Manson Out of It!
"Cell" Phone: Charles Manson Busted with a Mobile. Helter Skelter psycho called people in California, NJ and Florida to say 'hippie dodooo'.
written by Bureau, 04 December 2010
Branch Bank!
Chase Bank orders branch to remove Christmas tree. Workers remove tree but keep branches. After all, they say, we're a branch bank.
written by Bureau, 04 December 2010
Sony releases 22in TV
"I'm glad it's all over!" said the cross dressing dwarf.
written by Julian Shure, 04 December 2010
Charles Manson Caught With Phone
Charles Manson said he liked the cell phone reception he got in solitary confinement, but was sad to see the guards didn't want him to have a phone.
written by UWGB-Beek, 04 December 2010
WikiLeaks Loses PayPal, but Still Has Google AdSsense
WikiLeaks lost a source of revenue when PayPal stopped their services. They did point out that they still were using Google AdSense, so the website should stay up and running for awhile.
written by UWGB-Beek, 04 December 2010
Obama Can't Beat Bully Republicans
Obama can't win when it comes to getting anything past Republicans, and he even called them "Bullies" for all the mean stuff they were saying about him.
written by UWGB-Beek, 04 December 2010
Spain's Deputy PM says strike will not happen again
The Deputy Prime Ministers wife has since forgiven him, as long as it never happens again.
written by Julian Shure, 04 December 2010
Palin pleads confusion as shots ricochet off neighbours' homes
"I was house huntin'! That's still legal in this country, ain't it?"
written by Catherine the Average, 04 December 2010
"I'm Not Up For A Seventh Take!"
Couple in Viagra commercial begin calling each other bad names after sixth take: "Teenie Weenie!", "Bear's Ass!"
written by Bureau, 04 December 2010
Reasons Jobs Are Scarce
4 Reasons Jobs Remain So Scarce! Number One: There are a lot fewer businesses to hire you since they're belly-up also.
written by Bureau, 04 December 2010
More & More Government
Report: More Government Involvement Needed in College Search Process! Also, in helping you find that stupid TV remote that has gotten your blood pressure up again!
written by Bureau, 04 December 2010
Health Buzz: Government Sets Health Goals for 2020
Everyone will naturally be thinner because of the wrecked economy and lack of food.
written by Bureau, 04 December 2010
Hillary: This Time It's Not Bill!
The Thing in the Senate Basement has apparently hauled away another intern.
written by Bureau, 04 December 2010
UN Sending Spies?
Iran says UN agency sending spies, not inspectors. "It says so right here in this WikiLeak."
written by Bureau, 04 December 2010
Doctor Resigns
Doctor finds himself telling patient to "Take two aspirins and call me in the morning." Resigns.
written by Bureau, 04 December 2010
Another NASA Delay
NASA delays space shuttle launch until next year after someone had spit some gum out and it was strung out all over the ground. Something going on here.
written by Bureau, 04 December 2010
Biden Gives Assurances
VP promised the American people today that there would never be another 911! "At least for a thousand years."
written by Bureau, 04 December 2010
Ivory Coast In Chaos
Ivory Coast dispute leaves 2 presidents, complete chaos! Worse than Florida after 2000 election.
written by Bureau, 04 December 2010
Uk puts freeze on Scandinavia
" Uk puts freeze on Scandinavia ? "
Sounds like a case for Vaug Veum,or he Norwegian ?The franch have enough to worry about with Inspector Clouseau as their Chief inspector and the Pink Panther?
written by mancalledhorsemanure, 04 December 2010
Uk puts freeze on Scandinavia
" Uk puts freeze on Scandinavia ? "
Sounds like a case for Vaug Veum, or he Norwegian ? The franch have enough to worry about with Inspector Clouseau as their Chief inspector and the Pink Panther?
written by mancalledhorsemanure, 04 December 2010
Drunk Now Homeless
Drunk returns home to bench to find squatters have taken control of it.
