Rowling's Agent to be Knighted
Rowling's agent Chris Little has been given a knighthood in this year's Honours list. But, he will not be able to receive it. "People would know then what I look like", said he. "Jo will go instead".
written by Auntie Matter, 28 December 2010
European Anarchists Love Flowers?
Security experts: European anarchists growing more violets...I'm sorry, that should have been violence.
written by Bureau, 28 December 2010
Consumers Worried
Consumer confidence slips over worries about job market, two wars, current congress running up more debt than first 100 altogether, not enough eye-catching headlines.
written by Bureau, 28 December 2010
Test ends dramatically
The fourth Ashes cricket test ended suddenly today when the entire field split in two and the players sank into the resulting abyss. The match was called a draw and new teams will be picked.
written by whatinthe world, 28 December 2010
Sniffer Snakes
The RCMP are using snakes in order to sniff out any explosives being smuggled into Canada. Snakes are known to have 50 times greater sense of smell than humans. These snakes will be known as Mountie Pythons.
written by IN SEINE, 28 December 2010
Shaq Has No Freedom of Speech
Celtics' Shaquille O'Neal fined $35,000 for criticizing officials. "I just said they had feet like me!"
written by Bureau, 28 December 2010
Non-Profits Get In First Shots!
Nonprofits are getting a first shot at bank foreclosures. "This bank is hereby closed" says worker for UNICEF in middle of bank floor. "Man, what a power surge!"
written by Bureau, 28 December 2010
You'r Hired...However...
Where are the jobs? For many companies, overseas. "Sign with us with our new 'all the free curry you want' say several.
written by Bureau, 28 December 2010
Certainly Different
Obama's economist pick seen as sign of new agenda. His choice, Bernie Madoff.
written by Bureau, 28 December 2010
The Wife Caught This
Turd Flew outbreak at the monkey cage at the San Diego Zoo in California.
written by Bureau, 28 December 2010
"Our Roger Did That!"
Siamese cat proudly displays huge hairball he threw up last year on the mantle of the fireplace.
written by Bureau, 28 December 2010
S. Korea - Robots to teach English
South Korean students to be taught English by robots. Exclusive! Listen here to Lesson 1 - http://muz.io/bg7
written by Big Bunny News, 28 December 2010
Sex and marriage study
The Irish Independent reports that a US study shows that people who have sex after marriage are happier. So what's new? Anyone who's divorced can tell you that.
written by Big Bunny News, 28 December 2010
It Was Those Chinese
Outgoing Dem Blames Chinese For Loss? Number 2011 on their lists of reasons thus far.
written by Bureau, 28 December 2010
Bunch Of Wussies
Philadelphia mayor: Football game could have been played on snow shoes! Skies!
written by Bureau, 28 December 2010
$5.00 Gallon Gas!
Ex-SHELL president sees $5 gas in 2012. Five electric cars sold thus far.
written by Bureau, 28 December 2010
Magazine Closed Down
Top China blogger forced to shut down magazine. Given a black & white TV to watch while in prison.
written by Bureau, 28 December 2010
Airport Entertainment
Stranded by trains, planes after Northeast storm has people entertaining themselves with exaggerated body parts playing with scanners.
written by Bureau, 28 December 2010
New Low Temp For Florida Keys
Nation: Bundle up as global warming freezing everyone to death.
written by Bureau, 28 December 2010
Rudolph the red-faced reindeer
Team Santa claus today admitted that a laptop containing the naughty/nice list had been left in a taxi in east london,Rudloph had been seen at a strip club in the area at the time.
written by paddy stash, 28 December 2010
Long Layovers?
Bad weather at airports around the world results in the selling of 10,000 copies of "War & Peace".
written by Bureau, 28 December 2010
We're Twice As Old!
400,000 YEARS OLD? Ancient human remains found in Israel. Age determined by age of tooth and the dirt surrounding it.
written by Bureau, 28 December 2010
Matchstick Mugger Urgently Sought
Milton Keynes Police want to catch a man who has robbed at least 4 people over the Christmas period. He threatens them with a lighted match and police would like to catch him before he strikes again!
written by IN SEINE, 28 December 2010
Bad Headline Number 75
Baby Born With Moustache. Mother Tickled To Death.
written by IN SEINE, 28 December 2010
Walmart to clean up image
Walmart is to clean up its sexist and racist image in the new year. A spokesperson says it will try to recruit more black bitches.
written by Big Bunny News, 28 December 2010
Elton and his hubby become parents?
Miracles never cease and the glitz, glamour world of pop has proved the point; Elton John and his male wife/hubby have given birth to a healthy baby boy albeit, a female was required to do the rest?
written by unknown
The Incredible Trait Found In Female Russian Spies
Why is it that in all of the years of capturing female Russian spies, the United States has never once captured an ugly one?
written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 December 2010
You Won't Believe Who Is Donating To The Tea Bag Party
Sarah Palin's Tea Bag Party has denied that they have received illegal funds from Lipton and Nestea.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 December 2010
The Good News Is The American Troops Are Leaving Afghanistan - The Bad News Is ...
President Obama has told Vice-President Biden that he is seriously thinking about taking all of the American troops out of Afghanistan and putting them in Detroit.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 December 2010
A Secret Document Showing Who North Korea Is Planning On Invading
A U.S. Military Intelligence officer has reportedly found a North Korean document that lists: Invasions To Do:
1. South Korea
2. South Dakota
3. South Carolina
written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 December 2010
The Wikileaks Blockbuster Regarding Sarah Palin
Wikileaks has just reported that Sarah Palin's birth certificate is a fake and it is believed that Sarah may have actually been born in Russia.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 December 2010
The Indian Computer Hacker Can Kiss It Goodbye
A computer hacker in India has just been sentenced to 999 years in prison. The hacker reportedly stated that at least he didn't get a life sentence.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 December 2010
Who The Hell Invented The Horrendously Horrendous Vuvuzela?
The South African vuvuzela has just been named as The Most Friggingly Annoying Musical Instrument of the Century.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 December 2010
The Pork Barrel Spending Issue Is An Issue of Effen Money
The U.S. Government has stated that pork barrel spending has finally gone down, but unfortunately the price of pork barrels has gone up.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 December 2010
Wow! Kind of Like When They Find An Expensive Painting Behind A Cheap Painting!
A dilapidated home in San Jose, California was demolished and the wrecking crew reported finding an expensive trailer house underneath it.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 December 2010
But Aren't The Greenpeace Folks Supposed To Be Nice?
The peace loving members of Greenpeace have reportedly sunk a Japanese tuna fish fishing boat off the coast of Japan.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 December 2010
