money, how will they ever get a job?
written by Bureau, 20 July 2010
Must Have Had A Biggun!
Wide-eyed prostitute caught on camera for first time. I'm sorry, tht should be "primate".
written by Bureau, 20 July 2010
Primate Caught On Camera
Wide-eyed primate caught on camera for first time. Camera catches him in "act against nature".
written by Bureau, 20 July 2010
Line Up Of Jury Apparences
Toyota says subpoenaed by U.S. federal grand jury. Also by Britain, France and 20 other countries. "But our cars are the best!"
written by Bureau, 20 July 2010
More Japanese Recalls
Toyota says subpoenaed by U.S. federal grand jury. "We'll be there just as soon as we straighten everything up in Japan.
written by Bureau, 20 July 2010
Bit Of A Bother
Toyota says subpoenaed by U.S. federal grand jury. Agree to recall all US cars since 2005.
written by Bureau, 20 July 2010
Just For Show
Karzai reaffirms 2014 goal for Afghan-led security. Does request rotating a few, say 10,000 UN troops each year afterward to keep a presence there.
written by Bureau, 20 July 2010
Karzai Reaffirms 2014 Goal
Karzai reaffirms 2014 goal for Afghan-led security. However, could use a little help until 2025.
written by Bureau, 20 July 2010
Feds Skepical
Feds look past oil leaking from BP's cap. Say things may get worse as oil leaks still finding way to surface. Could explode from pressure, create Huge wave. Kill millions. Otherwise, looks fine.
written by Bureau, 20 July 2010
The Spoof Website Gets a New Look
Wonder Woman is miffed. "I thought I was the only one getting a makeover," she said.
written by Gail Farrelly, 20 July 2010
Sarah Palin Repudiates Her Twitter Messages
Sarah Palin today repudiated the fact that she asked Muslims in New York to refudiate the mosque being planned in close proximity to the ground zero site. She refused to refute she couldn't spell.
written by Charpa93, 20 July 2010
Line Of Cereal Cut
General Mills announced today that they will not be making anymore Blueberry Horse Muffins due to lack of sales.
written by Bureau, 20 July 2010
"Greens! Must have greens!"
After careful study, physicians say that there are no real zombies in Arkansas, just too much inter-family breeding!
written by Bureau, 20 July 2010
What About That?
Newly discovered records show that Adolf Hitler was also prone to poke his underlings in the eyes with two fingers.
written by Bureau, 20 July 2010
Candy Pulled From Shelves
The Meers Candy Corporation has recalled all their "Payback" candy bars.
written by Bureau, 20 July 2010
Rude Awakening
Patient at hospital in Trenton, New Jersey claims that he woke up while having surgery and heard "Look, that makes FOUR appendix!"
written by Bureau, 20 July 2010
Extremely Rare Coin?
A coin collector in Westchester, Massachusetts claims he has bought a rare buffalo nickel that has a moose on it. Of course, it could be a fake. Says guy assured him that it was one of a kind.
written by Bureau, 20 July 2010
Look Out Now!
Newscasters say oil spill threatened by possible tropical storm, earthquakes and tsunamis by this weekend. Starting to cry over their big story petering out!
written by Bureau, 20 July 2010
When is a Tax Not a Tax?
Lone Ranger: President Obama calls health care cost a mandate not a tax. Attorney General Holder calls health care cost a tax. Tonto: Democratic far left wing liberal loons speak with forked tongue!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 20 July 2010
Political Name Change
New poll suggests people who live inside the Washington DC Beltway are out of touch with the rest of the USA. Congress considers renaming this area "The Twilight Zone!"
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 20 July 2010
Oil Spill Epidemic
A salad dressing manufacturer in Salinas Valley CA (agricultural heart of the USA) spills millions of gallons of oil & vinegar dressing. Americans are invited to vacation here & bring a knife & fork!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 20 July 2010
Marx Brothers and Keystone Cops Still Performing
Comedy is popular in Washington DC. The Marx Brothers are performing at one end of Pennsylvania Avenue and the Keystone Cops at the other end (White House at one end and US Capitol at the other end)!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 20 July 2010
It's Magic Stupid
President Obama selects Harry Potter as his Magic Czar. The president indicated that he has tried everything else to stimulate the US economy and create new private sector jobs, so why not magic.
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 20 July 2010
Is There a Doctor in the House?
President Obama keeps saying "you will be able to keep your own doctor!" Americans sure hope so, when they get the bill for the Health Care Reform legislation, a good doctor will be needed!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 20 July 2010
Democrats in Trouble?
VP Biden was on the Sunday talk shows doing damage control about Democratic liberals losing the US House. If former VP candidate Geraldine Ferraro shows up, then the Democrats really are in trouble!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 20 July 2010
Democratic Food Police Scandal
First Lady's "Let's Move!" campaign goal, is to put a stop to childhood obesity within a generation. The food police have taken this literally, replacing toys in kid's fast food meals with laxatives!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 20 July 2010
Cuban Breakthrough in Human Cloning Premature
Fidel Castro appeared in public again. Cuban researchers may not have mastered the art of human cloning, as Castro's remarks about world events indicate his cerebral abilities are malfunctioning!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 20 July 2010
"Congratulations You Won"
"Congratulations You Won" on The Spoof Homepage. Mark has promised every spoof writer that wins, which is everybody, a free fortnight at his place including meals.
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 20 July 2010
Bush Tax Cuts Now Seen as Good by Democrats
Lone Ranger: Democrats, who were against the Bush tax cuts for the rich, now discover 80% went to people making less than $250,000. Tonto: House Speaker Pelosi speak with forked tongue.
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 20 July 2010
Jeff Foxworthy Getting It While He Can!
Scientists have determined that there are only 1103 more ways that a person can tell if they're a redneck.
written by Bureau, 20 July 2010
First Sperm Donor
In an ironic turn of events, records found at the first sperm bank show that the first person ever to donate sperm there was one Johnny Sampleseed.
written by Bureau, 20 July 2010