written by Bureau, 04 December 2010
German Woman Arrested
German arrested in US spider smuggling sting. The notorious "Black Widow" has finally been tracked down.
written by Bureau, 04 December 2010
Princess Anne Tweet
Just back from stables. Gave horses Sainsbury's hays-of-the-world advent calendar.
written by Catherine the Average, 04 December 2010
Sour Note
Royal Variety organizers declined Cameron and Clegg offer to sing duet at December 10th event.
written by Catherine the Average, 04 December 2010
Gordon Brown to Deliver Channel 4's Alternative Christmas Message
Record high ratings anticipated for Queen.
written by Catherine the Average, 04 December 2010
Princess Anne Tweet
You don't follow do you? Andrew and I don't give a toss what you think.
written by Catherine the Average, 04 December 2010
Say what you really mean
Mitch McConnell says it's a "very sensible decision not to raise taxes on anybody during a recession." His vote says he'll raise taxes on everybody unless America's wealthy get a big, fat tax break.
written by The San Francisco Onion, 04 December 2010
She Was Wearing Gloves
World's hottest pepper is 'hot enough to strip paint'. sent that one guy who broke up with his girlfriend in Wendys to go screaming out the door.
written by Bureau, 04 December 2010
PayPal Cuts WikiLeaks
PayPal cuts WikiLeaks from money flow. This after rumors that PayPal would get their comeuppance next.
written by Bureau, 04 December 2010
Apologies To Hookers
Senate showdown may pave way for rear-end tax deal. I'm sorry, that should have been 'year-end tax deal. Please ignore the first part if you're a hooker.
written by Bureau, 04 December 2010
I'm Being Followed By A Moon Goddess
UN Global Warming summit begins with prayer to 'Mayan moon goddess', Charlene Darling.
written by Bureau, 04 December 2010
We're Number One!
Nation's '2nd Most Dangerous City' To Lay Off Nearly Half Of Police Force. Mayor says they are bound for number one!
written by Bureau, 04 December 2010
Chicken Worker Dies Playing Chicken
Worker at chicken factory sucked into machine, decapitated, bagged before workers noticed the big bag.
written by Bureau, 04 December 2010
Goodbye Internet Freedom
Wave goodbye to Internet freedom. FCC crosses the Rubicon into online regulation. No more naked movie stars, singers or politicians on The Spoof!
written by Bureau, 04 December 2010
No More Public Office!
HILLARY: Secretary of State will be 'my last public position'. "I'd like to say it's been pleasant serving you but instead, I'll ask each one of you to kiss my pant-suited ass!"
written by Bureau, 04 December 2010
Senate Rejects Obama Plan
Senate Rejects Obama's Tax Plan, Setting Stage for Deal. "You gotta know when to hold them, know when to fold them", says Joe Biden.
written by Bureau, 04 December 2010
WP7 - 'Market Leader'
Microsoft announced this afternoon that Windows Phone 7 is the best seller in their target market, namely "Rip-off of iPhone'.
written by thebalancer, 04 December 2010
Thatcher abandons Cameron
"Not nearly unkind enough."
written by Catherine the Average, 04 December 2010
Cat Fight Brewing?
SuBo's Pebbles rumoured to have signed recording contract.
written by Catherine the Average, 04 December 2010
Attention Span Deficits Hit UK News Cycle
Fifa is the new WikiLeaks
written by Catherine the Average, 04 December 2010
Qatar Looking For WCUP Fans!
Qatar must win over skeptical World Cup fans as many still having trouble finding it on the map.
written by Bureau, 04 December 2010
Spider-Man Musical Pretty Sorry?
Producer of Spider-Man musical not climbing walls according to the latest news on the Web.
written by Bureau, 04 December 2010
Step Out Of Your Car & Let Me Measure You
Study says even being a bit overweight is risky, especially around the Fat Police in California.
written by Bureau, 04 December 2010
Needs More Study?
