True Grit
The snow has fallen quite heavily in parts of the UK and dentists are very busy gritting peoples teeth!
written by IN SEINE, 06 January 2010
Scrooge Still Alive
Tennessee man keeps roll of dimes in his car's glove compartment just in case there's a roadblock for charity ahead.
written by Bureau, 06 January 2010
Salahi's In Lion's Game
Tareq and Michaele Salahi admit that they played in one who set of plays for the Detroit Lions last Sunday. Tareq suffers turf toe injury.
written by Bureau, 06 January 2010
Visits Down!
Authorities say that visits to "The Tomb Of The Unknown Jumper" near Wall Street are down as reality of economy sets in.
written by Bureau, 06 January 2010
Obama Administration Better
Poll determines that a Vice President shooting someone in the face since President Obama has been in office off 100%, if you don't count Joe Biden's mouth.
written by Bureau, 06 January 2010
Harrrrk, Ye Land Lubbers!
Bulletin: Pirrrate rrrradio stations arrrrrrrrrr beginning to appearrrr all acrrrrross Amerrrrrrica!
written by Bureau, 06 January 2010
Turf Wars In NJ
Big fight for turf in New Jersey as Gang Who Watched Violence On TV rumbles with Gang That Played Violent Video Games.
written by Bureau, 06 January 2010
We Done Did It!
Kentucky congress removes ban from previously banned hand guns. Then argue for ten hours over just what that meant, finally stopping with three shots fired into the air and loud cheers.
written by Bureau, 06 January 2010
"Celts Only" - Cold Weather Payments Joy
Despite escaping the extreme weather Premier Gordon Brown has given a 6th cold weather payment for Strathclyde in Western Scotland. Local residents are laughing all the way to the pub and tobacconists
written by iscrivener, 06 January 2010
Woods Estate Surrounded
Latest report: Arnie's Army now have Tiger Woods gated community entirely surrounded.
written by Bureau, 06 January 2010
Bi-Polar Bear Study
Scientists discover that bi-polar bears play with their victims before eating them.
written by Bureau, 06 January 2010
Alcohol Causes Social Disease
New study finds that a large consumption of alcohol could lead to catching a social disease.
written by Bureau, 06 January 2010
Bin Laden Escapes
CIA find Bin Laden's hideout by placing his name on Google. However, he dodges trap after Googling CIA.
written by Bureau, 06 January 2010
"Here To Report, Old Whatsisname!"
Critics say that "60 Minutes" losing it's bearings lately due to rusty anchors.
written by Bureau, 06 January 2010
Police Used Midget
Two more priests in Ireland caught trying to capture the youth market!
written by Bureau, 06 January 2010
No SS Raise!
People who draw social security say that Obama using a hand puppet to tell them that they would get no raise this year wasn't funny in the least.
written by Bureau, 06 January 2010
Have To Look Close
Artist inscribes the Great Wall of China on a single grain of rice.
written by Bureau, 06 January 2010
Breastfeeding Benefits Questioned
Scientists have told women not to believe all the health benefits of breastfeeding. "It only seems beneficial to men, who gather to watch" they said.
written by Earl Grey, 06 January 2010
Better Think It Over
Report: The whole American economy depends upon whether or not we "want fries with that?".
written by Bureau, 06 January 2010
Obama Addresses Terrorism
President Barack Obama announced last night in weekly speech that in response to latest terror threat on airplane, "we must pass my health care bill."
written by Bureau, 06 January 2010
"Twelve Inch Part" True
FDA finally gets off its ass long enough to ban twelve-inch penis pills from Nigeria, after several get long pills hung in throat.
written by Bureau, 06 January 2010
Proud Parent?
Hubble telescope captures earliest images of universe - when it was just a 'baby' at 600 million years. Constantly asking scientists if they want to see it's new picture album.
written by Bureau, 06 January 2010
Baby Formula No Fun To Watch
Breast is NOT best: Mother's milk no better than baby formula, scientists claim. Admits that they're more entertaining.
written by Bureau, 06 January 2010
Global Warming Controversy Continues
BBC Trust to review science coverage amid claims of bias over climate change, "just as soon as this snow and ice finally melt."
written by Bureau, 06 January 2010
He's Had Enough
Man who was upset over wheelie bin fines, sits in his and punches out two collectors when they take off the lid.
written by Bureau, 06 January 2010
Parking Wardens Busy
Parking wardens issue more than £40,000 of fines in 400ft street over last three years. Credit "Free Parking Sign" in big letters, "for 2 minutes" in small.
written by Bureau, 06 January 2010
They Can Turn On You
'Batboat' takes on the whalers... and loses: Hi-tech trimaran 'Ady Gil' sheared in half after being rammed by Japanese vessel, crew eaten by whales!
written by Bureau, 06 January 2010
Twins Sign With The Twins
Conjoined Twins, Mary and Terry McBriar of North Carolina have signed a contracted to be a mascot for the Minnesota Twins this Spring.
written by Bureau, 06 January 2010
Twins Win!
Mary and Terry McBriar once again win the sack race at the county fair in North Carolina.
written by Bureau, 06 January 2010
Twins At Party
Mary and Terry McBriar, conjoined twins from Asheville, North Carolina, once again went to a costumed New Year's Party as a horse.
written by Bureau, 06 January 2010
Bride In Jail
Bride who stole £470,000 from her employer to pay for dream wedding jailed for 2 year nightmare.
written by Bureau, 06 January 2010
Britain Ice-Bound
Ice-bound Britain is paralyzed by the biggest snowfall for years and grit and gas supplies are already running low. US state of Georgia offers to send in some grits.
written by Bureau, 06 January 2010
Pilot Admits He Was Over Drink Limit
United Airlines pilot admits being over drink limit. "I'd guess that I was about 100 feet above the plane."
written by Bureau, 06 January 2010
JetBlue Expands
JetBlue expands presence to include JetLavender in San Francisco.
written by Bureau, 06 January 2010
Another Brilliant Speech!
