Gays Win Battle To Join Army.
As Gays and lesbians line up at the Army recruiting centers across the nation today, surprisingly the only protesters are the Navy recruiters. One Naval recruiter commented,"Now who will we get?"
written by OIF2Sniper, 18 November 2009
Palin Promotes Book
To promote her new book, Sarah Palin to guest star, dancing with a bear, on "Dancing With The Stars"
written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Judge Tut Dead
Judge who ruled against posting of Ten Commandments in Courthouse eaten by locusts!
written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Another Conspiracy
A collector has unearthed what experts think is the last known photo of Abraham Lincoln. Blowup shows possible second shooter from another box at theater or a big splotch on film..
written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Water Full Of Drugs
A Whole range of pharmaceuticals have been found in fish near waste water treatment plants. One crawfish seems to be trying to write sequel to "Trout Fishing In America" in the dirt.
written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
"Pow! Zoom! Right To The Moon!"
One of India's new $2,000 Tata Nano cars that hit big SUV apparently seen on the moon with Alice Kramden.
written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Jung Threatens Balloon Boy
North Korea's Kim Jung Il has threatened to shoot down any spy planes going over North Korea territory. "That go for Balloon Boy ah-so", grins leader.
written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Obama Leads Cheer
President lines up Chinese, visitors from the Great Wall and leads "Yes We Can!" cheer which translates into "I'm full of shit!" as crowd applauds loudly!
written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Like A Kid In A Toy Shop!
Vice President removed from President's desk after playing "Button! Button! Who's got the button?" with red button to order nuclear missile launch.
written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Obama forgets Gunatanomo Bay, bloodthirsty tourists are fuming!
Bloodthirsty tourists booked on a Guantanomo Bay "Torture Special" have been let down by Obama, he forgot about it! On his trip to China and North Korea he was too busy licking their boots!
written by unknown
Free Market Trade
Ky-Jelly going for over $50.00 or a carton and a half of cigarettes at Illinois prison", says retired 33-year-old guard.
written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Caged moron, Alex Reid dumped in the real cage and get's his "butt burned"
Cross dressing publicity seeking moron Alex Reid led by his bonking Nympho, Jordan, get's his butt "hot rodded" in prison, he swears, "I'll never wear fish-nets again!
written by unknown
Computer Hackers Arrested
Two suspected computer hackers have been arrested in Manchester in a major inquiry into a global internet scam designed to steal personal details. The two were located by hacking their computers.
written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
"Just Got Carried Away!"
Prez Obama has for the first time admitted that US will miss the January 2010 deadline he set for closing the Guantanamo Bay prison, several other campaign promises made "in the heat of the moment".
written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Congress Gets Raise
Congress give themselves raise. Say they are using money saved from keeping company CEO's from receiving huge bonuses.
written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
"Holy Cow" Defended
Chicago family, the Carays, say they have the right to call upon a "holy Cow!" when something happens.
written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Bernanke: We're Fine
Federal Chairman Bernanke says US economy is doing fine. Asks to be paid with Chinese currency.
written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Big City Mayor's Meet
Big city mayor's convention on Jekyll Island to discuss mafia now using unmanned drones to hit victims.
written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Bin Laden Responds After Video
Osama Bin Laden video says last video with him with midgets and goats was a fake.
written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Obama NOT Losing Weight
I'm not losing weight, says Obama as he hits back at claims stress is causing him to shed the pounds. "Many of us born in Kenya are tall & slim...whoops!"
written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Elton Apologizes Again
Ben Elton apologises for 'gay Prince Edward' jibe during TV tirade against Royal Family... claiming it was 'out of closet....context!'
written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Big Brother Quiz
Big Brother quiz for new school parents: Officials launch 83-point probe into families' lives: "How often do you have sex?", "Favorite position?", "Who did you vote for in last election?"
written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Police Budgets Cut
Police budgets could be cut 20% & forces merged into regional super-units, claims top officer. Asks that cuts be made by freeing the less harmful prisoners, running them through gauntlet to freedom.
written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Britain Flooded Again?
Extreme weather warning: Britain lashed by a 'perfect storm' of gale-force winds, Skoob taking a beer piss outside and torrential rain!
written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
High Priced Turkeys For Sale For Half Price?