Panel recommends expanding use of stomach bands. Told that expanding them will cause them not to work.
written by Bureau, 04 December 2010
Hitting US Early?
One in three Americans already got their flu shit this year.
written by Bureau, 04 December 2010
Cyber Attack Hits India
Cyber attack hits India's investigative agency but so far none has hit TheSpoof thanks to fluber bandersnatch.
written by Bureau, 04 December 2010
Cyber Attack!
India's federal investigative agency says its website has been temporarily shut down by a cyber attack blamed on a Pakistani group. "We will return fire..wall."
written by Bureau, 04 December 2010
Hooked Up In Bed?
Experts keep close eye on badly injured whale. One observes that maybe they should put in back in the water.
written by Bureau, 04 December 2010
One Nearly Made It
2 more rare red foxes confirmed in Sierra Nevada hunter's traps.
written by Bureau, 04 December 2010
Not Nice To Fool Mother Nature
As climate talks drag on, more ponder techno-fixes like seeding clouds. Others ask, "Hasn't anyone been watching those old B-Horror movies?"
written by Bureau, 04 December 2010
Thanks NKorea
SKorea trade pact could mean thousands of US jobs as factories reopen producing weapons.
written by Bureau, 04 December 2010
This Should Help
Senate to vote on Democratic tax cut plans for those making $8,000 or less.
written by Bureau, 04 December 2010
Freedom Of Speech
Texas Rep. Ron Paul: Don't prosecute WikiLeaks' Julian Assange because of freedom of speech. Told to sit down and shut up.
written by Bureau, 04 December 2010
Rangel Not Winning Any Friends
Rangel: I don't deal in average American citizens, just the elite like myself.
written by Bureau, 04 December 2010
Average Joes Recognized
Average joes welcomed alongside celebs at Elaine's Restaurant. Also, at most theaters and performances.
written by Bureau, 04 December 2010
Kenyan WikiLeaks
Kenya PM's Call to Arrest Gays Jeopardizes HIV Prevention! WikiLeaks: Obama's father was gay..in between women.
written by Bureau, 04 December 2010
Of All The Luck
Ex-contractor gets 7 years in fraud case, after breaking mirror when shaving before trial.
written by Bureau, 04 December 2010
Better Act Dumb!
Ranking among the brainiest cities are Boulder, Colorado. No Zombies Allowed!!
written by Bureau, 04 December 2010
Morning Pride Parade #2
Hometown pride! As the men of Bear Wallow marched down the street completely nude in Bear Wallow, Kentucky. Only mishap was one rear-ending near the bandstand.
written by Bureau, 04 December 2010
Morning Pride March Goes Off!
Hometown pride! As the men of Bear Wallow marched down the street completely nude in Bear Wallow, Kentucky.
written by Bureau, 04 December 2010
Sports Running Out Of Adjectives
Lakers blow out Kings, mop up the floor, trounce and leave them a big pile of crap on the basketball floor, easily snapping 4-game skid.
written by Bureau, 04 December 2010
Joes Are Welcome Here!
Average joes welcomed alongside celebs at Elaine's. Motto: You can see anyone you want, at Elaine's Restaurant."
written by Bureau, 04 December 2010
It's The Old Libyan Standoff!
Memos reveal US-Libya standoff over uranium. Is this what's happening now in Iran?
written by Bureau, 04 December 2010
CEO Villian To Retire
Successful and reviled Massey CEO retires in weeks, after making millions from blowing off mountain tops.
written by Bureau, 04 December 2010
So That's What VP's Are For?
Obama, troops cheer each other in Afghan visitwith Joe Biden holding up big "CHEER!" sign behind Obama's head.
written by Bureau, 04 December 2010
Who Couldn't See THIS Coming?
Ore. police search house near Islamic center, investigating mosque burning in revenge for planned Oregon terrorist bombing.
written by Bureau, 04 December 2010
"Doing A Heckova Job!"