Obama says 'dots' not connected, colors wrongly painted outside the lines, in airline attack.
written by Bureau, 06 January 2010
Barker Helping Anti-Whaling Group
Bob Barker helps stop whaling with namesake ship, "The Price Is...No More Whales".
written by Bureau, 06 January 2010
No Rise In Drug Approvals
FDA drug approvals mostly concerns fat in 2009. I'm sorry, "mostly flat in 2009".
written by Bureau, 06 January 2010
Body Language
Obama critic urges firings in airliner close call! Heads will row, Fire their asses, etc etc.
written by Bureau, 06 January 2010
Senator Dodd Retires
Connecticut Senator Dodd to retire to spent more time at wild and crazy Connecticut hot spots.
written by Bureau, 06 January 2010
Witnesses Appalled
Boats collide into each other during anti-whaling clash at Sea World in Florida.
written by Bureau, 06 January 2010
Freeze Hits South
Cold snap gripping Gulf states threatens to crackle and pop power lines!
written by Bureau, 06 January 2010
Always Be Ready
Kentucky preps for cold weather as emergency crews practice in huge freezers and coolers.
written by Bureau, 06 January 2010
120 Witnesses Come Forth
Thirty two robberies and seventeen holdups lead to Tennessee man's arrest.
written by Bureau, 06 January 2010
Ask Your Doctor If Its Safe For You
Fight against fat goes high-tech with new devices and creations such as the one month tape worm.
written by Bureau, 06 January 2010
Freeze Damaging Crops
Cold snap gripping Gulf states threatens Florida citrus crop and late planted marijuana crops in southern Alabama, Georgia.
written by Bureau, 06 January 2010
Moby's Revenge
Boats collide in anti-whaling clash in Antarctica after being lured by a great white whale with skeleton attached to side.
written by Bureau, 06 January 2010
Charley Caught
Giant tuna fetches $177,000 at Japan fish auction as "Charley" had let himself go after losing Star Kist tuna commercial spot. Sorry Charley.
written by Bureau, 06 January 2010
Strike Three!
Double Atomic bomb survivor dies in Japan as Godzilla finally catches up to him.
written by Bureau, 06 January 2010
I'm Done Here
3 Democrats - 2 senators, 1 governor - to retire, spend time moving money around from Swiss banks before they are checked.
written by Bureau, 06 January 2010
President Obama Issues Stern Warning During Press Briefing
"This is the last time I'm going to warn you! Please! Please! Please! Stop waking up Helen Thomas! She's an old lady and she needs her rest!"
written by Adam Click, 06 January 2010
Southern England brought to a standstill under eight inches of Cocaine
God takes responsibility, "I pushed the wrong button and dumped my stash by accident" He described how he realised his mistake after snorting three lines of snow and got a killer ice cream headache.
written by Frank Miller, 06 January 2010
New "No-Fly" List to Include All Spoof Writers
Trans-Atlantic Steamer Service to be Resumed.
written by Richard DagNabbit, 06 January 2010
How to save the planet
Everyone should wear an Eddy Bauer welded to their body throughout winter - office and home heating bills would grind down to zero. Eddy Bauer = 'win win'
written by Tcoah, 06 January 2010
Grim O'Bama Says Terror Dots Not Connected
Smiling Hillary and Bob Connecting Dots with No Problem.
written by Richard DagNabbit, 06 January 2010
O'Bama to Get Terror Update (Again)
Somebody is ready to execute a Master Game Plan.
Who and what might it be?
Keep reading the Spoof to figure out the truth.
written by Richard DagNabbit, 06 January 2010
Is the Fed Rigging the Stock Market?
If they did, who would benefit?
Yep, its probably true.
written by Richard DagNabbit, 06 January 2010
US Lowers Threshold for "No-Fly" Status
Sales of beard trimmers and peroxide jumping.
written by Richard DagNabbit, 06 January 2010
Belly Too Potted?
Owner of pot-bellied pig in Florida says house broken into and pig looks like it's drugged.
written by Bureau, 06 January 2010
Why O'Bama Should Meet with Cheney
Every Dog Should Know who is Holding the Leash!
written by Richard DagNabbit, 06 January 2010
Cardinals Flock To Vatican
Flocks of Cardinals now in the Vatican trying to improve their pecking order.
written by Bureau, 06 January 2010
Rumor: Jordanian Doctor Blew Up CIA Officers
U.S. Generals back up in the air again awaiting landing destination in Jordan. Invasion to follow.
written by Richard DagNabbit, 06 January 2010
See No Evil
The Holy See says they have seen nothing unusual about priests accused of being abusive by choir boys.
written by Bureau, 06 January 2010
Up Your Currancy!
US Treasury agents, tired of hearing complaints from other countries about the dollar, places "The Bird" on Bills instead of eagle.
written by Bureau, 06 January 2010
Obama Back In Power
Barack Obama back in power after weekend threat of overthrow by his Mother-In-Law during the Obamas Hawaiian vacation.
written by Bureau, 06 January 2010
Is it Time to Start Profiling?
Tiger won't be pleased with this new development.
written by Richard DagNabbit, 06 January 2010