Tesco's rivals accuse the supermarket giant of trying to dupe customers with half-price turkeys 'that don't add up' as they compare them to double-priced turkeys in display.
written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Spying On Neighbors
Secret CCTV cameras fitted INSIDE people's homes to spy on neighbours outside, mostly show suspicious neighbours mooning them.
written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Obama Given Free Passage By Press
AP Digs for Dirt in Palin Autobiography; News wire assigns 11 reporters to fact-check former governor's book, but didn't fact-check Obama's, except for cherry tree incident.
written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Regular Jesse Jackson Speech
Obama: Too much debt could fuel a US double-dip recession, depression, new presidential selection.
written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Will Be Ready For Prison
He wiggled, jiggled and even dropped his trousers, but a thief in Portugal stayed stuck fast in a tiny window until he was rescued by police & the fire brigade after being "manhandled" most of night.
written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Three Celebs Advance
Three celebs head to 'Dancing With the Stars' final. All three not sure what dance three can do.
written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Johnny Depp Sexiest Man Alive
Johnny Depp wins his 2nd 'Sexiest Man Alive' title! Followed closely by, 20 female stalkers!
written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Mummies Had Bad Hearts Too
You can't blame this one on McDonald's: Researchers have found signs of heart disease in 3,500-year-old mummies. Also, most serious chariot wrecks were without seat belts.
written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Just Hang In There
Malaria. TB. Alzheimer's disease. AIDS. Pandemic flu. Genital herpes. Urinary tract infections. Allergies. Traveler's diarrhea. Pharmaceutical industry is working on vaccine to prevent it, by 2050!
written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Customer Records Sold
Rogue employees at a major mobile phone company illegally sold millions of customer records to rival firms, Britain's information watchdog said Tuesday. Several call for Rogue to be investigated.
written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Meteor Showers Disappoint
Meteor showers in Asia disappoint as it is cloudy. Would have clouds seeded days before next time but for risks of some meteors reaching ground through atmosphere changes.
written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Rare Crocs Found
Rare crocodiles found hiding in plain sight in Cambodia disguised as alligators.
written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Cadbury Getting Offers
Hershey, Ferrero considering rival bid for Cadbury. Playboy, Inc bids for Cadbury bunny.
written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Anyway, He's Dead
An Iranian doctor who treated victims of torture at Tehran's most feared prison has died, amid conflicting reports of a heart attack, a car accident or spontaneous combustion.
written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Taliban Out Sunning Themselves On Rocks
Most Afghans say they are on hold, awaiting Karzai, Obama indecisions.
written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Obama On The Wall
Great Wall: President Obama tours China's iconic site where Nixon walked many years ago and where Bush described it as "What a Great Wall!" in 2005.
written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Iraq VP Vetoes Election Law
Iraq's Vice President, Sunni Bono on Wednesday vetoed part of a key election law, throwing national polls slated for January and a planned U.S. troop draw down into question.
written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Palin Kicks Off Book Tour
Big crowds expected as Palin kicks off book tour with bijini and white boots!
written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Not Sure He's "All There"
Competency hearing set for Amish teen facing murder charge by trying to fly of barn with feathers, but landed on elderly man who was 97.
written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Byrd Still Perched In Senate
West Virginia Sen. Robert C. Byrd has become the longest-serving lawmaker in congressional history. "Tip the canoe and Tyler too, Bully!, To Err is Trueman" shouts gaga Senator who votes by 1,2 farts!
written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
A Simple Solution
Afghans say poverty, not Taliban, main cause of war. American leaders ask why don't they just borrow from Saudis, Dubai, etc like we do from Japan, China?
written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Obama Criticizes Israel
Obama criticizes new Israeli move on settlements, picking on Islamic combines countries 1,000 times their size.
written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
"Cow" Apparently OK
A South Carolina woman who heard a giant splash in her backyard discovered a 650-pound cow had fallen into her swimming pool."I didn't know she could even get out of bed", says neighbor.
written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Nearly $110B Wasted
More than $98 billion in taxpayer dollars spent by government agencies was wasted by the people who want to take over our health care.
written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Obama Propaganda At Full Steam
Palin angered by 'sexist', Obama controlled Newsweek Magazine cover.
written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
"Alabama" Attacked For Second Time
Pirates again attack US-flagged Maersk Alabama, but misfired cannonballs bounce off the side, harmlessly.
written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Environmentally Unfriendly
Prof Brian Box of Muppetsville Uni, Florida has invented a car engine with ZERO emissions and needs no fuel, "The downside is it takes 50,000 sperm whales to make it", he said.
written by McIntosh, 18 November 2009
All is NOT lost
Scientists have discovered that every lost item in the world can now be found!! Apparently it congregates at a place called "The last place you look", which may assist you in finding lost items.
written by McIntosh, 18 November 2009
Satan Visits America
Satan visits the United States to end humanity but realizes that Humans will eventually ruin it for everybody in a few years. He predicts it will be in 2014. He called the Mayans' prediction wrong.
written by Krow1125, 18 November 2009
New Bill Vetoed
Senate Thong bill calling for no things to be worn at national parks gets scant support!
written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Construction Crew Back
Construction crew in NYC back at work for six months still seem down. When asked why no whistling at the babes one stated, "They've outsourced the catcalls to India."
written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Surfer Attacked By Hammerhead
Surfer drowned by shark attack was apparently an attack by a hammerhead shark. "You can tell by the way it tenderized him before eating", says coroner.
written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
Together After 30 Years
Fireman's widow in New York City who's husband died a year ago has began to go out with her old flame.
written by Bureau, 18 November 2009