Obama, troops cheer each other in Afghan visit, among the 'boos' outside the tents.
written by Bureau, 04 December 2010
Cause Of Fire In Israel
Israeli police say negligence likely caused blaze. "Some drunk camper forgot to piss out the campfire."
written by Bureau, 04 December 2010
Air Chaos In Spain
Spain declares 'state of alarm' over air chaos. Part of it, the use of "near-miss' in the air by planes. Pilots say, there are no "near Misses", only "near Hits!"
written by Bureau, 04 December 2010
Spain Has Emergency
Spain declares 'state of alarm' over air chaos as workers go on strike. Some walk out in mid-air.
written by Bureau, 04 December 2010
World's Fastest Train
China passenger train hits 300 mph, breaks record as breaks fail and it finally stops in Mongolia after jumping track.
written by Bureau, 04 December 2010
Brainest City
The Most And Least Brainy Cities In America? New Orleans! BRAINS!!
written by Bureau, 04 December 2010
The Chili Weapons Of The Future
World's hottest pepper is 'hot enough to strip paint'. Also, some in hospital, say it destroyed their whole plumbing system.
written by Bureau, 04 December 2010
Is It Worth It?
Could WikiLeaks survive without Julian Assange? Probably, but what has it revealed that we didn't already know?
written by Bureau, 04 December 2010
Is It Worth It?
Could WikiLeaks survive without Julian Assange? Yes, but only until they take down his replacement. Then they'll get the idea.
written by Bureau, 04 December 2010
Obama On Taxes
Obama on Taxes: 'I Believe It Will Get Resolved'..in our lifetime!"
written by Bureau, 04 December 2010
Dem Tax Cut Plans Same As Usual
Senate to vote on Democratic tax cut plans but no use listening. It's an ad for the 2012 campaign, you've heard it for 50 years and they need to get s out of today's mess.
written by Bureau, 04 December 2010
Top Tip:
Have another drink - it'll make you feel better.
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 04 December 2010
LeAnn Rimes Absolutely Hates The Name of Her Upcoming Christmas Music TV Special
LeAnn Rimes says that she would appreciate it if ABC would change the name of her upcoming Christmas Music Special which is titled, The LeAnn Rimes' Merry 'Husband-Stealing' Christmas Special.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 04 December 2010
The Real Reason Why Dallas Cowboy Star Miles Austin Misses Ex-Girlfriend Kim Kardashian
Dallas Cowboys star Miles Austin confessed that he really and truly does miss his ex-girlfriend Kim Kardashian. Austin stated, "Hell I loved using Kimmy's big, humongous ass as a TV tray."
written by Abel Rodriguez, 04 December 2010
Wikileaks Report: Sarah Palin Can See Russia And Guess Who Else From Her Front Porch?
Sarah Palin reportedly told Sean Hannity that she can see Wikileaks' Julian Assange from her front porch in Wasilla, Alaska.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 04 December 2010
Susan Boyle, Alias SuBo, To Change Her Name
Susan Boyle has told the BBC that she plans on changing her last name from Boyle to the not-so-bad sounding Boil.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 04 December 2010
Say Bro, Can You Pass Me The Watermelon Please?
The Order of National Food Ingredients has just announced that contrary to widely held beliefs, watermelons do not contain any water whatsoever.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 04 December 2010
Another Bushism?
Barbara Bush told reporters that son, George, embarrassed her & his father the first time they met the Obamas by asking Barack Obama if he was that guy who played Kramer's lawyer on Seinfeld?
written by Bureau, 04 December 2010
Obama Visits Troops
After visiting our troops in Afghanistan today, President Obama says he is cautiously optimistic about the war there.
written by Bureau, 04 December 2010
Bipartison Vote
Both political parties make Ponzi schemes illegal. Social security canceled.
written by Bureau, 04 December 2010
