The Best Russian Submarine Commander In The Entire Russian Fleet
The United States Navy is still trying to figure out how in the world a Russian submarine ended up in Lake Michigan.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 26 December 2010
And Yet Another Book From "The Sultan of Steroids," Jose Canseco
Jose Canseco finding himself in a bad financial situation and desperate for money has just finished his latest book on steroids. This one is titled, "Yes, It's True, I Fed Steroids To My Pet Guppy."
written by Abel Rodriguez, 26 December 2010
The Darn Little Hamster Is Much Better Than Jessica Simpson
A little ten-year-old boy in the Netherlands says that he has trained his pet hamster to lip sync to the Beatles song, "A Hard Days Night."
written by Abel Rodriguez, 26 December 2010
The Old Gal Never Having Been With A Man Simply Thought Her Four Extra (Blanks) Were Normal
An 88-year-old resident of Paris, France says that she just found out a few days ago that she has two extra nipples on each breast.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 26 December 2010
One Of The Most Amazing Births In History
A woman in Wales recently gave birth to a baby weighing an amazing 87 pounds. After the birth her doctor asked how she felt, but 24 hours later she was still screaming non-stop like a crazed banshee.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 26 December 2010
Sheridan not guilty of sexy ad
News of World private ad "Bi-Celtic swinger seeks transsexual leprechaun for nasal sex" not Tommy Sheridan.
written by Big Bunny News, 26 December 2010
Brazilian Taxi Driver Shot Outside Club
A Brazilian taxi driver was shot Christmas morning outside of a club in Sao Paolo, Brasil.
"Bad news, he was killed," says police. "Good news is he doesn't have to live in Brasil anymore."
written by anthonyrosania, 26 December 2010
Kathy Griffin's New Year's Resolution Is The Same As Last Year's
The star of "My Live On The D List" Kathy Griffin says that once again her New Year's Resolution will be to stop being a vulgar-mouthed bitch. She hopes to break last year's record of three minutes.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 26 December 2010
The Vampire Aliens Are Most Definitely Here
The rumor that America's legendary Big Foot, aka Sasquatch, had been abducted by Vampire Aliens is not true. It was Scotland's Loch Ness Monster that was abducted by the Vampire Aliens.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 26 December 2010
So Can Kate Gosselin At Least Cook?
Kate Gosselin says that she hopes to find a man who will love her because she is a good cook and overlook the fact that she has a crappy personality, a piss poor attitude, and a rotten disposition.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 26 December 2010
Iceland's Very Interesting Research Study
A research study coming out of Iceland reports that the North Pole's frigid weather can be directly linked to the areas amazingly low temperatures.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 26 December 2010
You'll Never Guess What Mr. Brett Favre Is Going To Do Once He Retires
Brett Favre says that he truly feels that because of all of the behind-the-scenes BS that has been going on that he may just decide to retire from football and concentrate on writing porn novels.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 26 December 2010
Hugh Hefner To Get Married
84-year-old Hugh Hefner announces his engagement to model Crystal Harris on Twitter. "That night, I think I'll finally get lucky", says Hefner.
written by Bureau, 26 December 2010
Future News: DFS Sale Still On (published 2056)
EARTH - DFS, furniture store, still has sale from 1990. However, DFS exposed as Gfagotn plot to overthrow United Federation of Planets. War is now started.
written by Inhopeless, 26 December 2010
Freeze Disrupts Air Transport; Pilots Not Worried
"Sufficient alcohol in blood prevents freezing," says one
'high' flying pilot.
written by Hawking's Chair, 26 December 2010
Scientists Thank Climate Change for Cold Weather
"Could have been worse without the warming," says IPCC.
written by Hawking's Chair, 26 December 2010
Christmas gas contributes to global warming
Intensity of post-merriment methane pegged as major threat to ice caps.
written by Catherine the Average, 26 December 2010
Christmas gas contributes to global warming
Intensity of post-merriment methane pegged as major threat to ice caps.
written by Catherine the Average, 26 December 2010
Princess Anne Tweet
Annual Boxing Day peasant shoot today - hurrah!
written by Catherine the Average, 26 December 2010
Lame Duck Answers
Presidential Press Secretary Gibbs said that the Obama administration has achieved Obamacare, repealed DADT and ratified the START treaty. Americans asked what about unemployment and the economy!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 26 December 2010
Some Days Nothing Changes
President Obama is up to his ears in s**t when it comes to jobs, the economy and increasing energy prices. The president encountered more s**t on HI beaches because of raw sewage overflowing!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 26 December 2010
White Christmas in France
Travelers spending Christmas Eve at Paris's Charles de Gaulle airport, due to new snowfall, entertained themselves by throwing snowballs at environmentalists carrying "Fight Global Warming" signs!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 26 December 2010
The Religion of Peace
A female Islamic homicide bomber attacked a gathering of people receiving food aid in northwest Pakistan, killing at least 40 people and injuring 70 others.
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 26 December 2010
Who's Responsible Here
FDA and USDA have gotten into a squabble over the new Food Safety bill concerning inspection of domestic/imported animal products. Specifically, which agency is to be responsible for beaver!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 26 December 2010
Something Smells Rotten
Obama fights Islamic terrorism in Afghanistan & wants Iran/N Korea to give up nuclear weapons. But, US companies sell goods, with Treas. Dept. approval, that end up in rogue states like Iran/N Korea!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 26 December 2010
Gastronomical Discovery
Outside the ancient Mediterranean city of Tabouli an Archeological dig unearthed a rare amphora of Baba Ghanoush. The only other pot full was found in Garbanzo City, which is controlled by Hummus!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 26 December 2010
Obamacare's Bureaucratic Nightmare Begins
Health Savings Accounts will pay for over-the-counter drugs if a note is gotten from your primary care physician! What next, an asinine HHS rule that requires an IRS Form 1099 when buying aspirin?
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 26 December 2010
